|So I'm at the gym, training back and shoulders. Group of chumps over by one of the squat racks, and immediately it was clear none of them lifted. The runt of the litter, wearing a snapback and a hype shirt, had the most impoverished legs I have ever laid eyes upon. Seriously, dude would make a pro marathon runner look like he had the legs of Jay Culter. Utterly disgraceful.
While I was resting between my sets, I observed the group performing what can only be described as a comedy act in the squat rack. First, they loaded up 100kgs and performed 3-5 reps with terrible ROM. "Strong cartilage, good luck with your ruptured tendon goals of 2014", I thought. They then proceeded to attempt 24 box jumps, all of them failing multiple times. Seriously, this showing was advertisement for birth control. Finally, I witnessed one of them lie down on the floor of the squat rack, and attempt to bench 70kgs. He hit failure on his second rep and had to be rescued by pump patrol, and by pump I mean no pump at all, phaggots.
Id had enough by this point and marched over. Sup brah one of them said in a shitty Australian accent; clearly they had just watched a Zyzz video, and automatically thought they were the new aesthetics crew.
Why are you here?! I bellowed.
Just making gains, brah, you mirin? the snapback individual replied
U WOT MATE? YOU CLEARLY HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED HYPERTROPHY IN YOUR LIFE- UPPER BODY IS TERRIBLE, AND WHO WAS LEGS? 1.56/10 AT BEST, NOT REMOTELY MIRIN AT ALL.
Youre just a hater man, bet youre on roids too. And probably creatine the snide little wretch replied.
ILL SHOW YOU A SNAPBACK! I roared, picking him up in a similar fashion to how Bane picks up Batman, and broke him on my knee.
I stared another of them in the eye, penetrating his very soul (no homo) before skewering him on a barbell, and casting it across the gym floor. Using my superior leg strength, I punted the final lowlife, who flew like a bullet into and through the far wall. By this point, I had attracted a far amount of attention.
Is this not why you are here? Are you not entertained?! I asked the crowd. They quickly scattered to allow me to leave, knowing I was borderline on maximum rage, and the city could not afford to rebuild again so quickly. Lats flared, I strode outside, and took a breath of fresh air. Ah, a good workout, now time to assimilate! I thought. I proceeded to drive home in my Audi R8, sipping whey.
Peace out, bye