Chinese hospital introduces ‘automatic sperm extractor,’ aka the handiest robot ever

What might be the *handiest machine ever produced is just the next step in the ever-blurring line between man, machine, and sexuality. I, for one, welcome our new robot girlfriends.

Unlike that gf way back when who’d get tired while you got blue, this robot DOES NOT TIRE. It also features a massage pipe that can be adjusted to the height of the sperm donator. Much like the FleshLight all the guy has to do is saddle up to the machine, slide in, and let it do all the work. Frankly, I don’t see how this is any different than a doctor approved Fleshlight, but maybe I’m missing something here.

My biggest question is what the hell do we nickname this thing?