(This is a true story) If you have children you will probably relate
As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick slab of ham, a fresh
bun, crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet
The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table
in our backyard,
picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my
"Hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich," she said.
I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching
again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my
I love mustard.
I had no napkin.
I licked it off..
It was not mustard.
No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first and only time I
have sprinted with my tongue protruding. With a washcloth in each hand,
did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do, only I did it on my tongue.
Later (after she stopped crying from laughing so hard) my wife! said ,
"Now you know why they call that mustard..."Poupon.'"