A guy dies and is in front of the gates to heaven talking with Saint Pete. He looks around and notices a bunch of clocks hanging on the gates.
He asks St. Pete, what is up with all these clocks?
St. Pete: They represent the number of lies told by everyone and everyone has their own clock.
The guy: What is up with that clock their?
St. Pete: That one is for the Virgin Mary, notice the clock has never moved so she has never lied.
the guy: Wow, the Virgin Mary has never lied. What about that one?
St. Pete: That one belongs to good old Abe and he has only lied twice.
The guy: Where is Obama's clock?
St. Pete: GOD keeps that one in his office to use as a ceiling fan.........bwahahah....