Christmas gone reality check, sorry for the bad news

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  1. #1
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    Christmas gone reality check, sorry for the bad news

    There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per house-hold, which comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each.
    Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house.
    Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second --- 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them --- Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch). 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second crates enormous air resistance --- this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop 650 miles per second in 0.001 seconds, would be subjected to centrifugal forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.

    Sorry folks

  2. #2
    UNLEASH THE BEAST
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    WHAT!!!??? No way!
    I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain...

  3. #3
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    Santa's suit is made of Nomex, look ma - no flames!

  4. #4
    2 Samuel 24:24
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    *bump*

  5. #5
    Voodoo Doll
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    my son is 7 n said he doesn't believe in santa.... said it just isn't possible.

    you don't get what you wish for ~ you get what you work for

    ...






  6. #6
    Lucky Luke


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    you were supposed to wait until christmas eve to post this stuff. And you need to post it in the fan forums for Poke mon or something

    I'm evil
    "If you're not part of the solution, you're the precipitate."

  7. #7
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    Hey, Jesus was seen as a man on earth, while at the same time, god was everywhere. Considering the origin of the holiday, We could say the same for santa..

    In other words, santa stops on about 3,000 rooftops a year, and stands, and waives like a christmas ornament so as not to attaract too much attention. Meanwhile, god creates the presents, labels them all,"made in china" Falsifies documents, invents false memories, and plants all the presents under the tree in their corresponding time zones in about .0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 00000000000000000000139 of a second(standard universal lag).

    Santa can, of course, make it to 3000 rooftops, and pose within the 31 hours without breaking any rooftops because he is magical. Duh, I bet you didnt consider that in your mathematical,"scientific" hocus pocus nonsense.

    I really hate to publicly back a christian idea, but Santa Claus is the most plausible thing that has come out of it.

  8. #8
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    Ever since Randy took over as Santa things haven't been the same.


  9. #9
    Lucky Luke


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    "If you're not part of the solution, you're the precipitate."

  10. #10
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  11. #11
    Simon
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    Just heard santa boosted up on M1t , so that should help him in is quest ... Maybe now its possible.
    When a goal is reached comes satisfaction . You're accomplished as a person when you surpass those goals .

  12. #12
    2 Samuel 24:24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chain Link
    I really hate to publicly back a christian idea, but Santa Claus is the most plausible thing that has come out of it.
    Santa is a Christian idea......
    Dude you need to do somw study..... and who the fuck asked you to come into a fun thread and start baggin out Christians....
    Fuck Off!!

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by simbh
    Just heard santa boosted up on M1t , so that should help him in is quest ... Maybe now its possible.
    Nope, just made things worse.


  14. #14
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    wow! so perfect!
    "If you're not part of the solution, you're the precipitate."

  15. #15
    Voodoo Doll
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    you don't get what you wish for ~ you get what you work for

    ...






  16. #16
    Lucky Luke


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    ewwwwww
    "If you're not part of the solution, you're the precipitate."

  17. #17
    Voodoo Doll
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    fine then if you all don't believe he'll have more time to spend at my house

    you don't get what you wish for ~ you get what you work for

    ...






  18. #18
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    Stop trying to highjack Santa Rocky ... let him eat your cookie and send him on his way

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rissole
    Santa is a Christian idea......
    Dude you need to do somw study..... and who the fuck asked you to come into a fun thread and start baggin out Christians....
    Fuck Off!!
    LOL, Rissole, I was j/k!
    Im really sorry if I offend, thats not how I intended it.

  20. #20
    2 Samuel 24:24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chain Link
    LOL, Rissole, I was j/k!
    Im really sorry if I offend, thats not how I intended it.
    It just seems like dudes are constantly havin a shot at Christians, any excuse anytime.... do we do that to others.... no..... sorry if i snapped but it's just really frustrating after a while, especially when its on a board that i like spending time on

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rissole
    It just seems like dudes are constantly havin a shot at Christians, any excuse anytime.... do we do that to others.... no..... sorry if i snapped but it's just really frustrating after a while, especially when its on a board that i like spending time on

    You snapped during xmas? This is a time of healing Ris. You better stop dieting if that is what your up to, it seems as though your estrogen levels are thru the roof as well.
    If sense were common, everyone would have it.

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  22. #22
    Voodoo Doll
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    Quote Originally Posted by BoneCrusher
    Stop trying to highjack Santa Rocky ... let him eat your cookie and send him on his way
    okay okay he ate his cookie n left..... the neighbors will be talking about all that screaming for years.

    you don't get what you wish for ~ you get what you work for

    ...






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