Deisel618: dear god why do I love male penis God: Deisel618: dear god why do I love heroin so much God: Deisel618: dear god I?m such a failure, should I do gay porn God: Deisel618: dear god this crack is not making me thinkclearly, Should I post my penis pics on a BBsite God: YES
I have made an ass of myself on this site for a while now. I have been arguing just to argue and posting worthless, stupid shit void of any value to anyone. I have revealed on this site that I have been battling heroin addiction for 5 years or so, with a year and a half of recovery spread throughout that time. I had been 6 months clean and relapsed. Just had 6 months again and relapsed about a month ago and been doing it increasingly frequently ever since. I have been IV'ing heroin and coke and eating xanax and smoking hella weed. Been drunk a few times in the past month. I am going nowhere fast. Haven't made any gains in strength or size in that month. Stuck at 225. My girlfriend left me when she found needles a couple weeks ago. Without her income, coupled with my prolonged increasingly expensive binge, I can't afford keep my apartment. This weekend, I will be moving back in with my mom. I'm 22 fucking years old and moving back to mommy's house. My summer job will be over in 2 weeks and I don't have anything else lined up. I will be commuting to school from my mom's house in the fall and have no income lined up at the moment. My life is so fucking worthless right now. I'm at least 4 years from getting any kind of real job I and I don't even know what I want to do for a career right now. Either a pharmacologist, Pharmacist, Chemist. I have dreams and aspirations of being a scientist for a supplement company and developing and producing new supplements and brewing gear and eventually opening my own placebo company, but I'll never get there if I keep relapsing every 6 months. I know I am about to get ripped because this is AG and I've made a few enemies with my stupid mean-hearted bullshit ass young attitude, but any words of encouragement would mean the world to me right now. I'm suicidal as fuck and I have enough dope to do it. Idk what to do. Here come the insults but I deserve it.