An executive was in a bit of a quandary. He had to get rid of one of his staff and had narrowed it down to two people, Debra and Jack. It was a hard decision to make because they were both equally qualified and did excellent work.
He finally decided that in the morning whichever one of them used the water cooler first would be the one he fired. The next morning, Debra came in with a terrible hangover after partying the night before. She went to the cooler to get some water to take some aspirin and the executive approached her and said: "Debra, I'm sorry, I didn't want it to come to this, but I have to lay you or Jack off."
Without looking up Debra replied, "Could you jack off this time, I have a terrible headache."