The New California Governor has just announced an agreement
whereby English will be the official language of the state,
rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, The Terminator's Government conceded
that English spelling had some room for improvement and has
accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as
"Austro-English" (or, perhaps even better, "Austrionics".)
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly,
this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c"
will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when
the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will
make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which
have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil
agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil
sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it
ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil
finali kum tru.
~Ann We must teach our children to dream with their eyes open. -Harry Edwards