Have you ever asked your self why do we do this to our selves
AS sick as it sounds I was Sitting in the ER last night thinking about my next cycle and when getting back on track and getting back with Gopro and coming back even stronger bigger, harder and leaner. Why i got in to working out was for self protection and to give create such a strong exterior to hind the internal pain for no one to see. After the years it started to become obseesive and wanting more and more and here I am ...and will i do it again yes you bet..If I am going to die donig what i love and i will be damned if I am not going to die by sitting in a chair or being a vegetable. I told my parents if I ever become unable to function on my own SHOOT ME pull he plug and let me die with dignity.
I can certainly understand where you are comming from, but don't you think that you might be getting a little extensive? This is why bodybuilders are getting out of control with the roids, just to get bigger and better than the next guy until it completely fucks up there health.
You have definitely achieved a high standard in which you built your body, most of us will never come close to compare, but don't screw up your whole life over it.
If god were suddenly condemned to live the life which he has inflicted on man, he would kill himself. - Alexander Dumas (1802 - 1870)
*HUGS* and *KISS* honey, maybe you should start therapy.. I am going soon.. CBT to help me change my thinking patterns..
I agree a lot of people get into fitness to hide internal pain, or to try and overcome past eating/body image issues in a healthy way.. but then it passes into the unhealthy.. Dont worry sweetie please, you will be fine and hopefully living w lucky will be good for u dear
mentally my clarity is not sharp as I normally am. When your test levels are in the shitter from 900 natural to 200 that will make a major impact on well being and mental ability. From my expreince i have leaned how and what hormones work in our body and what effect they can have on several different disase. I have become well informed on IBS adrenal faliure and adrenal burn and what hormones trigger what and how low test levels trigger high cortisol levels which puts even more stress on adrenal glads. If you take a good long look alot of people here may be suffering from such a thing. this results in depression, and anxiety, constiaption, other digestive problems,
mentally I am very stable its just my concentration is off. new studys are showing that test replacement therapy has many other benefits other then preserving llean muscle mass as we age. It is also being used in altzhierms disaease as well. It amazing how the symptoms I have are that of what growing old is all about and makes me thank ful for actually expreinceing this now so it makes me more appreciate for what others take for granted
well we all know that body dysmorphic syndrome can get the best of you. Personally i have fallen a few times but manage to get up again.
Sit down and come up with what your reasons for competing are. If its simply for winning then you need to stop. If it is to make you feel better about yourself inside you will be reaching for a goal that is impossible. The only way to feel better is to build your inner body and mind not your physical being.
You are a giving and caring person and need to think about why you feel the need to get bigger and bigger at all costs. Heal yourself inside and you will begin to appreciate the amazing physique you currently have.
What we have is a sickness but it can be tamed and managed. You have to want to live and enjoy life and become a person who likes to workout rather than become the dead weight itself. Ultimately it will drive you to the ground and have to stop now before the drugs completely take over.
We are all here to support you and help you get through this.
I know that your not my trainer because your a huge ripped man, its because you care and want me to succeed naturally.
j'bo all of my freinds have gone through this withdrawl and they said it just temperory and suggested just get back levels back up and continue where I left off. Thats what I they would do but I want to get my levels back in ck naturally and then decide if I want o continue. Low test levels affect people differently. My body is very sensitive to changes that why I never needed large amounts of drugs and refuse to use that amount as well. Highest I have been was may be 800 mgs combines and if you ask any one on national level they snicker at that. Thats why I decided to go with GOpro to learn body building naturally where I can apply the same principles to my self so i can reduce the amt even more. all of this stems from 2 things 1. STRESS FROM LIFE AND JOB 2. Did not do post cycle therapy like I should have and when the 2 combined it sent me for a loop . Meaning what a ormal person would feel it wouild be amplified 10 times,. Also the doctors where looking at the wrong thing and caused the dehydration from all the laxatives they gave me to offset constipation which was caused from stress from high cortisol levels from low test on top of stress from life and work. I work wih you becuase I wanted to and will continue to work with you as long as you want me to. Once i bounce back this has been a learning expreince from me to share with other people. One of my freind told me this wouldhappen to him every time becuase he did not know. Well he was 215 and looked worse then I did and now from his mistakes able to maintain a 230 offseason body at 7-8% at 5'7 clean
I believe he has been.........or had at some point.
HAN, you're smarter than you're talking at the moment. You clearly aren't having a good day. If you have time, you need to take a vacation. Away from the gym, your job - just get out and clear your mind. "Fresh air" will do you some good.
Good luck HAN...we have all been there at one point or another. Nothing is ever good enough and there is the constant drive to achieve more. The problem is when it starts to come at the expense of your own personal health or your relationships with the people who care about you.
The way I always (try to) look at it is that if you're doing something that you know is bad for you and for the people around you, then stop it and get the f out. Set goals, but make sure they are positive ones that are going to bring you up and help you be an inspiration to yourself those who care about you, not the other way around. Ultimately the only person staring back at you from the mirror is you and that is the only person you have to make happy, or choose to make sad and hurt and lonely.
Just my Charlie Brown therapy. 5 cents please.
Today I can do what others will not so that tomorrow I will do what others cannot.
The difference between winners and losers is that winners do things that losers don't want to do.
Hey man, I know I have never really spoken to you before but I just wanted to say a few words. I can somewhat relate to the mindstate you are going through as of now. I personally have had somethings happen to me in the last year that have completely changed my life for the worse, and I know what its like to sit there and question things and to feel helpless, powerless, and unsure, believe me. So much so that I am a different person than I was b/c of the trauma and hardships. It sounds like you are at a similar point. Alot of my shit stemmed from a very unsuccessful cycle I ran so I know how it is. Think of it this way dogg, everything is a test in life. Its how you react and respond to difficult situations in life, thats what determines what kind of man you are inside. I have read enough of your posts to know that you are educated, you are intense, and you have love for this game, and you don't get to that level by being weakminded. Do what you have to do and you can get through whatever shit comes your way, its your mental capacity that determines your success IMO. Only the strong survive brotha. Hope this helps you man, and good luck.
You, my friend, need to reconsider what your values and priorities are. All the therapy in the world is not gonna help you with you thinking the way you are. now. You're as mentally healthy as any heroin junkie I've ever known. If you're not gonna reconsider your out look on your life you'll make a really muscular and lean corpse soon. Sorry, no group hug here. PM me if you wish to talk.