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Fuckin funny joke...have fun

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  1. #1
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    Lightbulb Fuckin funny joke...have fun

    A guy dies and is in front of the gates to heaven talking with Saint Pete. He looks around and notices a bunch of clocks hanging on the gates.
    He asks St. Pete, what is up with all these clocks?
    St. Pete: They represent the number of lies told by everyone and everyone has their own clock.
    The guy: What is up with that clock their?
    St. Pete: That one is for the Virgin Mary, notice the clock has never moved so she has never lied.
    the guy: Wow, the Virgin Mary has never lied. What about that one?
    St. Pete: That one belongs to good old Abe and he has only lied twice.
    The guy: Where is Obama's clock?
    St. Pete: GOD keeps that one in his office to use as a ceiling fan.........bwahahah....
    ?This message was sent using true power!!!

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    Did you hear about the kidnapping at the nursery?







    They woke up.

  4. #4
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    This jokes been around since the Greeks except Zeus was using the 'insert politicians name here' Sun Dial as a strobe light...
    Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
    not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
    and drag down the features of age,
    no folds or creases from unkempt wear
    eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
    no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
    but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012

  5. #5
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    Sometimes you just have to be the one with the stupid joke....
    ?This message was sent using true power!!!

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by maniclion View Post
    This jokes been around since the Greeks except Zeus was using the 'insert politicians name here' Sun Dial as a strobe light...
    I know you fukin laughed.....
    ?This message was sent using true power!!!

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    I tried it on a tinder chick, so far so good.

    http://ironmagresearch.com

    Canadian Rep for IMR. Use code Farva15 for a 15% discount!

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    Quote Originally Posted by OfficerFarva View Post
    I tried it on a tinder chick, so far so good.
    Thank god....You need to get yourself some......
    ?This message was sent using true power!!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by OfficerFarva View Post
    I tried it on a tinder chick, so far so good.
    Tinder chick, does she go by the nickname Twiggy? Do you have to keep her away from open flames?

    Jk, my middle finger print is gone from the rapid swipe lefts. (Not really, never got past 10 swipes before I lost interest but it is a joke thread and I am full of them)
    Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
    not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
    and drag down the features of age,
    no folds or creases from unkempt wear
    eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
    no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
    but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by maniclion View Post
    Tinder chick, does she go by the nickname Twiggy? Do you have to keep her away from open flames?

    Jk, my middle finger print is gone from the rapid swipe lefts. (Not really, never got past 10 swipes before I lost interest but it is a joke thread and I am full of them)


    You're doing it all wrong. It's a numbers game you see. When I was in Calgary the other weekend to meet up with some friends I spent a solid hour clicking the heart as fast as possible. I liked probably a few thousand girls in that time at least and got a lot of matches shortly afterwards. It paid off.

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    Quote Originally Posted by OfficerFarva View Post
    You're doing it all wrong. It's a numbers game you see. When I was in Calgary the other weekend to meet up with some friends I spent a solid hour clicking the heart as fast as possible. I liked probably a few thousand girls in that time at least and got a lot of matches shortly afterwards. It paid off.
    I can hop in my bmw, drop the top and have college volleyball girls saying "Heyyyy, how you doin" within 3 minutes of driving down the street by my house why waste an hour playing roulette?
    Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
    not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
    and drag down the features of age,
    no folds or creases from unkempt wear
    eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
    no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
    but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by maniclion View Post
    I can hop in my bmw, drop the top and have college volleyball girls saying "Heyyyy, how you doin" within 3 minutes of driving down the street by my house why waste an hour playing roulette?
    I'd do the same but it was snowing really hard when I was down there...

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    Canadian Rep for IMR. Use code Farva15 for a 15% discount!

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by OfficerFarva View Post
    I'd do the same but it was snowing really hard when I was down there...
    Your squad car is a convertible? Sweet!
    Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
    not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
    and drag down the features of age,
    no folds or creases from unkempt wear
    eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
    no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
    but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012

  14. #14
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    You gotta give them a taste of the gun show as you drive by, they love it.

    http://ironmagresearch.com

    Canadian Rep for IMR. Use code Farva15 for a 15% discount!

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    Im married how am I supposed to know about this tinder or well done chick shit....
    ?This message was sent using true power!!!

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by OfficerFarva View Post
    You gotta give them a taste of the gun show as you drive by, they love it.
    I see how many times I can make them say meow...
    Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
    not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
    and drag down the features of age,
    no folds or creases from unkempt wear
    eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
    no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
    but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by sneedham View Post
    Im married how am I supposed to know about this tinder or well done chick shit....
    You weren't a boy scout obviously. I've been in a relationship for 15 years but you always have to know where the escape routes are in case of an emergency...
    Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
    not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
    and drag down the features of age,
    no folds or creases from unkempt wear
    eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
    no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
    but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by maniclion View Post
    I can hop in my bmw, drop the top and have college volleyball girls saying "Heyyyy, how you doin" within 3 minutes of driving down the street by my house why waste an hour playing roulette?
    I used to drop my daughter off at school in my bronco and women never looked my way then I borrowed my buddies beamer one day cause my bronco wouldnt start and the same women were staring at me. stupid hos

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by maniclion View Post
    You weren't a boy scout obviously. I've been in a relationship for 15 years but you always have to know where the escape routes are in case of an emergency...
    Probably should occasionally test that escape route too. Like a trial run of sorts


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