Hi, Michelle --
The unfortunate thing is that what "works" varies, from slightly to widely, from person to person -- and even in the same person, depending what you're doing.
And yes, if you want to look like a runner, all lean and wiry, you do need to train like one, unless you are one of those born bony. Runners, generally, also thrive better on a diet higher in carbs and lower in protein than those who focus on strength training. (At least, I did when I was doing a lot of distance running. When I took up lifting, without initially changing my diet, there was a certain amount of fat increase at first.)
HIIT cardio is a great option, too. Kicks butt, with the added bonus of not taking as long.
Looking at your diet, I'd say, since you aren't carb cycling and also aren't taking your calories down terribly low, that a refeed is probably unnecessary (although a weekly "cheat" or so might help with sanity and most likely wouldn't affect general progress). Atherjen's suggestion of dropping carbs in the last few meals on "off"-training days might be productive; it was for me, and isn't terribly painful. I've also found that a general lack of carbs in the final meal always seems to be a good idea for my bod.
When I tried the straight BFFM plan, I also gained some weight and bodyfat. (Which was not, at the time, a dreadful thing, as I put on some muscle as well.) After reading some John Berardi, I started separating carbs and fat ("play in separate rooms, boys!") and that had almost immediate positive results. My meals now are either a combination of protein and carbs, low-fat, or protein and fibrous carbs (green or low-cal veg) and high-fat -- so with the second sort, I'll have either a fatty protein (salmon, e.g.) or another source of essential fats.
For a sweet final meal, my current favourite is egg whites, beaten to a meringue with Splenda, and possibly drizzled with some Splenda-sweetened syrup. More complicated options include a kind of souffle-cake affair made of grated, drained zucchini or canned pumpkin, with the Splenda'd beaten whites folded in, and baked (a bit more bulk to these ones!) You can even simply microwave or scramble the whites and add the syrup, or a combo of Splenda and spices (eg cinnamon) and maybe a sprinkle of Butter Buds. I found this a bit too Spartan for my tastes, but then even in my extremity I am only here for the food. Or, of course, there's always sugar-free Jello. A rather pleasant thing to do with that is to mix the package up with the cup of boiling water, and let that stand to cool off a bit. Meanwhile, mix up a couple servings (whatever your serving is) of vanilla whey with cold water, and then stir into the Jello mix. Chill until set. Voila! two servings of creamy dessert-type protein stuff! Often separates into attractive layers, too.
