Need friendly advice major depression relationship ended!

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    Need friendly advice major depression relationship ended!






    So today was a very pivotal day in my life as of march 26 the girl of my dreams we were engaged for one full year in committed relationship for 3! The past month there was tension between us she said she needed time etc, just want to be with family so she started staying at her house couple nites a week, i became suspicious i caught her in several lies when she told me she was staying at her parent and her car was no where to be found at her house pretty interesting! Im not a dumb man i was in love with her so i respected her and gave her time she wanted but thats what made me suspicious ! yet i continued to take it and deny reality so this past weekend went out with bunch of friends came home did email search in google of her email address and bam sex profiles on dating websites came up with pictures of her with the jewelry i bought her yet alone the ring! i wanted to not wake up and thought i was in a dream! so when i wake up the next day she text me saying just now that i love you etc happy easter.... little did she know what i found so i called her out she gave an excuse oh thats old etc... im like that makes it even worse yet i told her i was done and she was called me none stop begging me told me she sorry she still loves me etc she just needs time im trapped in hell it feels like cause i loved her and i was committed i had ampule opportunities to cheat and was faithful and this is what i get! its the biggest fuck you to me of all time she tell me she loves me still needs a break but the trust is gone no matter what she tells me yet i still feel for her but THIS HAS GIVEN E MOTIVATION TO JUST SAY FUCKIT EAT TRAIN AND SLEEP THE GYM IS WEAR I FORGET ABOUT EVERYTHING AND CAN NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANYTHING DURING MY TRAING SESSION BUT ONCE I WALK OUT THAT GYM I JUST FEEL LIKE COMPLETE SHIT WOULD AND CAN USE SOME FRIENDLY ADVICE I KNOW TIME HEALS EVERYTHING BUT WE WHERE SET TO GET MARRIED IN DECEMBER AND I KNOW I CANT GO BACK TO HERE BUT I STILL FEEL FOR HER I DONET KNOW WHY MAYBE ITS CASUE I DONT KNOW MY SELF WOULD LOVE SOME ADVICE AND ON A SIE NOTE I WILL HIT SHOULDER HARDER THEN EVER TOMORROW NIGHT MORE DETERMINED THEN EVER !!!!

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    Re: Need friendly advice major depression relationship ended!

    Stay busy, busy, busy. This is important. Block her number and any other way she can contact you. Give her crap back if you have it and throw away the stuff she gave you. Go have fun, find a girl. Don't go back, no matter what trust me. That shady women will never change and it would always be in the back of your mind.

    If its really bad, go get help and medication for it.

    I feel for you brother, I know what it is like.


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    Need friendly advice major depression relationship ended!

    Don't fall into her bullshit bro. That's complete and utter disrespect. When a women says "she just needs some time", that's slut talk for "I need to go get fucked by a few guys and party my ass off until I'm bored with it then I'll come back to you unless I've found something better along the way". Which usually happens. I've seen this happen a few times with some friends. What you need to do is give her her shit, get whatever shit back she has of yours and drop contact with her. Otherwise she'll leave you hanging on a string and say what you want to hear to keep you attached until she no longer feels she needs you to care about her. I'd say go hit the town with your boys and don't fuckin dwell on her while you're having a good time. Pick up on some chicks and try to get your dick wet. There's an old saying, "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else". I'm not going to tell you time will heal Your wounds and get all retarded on you because you're an adult and already know that shit. It's time to focus on YOU and YOU only. Don't get me wrong there's a time to grieve a bit but don't to hard bro because it was easy for her to go behind your back and do this shit to you. Not worth wasting time on her bro. And don't feel for her man, c'mon, WTF? What's there to feel for her about? The fact she got caught or the fact she's out gettin dicked by some random guys from the net and tryin to drag you along for the ride. You gotta get real bro and get that shit out of your head because its not doing anything but fuckin you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by JCBourne View Post
    Stay busy, busy, busy. This is important. Block her number and any other way she can contact you. Give her crap back if you have it and throw away the stuff she gave you. Go have fun, find a girl. Don't go back, no matter what trust me. That shady women will never change and it would always be in the back of your mind.

    If its really bad, go get help and medication for it.

    I feel for you brother, I know what it is like.

    this, except for the medication part imo.. i would never suggest taking drugs to get over something like depression.


    Quote Originally Posted by Sherk View Post
    Don't fall into her bullshit bro. That's complete and utter disrespect. When a women says "she just needs some time", that's slut talk for "I need to go get fucked by a few guys and party my ass off until I'm bored with it then I'll come back to you unless I've found something better along the way".

    oh god this... this.. so fucking hard.


    Op, i know it's hard to think like this, but you should be thankful that she pulled this bullshit before you got married, got a house, and had kids.. then she would divorce your ass, take half your shit (the other half goes to your lawyer), take your kids, and you would have to pay child support every month for each of them until they are each 18..


    the love of your life...would have ABSOLUTELY RUINED YOU...

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    Quote Originally Posted by JCBourne View Post
    Stay busy, busy, busy. This is important. Block her number and any other way she can contact you. Give her crap back if you have it and throw away the stuff she gave you. Go have fun, find a girl. Don't go back, no matter what trust me. That shady women will never change and it would always be in the back of your mind.

    If its really bad, go get help and medication for it.

    I feel for you brother, I know what it is like.
    I agree with everything except the medication part. the sadness felt when a relationship ends is all part of being human.
    William F. Buckley describes a conservative as, "someone who stands athwart history, yelling Stop." - and then proceeds to drag civilization back to times best left in history's dungheap.

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    Need friendly advice major depression relationship ended!

    Get in the gym, train your balls off, look as good as you can, then get a HOT chick! That's the best medicine for a "fuck you" like that! Bitches be trippin...

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    Re: Need friendly advice major depression relationship ended!

    Dont make someone a prioriy in your life when your just another option in theirs.

    Sent from my LG-LG730 using Tapatalk 2

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    Quote Originally Posted by hypo_glycemic View Post
    Bitches be trippin...
    ALL OF THEM! every last one of them. but I sure do love them.
    William F. Buckley describes a conservative as, "someone who stands athwart history, yelling Stop." - and then proceeds to drag civilization back to times best left in history's dungheap.

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    There are some good girls out there. I found its all in how y treat them. Don't give em everything and be all over
    he top from the get go. Hold back take it slow, small gifts let it build... I tried the opposite of what I just said many times and have had many similar experiences but I learned from it.

    Heres the great news! You got this out of the way before you got married, once you get married and your comfortable it would happen even more often/quicker cuz your not up in each others shit all the time..

    Do your mourning, maybe a little meditation read some good books (self improvement) to fill in the time between sleeping and training.

    This is a great time to work and improve shit about you that needs work. Kinda like after a car accident, well since its in the shop anyway lets repaint the front bumper and fix that tail light while there fixing the rear end. Focus on you in a positive way and you'll be the better man for the rest of your life.
    I'll get there or Die trying...

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    Thank you all brothers for your kind words and advice! I greatly appreciate it my family at iron magazine love you guys thanks again!

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    Don't take it personal. It's not your fault that she felt the need to stray. It's been done to me, and I have done it to women. But by the same token I would look back and try to figure out what went wrong. My experience is that cheating is not typically a one time spur of the moment thing. It usually a long term issue that was not addressed. One partner feels like they need something the other is not providing or at least responding to. I think people who cheat really want to pull the plug on the relationship but they can't. Maybe they are scared of change, scared of discarding the emotional investment, scared that the grass won't be greener...

    All I'm saying - going forward it may not hurt to identify your possible influence in this mess. It could be that she is 100 percent responsible here, but that's usually not the case.


    Oh and seriously go get some strange ass like tonight. And tomorrow. Strange ass cures all ills. No bigger self esteem booster. But don't try and replace the girlfriend with a piece of strange.

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    Its a fine line between love and hate....you tried love and you see what that got you with this one, hate is a strong word but if you dislike her she will be easier to get over and get on with your life. Good Luck.
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    She has shown her true colors bro. She has shown who she really is. YOUR LUCKY to find this out NOW! LIFT, LIFT, and LIFT SOME MORE! Clear your mind and keep your body strong. When you find someone new, someone that you trust and care for, you will look back and wonder what it was you saw, dude trust your bros on this one!

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    Quote Originally Posted by kstar5 View Post
    So today was a very pivotal day in my life as of march 26 the girl of my dreams we were engaged for one full year in committed relationship for 3! The past month there was tension between us she said she needed time etc, just want to be with family so she started staying at her house couple nites a week, i became suspicious i caught her in several lies when she told me she was staying at her parent and her car was no where to be found at her house pretty interesting! Im not a dumb man i was in love with her so i respected her and gave her time she wanted but thats what made me suspicious ! yet i continued to take it and deny reality so this past weekend went out with bunch of friends came home did email search in google of her email address and bam sex profiles on dating websites came up with pictures of her with the jewelry i bought her yet alone the ring! i wanted to not wake up and thought i was in a dream! so when i wake up the next day she text me saying just now that i love you etc happy easter.... little did she know what i found so i called her out she gave an excuse oh thats old etc... im like that makes it even worse yet i told her i was done and she was called me none stop begging me told me she sorry she still loves me etc she just needs time im trapped in hell it feels like cause i loved her and i was committed i had ampule opportunities to cheat and was faithful and this is what i get! its the biggest fuck you to me of all time she tell me she loves me still needs a break but the trust is gone no matter what she tells me yet i still feel for her but THIS HAS GIVEN E MOTIVATION TO JUST SAY FUCKIT EAT TRAIN AND SLEEP THE GYM IS WEAR I FORGET ABOUT EVERYTHING AND CAN NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANYTHING DURING MY TRAING SESSION BUT ONCE I WALK OUT THAT GYM I JUST FEEL LIKE COMPLETE SHIT WOULD AND CAN USE SOME FRIENDLY ADVICE I KNOW TIME HEALS EVERYTHING BUT WE WHERE SET TO GET MARRIED IN DECEMBER AND I KNOW I CANT GO BACK TO HERE BUT I STILL FEEL FOR HER I DONET KNOW WHY MAYBE ITS CASUE I DONT KNOW MY SELF WOULD LOVE SOME ADVICE AND ON A SIE NOTE I WILL HIT SHOULDER HARDER THEN EVER TOMORROW NIGHT MORE DETERMINED THEN EVER !!!!
    if you ever fuck up with a good woman stress about that....dont stress about some skank..its over and its her fault....nothing to feel guilty or be depressed about....best cure for a woman is a better one
    ...PASSION IS MY FUCKING PASSION
    http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/th...w!!!-Get-on-it!!!

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    adding to what KILLEROFSAINTS stated i would say not so much as to stress over it but to own it. admit your flaws and failures in that relationship and learn from it. so the next time you won't make the same mistakes, unless of course you want to end it.

    personally I've fucked it up with many good women over the years. mostly because at the time I wasn't as serious about the relationship as they were so we were on different levels. for me every-time the words marriage or baby would come up, it was time for me to get ghost. and I would start working on that normally in some chicken shit way as that is one of my faults.
    William F. Buckley describes a conservative as, "someone who stands athwart history, yelling Stop." - and then proceeds to drag civilization back to times best left in history's dungheap.

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    Don't sweat it. Just get yourself another chick. There is more than one out there.
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    Time heals all wounds, hang in there

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    Thanks brothers for the posotive comments!

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    Walk away and don't ever look back, if you do you're the dumbass.

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    Your a sucker if you marry her ypu be devorced in 5 years and you'll have to pay support for life or until your death
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    It is going to suck for a time. You invested heavily with time, money and emotions, the ball kicking hurts. So, don't go the the meds. Do like others have said...get in the gym, train hard, get those endorphins going so you feel good about yourself. Plus lifting heavy raises your testosterone. Get real hot and see other chicks. Then as the icing on the cake....FUCK HER BEST FRIEND SO GOOD SHE BRAGS TO YOUR EX ABOUT IT!

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    some lolz in here for me personally, but all around good advice

    I did want to add tho...just going on a random banging strange ass fest can turn into its own hell so make that a short journey too...so my friend says

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    Re: Need friendly advice major depression relationship ended!

    I added medication if its bad, like real bad. Better to be on meds to deal with it then to become extremely depressed falling into a very dark mindset. Better to be on meds till it passes then to take ones own life cause of a situation. I've seen it first hand over something like this.

    OP, if its to the point where you are really not thinking straight and having serious suicide thoughts get help ASAP. Don't fuck around with that.

    Feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to. I have dealt with this crap first hand so your not alone. Its hard as hell but really think about my advice. Keep your chin up, I swear it sucks now and you cannot picture your life without her but DONT go back. Move forward. It will get easier, and think like this a least you found out now before you were married, had kids, etc. There's nothing positive about this, I know its painful.


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    Re: Need friendly advice major depression relationship ended!

    Quote Originally Posted by dieseljimmy View Post
    My experience is that cheating is not typically a one time spur of the moment thing. It usually a long term issue that was not addressed. One partner feels like they need something the other is not providing or at least responding to. I think people who cheat really want to pull the plug on the relationship but they can't. Maybe they are scared of change, scared of discarding the emotional investment, scared that the grass won't be greener...
    I'd say that's pretty true statement, in fact I would say that is the reason many times something not addressed and just leads to this. Spot on brother.


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    if u going to marry her just give her half now.and kill yourself..just a thought
    If you strike me down(ban me)I'll become more powerful than ever.. Don't say i don't warn you.


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    Some golden advice here, particularly by Sherk and dieseljimmy. A massive lifting spree, meditation, etc, is all fine and dandy but severely limited where it counts -- letting go of the chick. For that you gotta hit the dating scene hard, hang out with friends in bars or maybe even get on the dating websites. Anyone you meet is a plus, will regenerate some self-esteem, make you feel independent and powerful, and will let you let go. Nothing else will suffice. Otherwise you might get caught in a spiral of jealous thoughts of her fucking all manner of other guys while you were still going out and that's just self-destructive.

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