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Masturbating at WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  1. #1
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    Masturbating at WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






    Holly shit guys, im just gona tell you the story in short, (long story short), I am a private security officer only part time while i got to school, i work at the airport cheking cars and trucks for bombs and weapons, and also making sure that all the construction crews are not doing anything that they are not supposed to be doing, (becasuse TSA has a stricts security program) i work out of an Guard Shaq and sit there pretty much all day untill people comme thru the gate and i have to search them no matter homw many times they go in and out, anyways, the crew there dont like me much because they dont understand why i have to search their trucks every single time they go thru, after they pass into the secure side of the airport they have to wait for the big automatic gate to close completely untill they can drive off and many times they forget and drive right thru and away, and policy is NO TOLERANCE for anything like that so as soon they do that we have to call the tower and OPS/COPS has to take away their badges and send them to training again and in some cases even fire them, so they donty like me because i have to do my job and i have to do it right, and plus they are dirty stupid farmer construction workers and some of them called my boss and said that is was MASTURBATING AT WORK in the little guard shaq i was shoked when they told me that at the office and first i was laughing because it was so rediculos but then i got mad because that is so crazy and now im probobly gona be known as the jackoff guy my company agrees with me and the beleive me but they still have to investigate it, oh my god that is jsut so crazy i cant beleive that and i dont now why people would do anything like that im jsut doing my fucking job, but i guess its good practice for me because as a cop im gona be accused of doing shit that i didnt do many times, anyone has any other experiences like that?

  2. #2
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    Is masturbation legal in Utah?

  3. #3
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    Don't worry. I have been known to use punctuation in my sentences. Kind of like this! You know what I mean?
    Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
    not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
    and drag down the features of age,
    no folds or creases from unkempt wear
    eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
    no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
    but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012

  4. #4
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    Holy friggin run-on sentences, Batman.

  5. #5
    pedal pedal pedal
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    BTW, stop slapping your meat at work. There is a time and place for everything.

  6. #6
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    At least those rednecks are imaginative.....you didn't actually do it, right?
    The lions sing and the hills take flight.
    The moon by day, and the sun by night.
    Blind woman, deaf man, jackdaw fool.
    Let the Lord of Chaos rule.

  7. #7
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    lol i can't figure out the whole paragraph. funny anyway.

  8. #8
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    When i was at college a some kid was pounding his pud in his dorm room ... but he was caught on video through his window. He was so freaked he left school and never returned.

    I worked at a Denny's for about a month when I was 17, and got cought screwing a waitress in the men's room. Needless to say they refused to give me a good referance

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by BoneCrusher
    When i was at college a some kid was pounding his pud in his dorm room ... but he was caught on video through his window. He was so freaked he left school and never returned.

    I worked at a Denny's for about a month when I was 17, and got cought screwing a waitress in the men's room. Needless to say they refused to give me a good referance
    BC, clearly they were not impressed with your work habbits or your abilities. Did they at least fire her too?

    OD
    "Doc, If I had known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself..."

    Est unusquisque faber ipsae suae fortunae.

    We Americans scoff at the likes of African witch doctors yet spend 100's of millions of dollars on fake reducing systems.

    The only regular exercise he gets is stretching the truth.

    His intellect is not replenished, he is only an animal, only sensible in the duller parts...

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by BoneCrusher
    When i was at college a some kid was pounding his pud in his dorm room ... but he was caught on video through his window. He was so freaked he left school and never returned.
    And I haven't been the same, since! ......




    Quote Originally Posted by BoneCrusher
    I worked at a Denny's for about a month when I was 17, and got cought screwing a waiter in the men's room. Needless to say they refused to give me a good referance
    John H. feels your pain.
    The lions sing and the hills take flight.
    The moon by day, and the sun by night.
    Blind woman, deaf man, jackdaw fool.
    Let the Lord of Chaos rule.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by BoneCrusher
    I worked at a Denny's for about a month when I was 17, and got cought screwing a waitress in the men's room. Needless to say they refused to give me a good referance
    They told me they fired you because you failed to wash your hands when you returned to the kitchen to whip up some more Grand Slams.
    Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
    not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
    and drag down the features of age,
    no folds or creases from unkempt wear
    eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
    no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
    but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepper
    Is masturbation legal in Utah?
    is polygamy still legal there?





    IronMagLabs 15% Discount Code: Robert15



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  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robert DiMaggio
    is polygamy still legal there?
    Does that mean using both hands?

    Oh wait, that's bigamy...polygamy would be...hmm....
    Today I can do what others will not so that tomorrow I will do what others cannot.

    The difference between winners and losers is that winners do things that losers don't want to do.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by OceanDude
    BC, clearly they were not impressed with your work habbits or your abilities. Did they at least fire her too?

    OD
    Yup ... but we both had to finish out our shifts

  15. #15
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    Because everyone likes to bitch about how the man keeps them down dude.

  16. #16
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    That was the short version ? Wait till you get home to rub one out..

  17. #17
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    The moral of the story? Stop wacking off at work and nobody will report you.
    yay.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturday Fever
    The moral of the story? Stop wacking off at work and nobody will report you.

    Or don't get caught, which is my philosophy.
    If sense were common, everyone would have it.

    4/2007-Current 75th Ranked most popular image 1 spot behind Prince's bulge...

    Check out my world famous Bob Loblaw's Law Blog at http://www.synergyhw.blogspot.com/...Just kidding, it's a health and wellness blog.

  19. #19
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    hahahaahah, fuck you guys. I didn't do anythin like that man wtf???? that would be just not cool to do at work man and plus i have to be movin like ever 5-10 minutes or so and i never have time for stupid shit like that??? holly crap that is just sick. I am gona make their life a living hell at work, but im gona do it the legal way, im gona take more time to check ID's and search and when they need me for something ill take my sweetass time.....Damn how stupid can people get ?? Masturbating is not legal here but it sure isnt talked about becasue mormons are NOT supposed to do anything like that because they will got to hell, ( its a sin). So my boss was like, " i know this is really emberasing to you and us but........." and i told her right away that no its not embarasing talking about it becasue we are all adults anyway........

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by maniclion
    Don't worry. I have been known to use punctuation in my sentences. Kind of like this! You know what I mean?

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    "Our lives are not determined by what happens to us, but how we REACT to what happens; not by what life brings to us, but by the ATTITUDE we bring to life. A positive attitude causes a CHAIN REACTION of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst... a spark that creates EXTRAORDINARY RESULTS."

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by SPIKE1257
    Wait till you get home to rub one out..
    Even better!!
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA


    "Our lives are not determined by what happens to us, but how we REACT to what happens; not by what life brings to us, but by the ATTITUDE we bring to life. A positive attitude causes a CHAIN REACTION of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst... a spark that creates EXTRAORDINARY RESULTS."

  22. #22
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    QuestionGuy,
    How can you possibly pass any kind of academy tests? You can't even spell!! Do you talk the same way you type?

    Congrats for the good morals on the job, but DAYAMMMM! You need to take, retake, and then take again English 100

    "Our lives are not determined by what happens to us, but how we REACT to what happens; not by what life brings to us, but by the ATTITUDE we bring to life. A positive attitude causes a CHAIN REACTION of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst... a spark that creates EXTRAORDINARY RESULTS."

  23. #23
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    when you check their ID's and stuff just be sure to touch them alot, and put something sticky on your hands so it gets sticky when you hand them back out, chances are someone thinks you really do that. If it were me, chances are I was jacking off at work so...

  24. #24
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    Maybe your boss misinterpreted what the rednecks said when they called. They may have said "That jerk-off that works in the guard shack blah-zay blah"..., but since she's sweet on you so she pictured you "jerkin-off" and got crossed signals.
    Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
    not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
    and drag down the features of age,
    no folds or creases from unkempt wear
    eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
    no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
    but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by QuestionGuy
    hahahaahah, fuck you guys. I didn't do anythin like that man wtf???? that would be just not cool to do at work man and plus i have to be movin like ever 5-10 minutes or so and i never have time for stupid shit like that??? holly crap that is just sick. I am gona make their life a living hell at work, but im gona do it the legal way, im gona take more time to check ID's and search and when they need me for something ill take my sweetass time.....Damn how stupid can people get ?? Masturbating is not legal here but it sure isnt talked about becasue mormons are NOT supposed to do anything like that because they will got to hell, ( its a sin). So my boss was like, " i know this is really emberasing to you and us but........." and i told her right away that no its not embarasing talking about it becasue we are all adults anyway........
    Is this what you'd call hickonics? Kinda like ebonics?? Only for rednecks and hicks?
    Sheila Corl


  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky_Road
    Is this what you'd call hickonics? Kinda like ebonics?? Only for rednecks and hicks?
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

    "Our lives are not determined by what happens to us, but how we REACT to what happens; not by what life brings to us, but by the ATTITUDE we bring to life. A positive attitude causes a CHAIN REACTION of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst... a spark that creates EXTRAORDINARY RESULTS."

  27. #27
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    LOL its funny that i saw this thread, cuz like yesterday i decided to jack off at work...didnt get far, but hey...

  28. #28
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    i dont know people, im trying to have a serious confersation like mature adults here and some of you guys are acting dumb here, no im not using corect gramar because its internet talk and ot a test, so kiss of and thank you to the other people in here who understand.

  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by QuestionGuy
    i dont know people, im trying to have a serious confersation like mature adults here and some of you guys are acting dumb here, no im not using corect gramar because its internet talk and ot a test, so kiss of and thank you to the other people in here who understand.
    dude i was dead serious, i was working out at the gas station...little confined place, like a booth

    called petro...

  30. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by myCATpowerlifts
    LOL its funny that i saw this thread, cuz like yesterday i decided to jack off at work...didnt get far, but hey...
    lol that's pretty nasty cat

    the most public I've done it was while i was driving

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