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A very Merry X mas tale...

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  1. #1
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    A very Merry X mas tale...


    'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
    Not a creature was smoking, not even my spouse
    The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
    In hopes that St. Nicholas would soon bring new glassware
    The stoners were nestled all snug in their beds
    With baked visions of sugar-plums dancing in their heads
    And mamma in her ?kerchief - we just pulled some snaps
    Had just settled down for a long winter?s nap
    When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
    I put down the bong to see what was the matter
    Away to the window I flew like a flash
    Tore open the shutters and hid the stash
    The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
    Gave the lustre of a Fillmore West psychedelic light show
    When, what to my stoney eyes should appear
    But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny Rasta reindeer
    With a giddy old driver, so stoned and ripped
    I knew in a moment it was a way baked St. Nick
    Like Cheech & Chong, slowly they came
    And he took a pull from his joint and called them by name
    "Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
    On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and the aptly named Blitzen!
    To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
    Now smoke away! smoke away! smoke away all!?
    As bud leaf that burns through a waterpipe they fly
    When they meet with an obstacle, too high to cry
    So up to the house-top the coursers they flew
    With the sleigh full of dank and St. Nicholas too
    And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
    The prancing and pawing of each stoned goof
    As I drew in my hit, and was turning around
    Down the chimney St. Nicholas came looking dumbfound
    He was pimped all in fur, from his head to his foot
    And his clothes were all tarnished with pot ashes and soot
    A bundle of fat sacks he had flung on his back
    And he looked like a pot dealer just opening his pack
    His bloodshot eyes - how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
    His cheeks were like roses, red like a cherry!
    His drooling little mouth caused him to look wacko
    And the beard of his chin told of munchies of tacos
    The roach of a spliff he held tight in his teeth
    And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath
    He had a broad face and a little round belly
    That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly
    He was chubby and plump, a right stoned old elf
    And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself
    A wink of his eye from this twisted pothead
    Soon gave me to know he was straight Haile Selassie dread
    He spoke not a word, but went right to his work
    And filled all the stockings with something green and berserk
    And dropping his spliff aside of his torso
    And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose
    He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle
    And away they all flew like they were smoking crystal
    But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight
    "Stoner Parties for all, and to all a green night"


  2. #2
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    charley's Avatar

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