• 🛑Hello, this board in now turned off and no new posting.
    Please REGISTER at Anabolic Steroid Forums, and become a member of our NEW community! 💪
  • 💪Muscle Gelz® 30% Off Easter Sale👉www.musclegelz.com Coupon code: EASTER30🐰

Liberals stopped from sneaking into Canada

madden player

I am Canadian
Registered
Joined
Jul 9, 2004
Messages
693
Reaction score
1
Points
0
Location
Canada
IML Gear Cream!
Subject: Canadians Sending Americans Back

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past couple of weeks, sparking calls for increased border patrols by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police to stop the illegal immigration.


The re-election of President Bush is prompting the exodus among left-leaning American citizens who fear they'll soon be required to be polite, respect others, hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly. Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of ACLU supporters, sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.


"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. "He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, ehh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk."

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves."A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have some nice Napa Valley cabernet, though."


When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR.


In the days since the election, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies. "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?"

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney said.
"We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The president Is determined to reach out."
 
If you want to be a GOOD Democrat, there are
some prerequisites you must have first. Compare the below and see how you rate.

1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of Chinese communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.

8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists from Seattle do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinmen are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.

16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge.

18. You have to believe Republicans telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.
 
cfs3 said:
If you want to be a GOOD Democrat, there are
some prerequisites you must have first. Compare the below and see how you rate.
I nominate this post for "IM Post of Year"
 
Pepper said:
I nominate this post for "IM Post of Year"


Not even close, the airing of the grievances will beat out this post eventually.
 
cfs3 said:
If you want to be a GOOD Democrat, there are
some prerequisites you must have first...
Hahaha, marvelous.
 
hu1k said:

News Flash: Kerry seceded. A recount is meaningless beyond public curiosity.


A concession speech is not legally binding.
 
IML Gear Cream!
jkhnwspec said:
A concession speech is not legally binding.
Haha, was he talking about selling hot dogs and nachos at Fenway?
 
I can't decide whether the liberals inability to accept that this country re-elected Bush is sad or funny. Honestly, it's both.

You lost...deal with it.
 
i saw Michael moore on Leno this monday. He actually held himself respectably. He even came shaved & in a suit :eek:

He's seems to have accepted it. But he's gotta have something up his sleave, it was a completely different Michael Moore. I was absolutely shocked by his manner.
 
Just a little op ed piece on prerequisites for being a good conservative:

25 Rules For Being A Good Republican

1) Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you
are millionaire conservative radio jock, which makes it an "illness"
and needs our prayers for "recovery."

2) You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve
success all on their own.

3) You have to be against government programs, but expect your
Social Security checks on time.

4) You have to believe that government should stay out of people's
private lives but it needs to punish anyone caught having sex with
the "wrong" gender.

5) You have to believe that pollution is ok, so long as it makes a
profit.

6) You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't
pray to Allah or Buddha.

7) You have to believe that only your own teenagers are still
virgins.

8) You have to believe that a woman cannot be trusted with decisions
about her own body, but that large multinational corporations can
make decisions affecting all mankind with no regulation whatsoever.


10) You hate the ACLU for representing convicted felons, but they
owed it to the country to bail out Oliver North.

11) You have to believe that it was wise to allow Ken Starr to spend
$50 million dollars to attack Clinton because no other U.S.
presidents have ever been unfaithful to their wives.

12) You have to believe that group sex is a degenerate sin that can
only be purged by running for governor of California as a
Republican.

13) You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out of schools,
because we all know if teenagers don't have condoms they won't have
sex.

14) You have to believe that the ACLU is bad because they defend the
Constitution, while the NRA is good because they defend the
Constitution.

15) You have to believe that government medicare is wrong and that
HMOs and insurance companies only have your best interests at heart.

16) You have to believe the AIDS virus is not important enough to
deserve federal funding proportionate to the resulting death rate
and that the public doesn't need to be educated about it, because if
we just ignore it, it will go away.

17) You have to believe that biology teachers are corrupting the
morals of 6th graders if they teach them the basics of human
sexuality, but the Bible, which is full of sex and violence, is just
good reading.

18) You have to believe that atheism is a religion but that
creationism is just good science.

19) You have to believe that Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed
him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when
Cheney was doing business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a
"we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

20) You have to believe that the lumber from the last one percent of
old growth U.S. forests is well worth the destruction of those
forests and the extinction of the several species of plants and
animals therein.

21) You believe that the public has "a right to know" about the
adulterous affairs of Democrats, while those of Republicans are a
"private matter".

22) You have to believe that the public has a right to know what the
government is doing but that Bush was right to censor those 28 pages
from the Congressional 9/11 report because you just can't handle the
truth.

23) You support state rights, which means Ashcroft telling states
what locally passed voter initiate he will allow them to have.

24) You have to believe that Aid to Mothers with Dependent children
is wasteful, but giving tax breaks to companies moving American jobs
overseas is just what government is for.

25) You have to believe that trade with Cuba is wrong because it is
communist, but trading with China and Vietnam is just dandy.
 
You know you are a conservative if you believe....

Because the media doesn't only report good stuff about conservatives, it is radically liberal.

People feel more comfortable knowing they are in the secure and caring hands of a gigantic profit-driven HMO.

Because Colin Powell's views on race, abortion, and other social problems are in line with most Americans, he is a radical leftist who must not be allowed into the Republican party.

smoking tobacco cigarettes is a harmless choice that adults should make for themselves without government involvement, but smoking marijuana cigarettes is a national crisis for which the government ought to imprison anyone caught doing so.

It is patriotic to renounce one's citizenship to avoid paying taxes, and anyone who doesn't think so is a socialist.

Any woman who wants equal pay,control over her own body or thinks for herself is a wacko feminist.

The Budget Deficit is the bigget problem facing America now, and the best way to get rid of it is to lower taxes so that the government takes in less money

The most persecuted group of people in all history are white, Christian males and it is about time they started to fight back against their oppressors

Vince Foster was personally murdered by Hillary Clinton because he knew too much about Whitewater, which is the biggest scandal in all of American History.

Because of the fact that David Koresh set his own home on fire, we live in a socialist police state.

Your AK-47 is the only thing keeping a tyrannical government from imprisoning millions of your fellow citizens in secret concentration camps

Forcing a rape victim to give birth to her rapist's child is a way to support good family values

All problems in America today can be directly traced to a 1962 Supreme Court decision to bar coerced state-sponsored prayer in public schools.

Ronald Reagan is single-handedly responsible for ending the Cold War.

Sex corrupts children's minds, but violence does not, as long as it is committed by Republican movie stars such as Arnold Schwartzeneggar and Bruce Willis.

A right wing dictator is better than a left wing dictator.

Big Companies create jobs. Without their benevolence, nobody would be able to work.

A good way to promote world peace is to withdraw from the U.N., dissolve GATT and NAFTA, and ban all immigration.

Peter Jennings, making several million dollars a year and heard by millions is a member of the Elite Liberal Media, but Rush Limbaugh, making several million dollars a year and heard by millions is A Man of the People.

Giving aid to the poor is bad for them, but giving aid to business is good for the economy.

Government regulations protecting clean drinking water and edible meat are Socialism and Interference in the Free Market, but subsidized mining, grazing, logging, and defense work is just Good Government.

Part of Getting Big Government Off Our Backs includes allowing said government to monitor all our electronic traffic on the Internet.

Because a tiny portion of the money the National Endowment for the Arts gave out went to "obscene" artists, the best solution is to just disband the whole thing.

Paying employees more money hurts the economy

Because America ranks very low among other countries in education, the best solution is to weaken the public schools.

Commerical television is responsible for attacking morality and pandering to the base emotions, therefore, we must eliminate the only alternative, PBS.

Family planning, which cuts down on the number of unwanted pregnancies without abortion, must be eliminated so that there will be less abortions.

It is good for the economy when major corporations fire large chunks of their work force.

Pat Buchanan, millionaire, media star, Mercedes owner, is a populist who understands what the common man wants.

The best qualification for being President is to have never held any office, to hate Washington, and to be really rich.

The United States should stay out of Bosnia because we are not the world policeman and Bosnia doesn't have any oil.

This would be a safer place to live if more citizens had more guns.

Paying government employees not to work is helping to balance the budget.
 
You know you're a democrat when you leave the country when you don't get your way :bawling:
 
That's what I'm wating for. All those liberals who threatened to leave if George W. Bush got relected to make good.

He won, now leave.
 
busyLivin said:
i've gotta get her book, "How to talk to a liberal"

..that was her book, right?
Yeah, I am reading it...two favorite quotes:

"The best way to win over a liberal is to convince them to move out of their parent's house, get a job and pay taxes."

"In the American President, Andrew Shepherd was what Bill Clinton wanted to be: thin, attractive, liberal . . . and a widower" :lol:
 
You guys are too much :hehe:
 
cfs3 said:
If you want to be a GOOD Democrat, there are
some prerequisites you must have first. Compare the below and see how you rate.

1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of Chinese communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.

8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists from Seattle do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinmen are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.

16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge.

18. You have to believe Republicans telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.
I love you man!:thumb:
 
cfs3 said:
Feminine power = hating men with a passion, but doing your best to look and act like them. :crazy:
You are the Man!
 
Back
Top