masturbate for peace

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  1. #1
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    min0 lee's Avatar

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    Oct 2004
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    masturbate for peace

    War won’t work, circle jerk!
    Don't be a hater, use your vibrator
    A whack in the morning keeps anger from soaring.
    Don't pull that grenade pin, stoke your bifkin
    Agree with Chirac? Finger your crack.
    As war clouds thicken, choke your chicken.
    Avoid a scuffle with the 5-knuckle shuffle.
    Peace is power, fiddle with your flower.
    Beat your item, stop the fightin'.
    Tickle your dome ‘til the boys come home.
    Bush is a chump - finger your rump.
    Bust a nut, not a cap!
    Cleaning up the world, one tissue at a time.
    Cum stains, not blood stains.
    Death makes us mourn, get off to porn.
    Do unto yourself, not unto others.
    Dolphins are for flogging, not recon.
    Don't be a meanie, just stroke your weinie!
    Don’t be a shooter, play with your cooter
    Don't be a thug, just have a quick chug!
    Don't be a tool of the man - man your tool!
    Don't be mean, use Vaseline!
    Don't believe the lies, squeeze your inner thighs
    Don't defeat, use your meat
    Don’t dig holes, stroke your poles
    Don't feel hate ejaculate
    Don’t fight for gas, finger your ass
    Don't fight for gasoline, use your Vaseline!
    Don't fight, shoot the white!
    Don't fuck Afghanis, wet your panties.
    Don’t get pissed, bury your fist.
    Don’t hate Saddam, play with your yam.
    Don't hate, self fellate
    Don’t invade by land, invade yourself by hand.
    Don't invade just get laid
    Don't join the army, slap the salami!
    Don’t join the navy, play with davey!
    Don't let war linger, give Bush the finger
    Don't listen to Powell, jizz on a towell
    Don’t play god stroke your rod
    Don't prick your finger, finger your prick!
    Don’t raid his palace, stroke your falice
    Don't shoot, play the skin flute
    Cum swell on Rumsfeld.
    Don't Spill Blood So War Will Cease, Spunk A Load And Bring The Peace
    Don't spill blood, pound your pud
    Don't support Bush, spank someone's tush!
    Don't Use Poison Gas, Finger Your Ass
    Don’t be a country wrecker, tug your pecker
    Don’t be a meany, touch your weany
    Don’t blame france jizz your pants
    Don’t cock your rifle.... rifle your cock
    Don’t go to bed and dream of hate, stay up late and masturbate!!
    Don’t make war a habit, stroke the rabbit
    Drop a load - not a bomb
    Drop pants not bombs
    Drop the gun, have some anal fun
    Drop your gun, tuggin’s fun.
    Exercise your right arm not your right to bear arms
    Fap for freedom
    Fire a Missile...of love
    Forget American hedgemoney, get in my pot & stir the honey.
    Forget Baghdad, Empty Your Dad-Bag!
    Forget Iraq, have a jack
    Forget Saddam, just use your palm
    Forget the tank, yank your plank
    Forget the war, just stroke your oar
    Fuck war, then yourself
    Get blinded by Fun, not Guns!
    Give peace a chance go down your pants
    Give peace a chance, wax your lance
    Give the fighting a break, pet your trouser snake
    Give war a rest, cum on your chest
    Hairy palms, not scary bombs
    Hate to war mong love to use your dong
    Hone your bone in the demilitarized zone!
    I'd rather have cum on my hand than blood on my hands
    I'm a peace hoochie, rubbin my coochie
    I'm pulling for peace in the Middle East
    I cock my gun for peace
    I love the smell of mypalm in the morning.
    I mean no harm, except to my arm
    I support love puddles, not blood puddles
    If only our leaders would squeeze their peters!
    If war makes you pout, rub one out
    If war was school play hookie, Stay at home and stroke your wookie
    If you stroke it, war won't cum...
    Inspect your own chemical sites
    It’s your civic duty to fondle your booty
    Jerk your weasel, don't fight for diesel
    Jiszm Heals All Schisms
    Kill kittens, not Iraqis.
    Killing's wrong! Squeeze your dong!
    KY is the only petroleum worth fighting for!
    Let's balm ourselves!
    Play with your thing to let freedom ring.
    Let the middle east be, play with mini-me
    Let your penis roar, and stop the war
    Lick your fingers and fire not stingers
    Lube the toys, Don't send the boys
    Lubrication, not blown-up Nation!
    Make it rain cum not blood
    Make it rain cum not blood
    Make the one eyed weezal cry not a victum
    Make war fail, leave a snail trail
    Massage your head, befor there all dead!
    Masturbate in groups to bring back our troops
    Masturbate, don’t detinate
    Masturbation is the Fad, not bombing Baghdad!
    Enemas not enemies
    Mushroom heads, not mushroom clouds.
    Mutual masturbation not mutual anihilation
    No bullets to the head, wack-off in the tool shed
    No more coffins, Flog your dolphins!
    No need to mourn, just polish your horn
    No surface to air missiles, just a fist full of jizzles
    Not in my name, in my palm
    Nut in her eye so that warplanes don't fly
    One if by land, two if by sea, lay down your arms, stroke your pee-pee
    oorlog is flauwekul - trek liever aan je lul
    Peace calls teabag your balls
    Peace is cuter, touch your cooter
    Peace Is In The Palm Of My Hand
    Peace is kickin', choke your chicken! Peace is funky, spank your monkey!
    War ain’t workin', jerk your gherkin!
    Peace is sweet, grill your meat.
    Peace will succeed hands down.
    Personal release - do it for peace!
    Play with your breast ( o )( o ) so men wont get shot in the chest!
    Play with your penis, let peace be between us.
    Protect our land, use your hand
    Protect the nation through self-stimulation!!!!
    Prune a Bush -- don't elect one!
    Pull out your cock, not your rifle.
    Punish your beast not the middle east
    Put down the bombs and raise your palms
    Quit the combat, stroke your wombat!
    Saddam Might Buckle If You Bury It To The Knuckle!!
    Save a soul, finger your hole
    Saving the world, one Kleenex at a time.
    Say NO to scud missiles, YES to smut pixels!
    scheuz den kasper, nicht in basra
    Search for white gold, not black.
    Shoot your jizz, not Tariq Aziz.
    Shoot your wad, fuck jihad
    Side with France, unzip your pants
    Take a stand, fuck your hand
    Slam the ham, not Saddam
    Slam your cock, not Iraq!
    Slap the salami, not Saddam-i!
    Slap your ham for Uncle Sam!!
    Smack your fanny don’t kill afghanies
    Spank your monkeys, Not other countries
    Spit in your hand, don't bomb Iran!!
    Stain your clothes with cum, NOT BLOOD!
    Stop Bombs From Tickin', Choke Your Chicken!
    Stop the fire, twist your wire
    Stop the pain make a stain
    Stop world collapse - caress your flaps
    Stroke banana cream pie, and no one will die
    Stroke your grass, don't kick their ass
    Stroking our cocks, keeps us out of a pine box
    Take a j for peace today
    The bombs won't be quakin' if you grease your bacon
    The time has come for us to resist, so drop your pants and hump your fist
    The willie's willin', stop the killin'
    There's enough vaseline to go around, don't start a war
    Things aren't as bad as they seem, when your shootin' your cream
    This world is going down the tubes, lick your own boobs!
    Tickle your clit, the world will benefit!
    To hell with this killin’ - take time for some jillin'
    To make the world great you need to masturbate!
    To save ourselves from World War Three, masturbate in unity!
    To the hell with operation desert blizzard, we'd better just milk the lizard
    To Win Against Dubya, Get Down and Rubya
    Toss yourself - not bombs
    Touch it right prevent a fight.
    Tug your pud for the greater good
    Use a Sock, Not a Tomahawk
    Viagra - the only chemical for your weapon
    War's a shock, play with your cock.
    War's enough pet your muff
    War's no good. Touch your wood
    War - Let's Spare It... Cuff Your Carrot
    War is a sham, shake your lamb!
    War is an affront, tickle your cunt
    War is corny, I'd rather be horny
    War is crude- stock up on lube
    War is daft, stroke your shaft
    War is dumb, squirt some cum
    War is fake, ice the cake!
    War is icky, stroke your dicky
    War is not funny, pat your bunny
    War is not grand, use your hand
    War is old fashioned, jerk it with passion!
    War is phony, grease your pony
    War is rough, finger your muff.
    War is shitty, rub your titties
    War is sick, grab your dick.
    War is sickly, rub it quickly!
    War is trash...grease up your gash!
    War is uncanny, tickle your fanny
    War is vile - so, ourselves we'll defile!
    War is vulgar, flick your vulva
    War should end, help jerk a friend.
    War sucks so pet the ducks!
    War sucks, pound your nuts.
    WAR: Stroke it, don't provoke it
    Whack your vein, not Hussein!
    When feeling mad, beat your chad.
    When you jerk it tonight, keep peace in sight.
    When your country calls, play with your balls
    When your heart gets that flutter, whip it out and stroke that putter
    Why attack, when you can whack?
    Why fight a war, when you can masturbate over a whore
    Why lose your head, when you can splooge in bed
    With a slick dick cums peace quick!
    Your gun kills, my gun spills
    Name: shoot to spill not to kill
    Stroke your donger, don't be a warmonger
    War is hell, ride your swell
    Save a (navy) seal, get wet for peace
    A blue pill and lotion can stop the commotion
    A fight isn't worth pickin', choke your chicken
    Abort the mission, choke your chicken
    All we are saying is give pants a cheese
    Attack your crack, not Iraq!!
    Be a masturbator, not an instigator
    Beat war one jerk at a time
    Beat war with your meat
    Beat ‘til you’re sore, don’t declare war.
    Blow in your hand, not a foreign land.
    Blow off some steam, release your cream.
    Blow Your Load Before Bombs Explode
    Bomb a rag, not Baghdad
    Boycott war, self explore.
    Bush's a dorkus. Pump yer porpoise.
    Bush and Dick!?! It's better to jack off!
    Climax - not anthrax.
    Control your anger... pluck your twanger!
    Cream of Meat: The peaceful solution
    Creating world peace, one stain at a time
    Cum in hand, not gun inhand!
    Don't be lazy, beat it like crazy!
    Don't be the meanest, just tuch your penis
    Don't enlist, use your wrist
    Don’t exert force, throttle your horse.
    Don't flex your pex, have solo sex!
    Don’t go into a foxhole , just stroke your pole.
    Don't hate, vibrate!
    Don’t have a fit, finger your clit.
    Don't invade foreign land, work that gland.....BIOTCH!!
    Don't Let Your Country Down Cum On Everybody Punch Your Clown
    Don't Prolifirate - Masturbate!
    Don't scream and shout, rub one out!
    Don't spill foreign blood, whack your pud
    Don't spread terror, be a cock ring barer!
    Don't start a disaster play with your master
    Don’t submit, play with your clit
    Don't sweat the petty stuff, pet the sweaty stuff
    Don’t use a cleaver play with your beaver!
    Don’t back war, just play with your sack more
    Don’t bomb china, finger your vagina
    Don’t discriminate, ejaculate.
    Don’t drop a nuke, make your dick puke
    Don’t fight, But beat all night.
    don’t get pissed, finger your clitor-is
    Don’t invade Iraq, Whack Jack!
    Don’t let war hit, Just grab your tit
    don’t use guns, spread your own buns.
    Ending middle-east funk with my spunk
    Explode in your face, not another race!
    fo' shizzle, I'd rather drizzle than go and kizzle
    Forget boot camp, make yourself damp
    Forget Poison Gas, Finger Your ass
    Forget the body armor be a self harmer
    Forget the war be a self whore
    Genitals for gentleness.
    Get head, not dead.
    Give peace a chance, put your hand in your pants!
    Give peace a try, drain yourself dry
    Give peace the nod, spank your rod!
    Give war, and yourself, the middle finger
    Hard Cocks not hard Targets!
    I'm a professional whacker....not a hijacker
    I’ve got the whole world's piece, in my hands...
    I fire my 1 millimeter
    I will shoot all my juice to stop war's abuse!
    If I only have one load to give, let me give it for peace!
    If you really want peace for the Red, White and Blue, make less guns, and more goo
    Ignore the bull, give it a pull
    Imagine Peace (of Ass!)
    Instead of filling coffins, flog your dolphins.
    Instead of Saddam, I’ll battle my palm
    It's the world's loss if you don't toss
    It’s your fate, masturbate!
    Jack Z. Johnson for President
    Jiggle your sac for Iraq
    Jizm, not terrorism
    Join the tug of war
    Just fondle your balls when draft day calls
    Just say "No sir" while polishing the gopher.
    Just touch it
    Keep it greased for the Middle East
    Keep it neat,beat your meat
    Keep the peace, rub your fleece
    Ladies flick your bean, to stop the war machine!
    Lay the seeds of peace in your hand
    Laying the seeds for peace
    Leave the guns on the shelf, play with yourself.
    Less Tanks, More Spanks
    Let your hands do the the talking
    Lovin' Arabia by rubbin my labia
    Lovingly massage what is between your thighs, to save all our soldiers lives.
    Make a point, stroke your joint!
    Make it straight to fight the hate
    My hands are stained white with peace.
    My palms are hairy 'cause war is scary.
    My palms get hairy when the world gets scary
    No more battle, Give it a rattle!
    No more malice, stroke your phallus
    On world peace's behalf, i'll stroke the giraffe
    Onanism, Not Imperialism
    Our wrists are sore for no more war!
    Peace is coming and so should you!
    Peace is great, so mastubate!
    Pocket rockets instead of military dockets
    Protect your nation withmasturbation!
    Protesting while Porn-testing
    Pullin the anaconda for peace in Rhwanda
    Put a sock on it
    Put down that thang and stroke your wang
    Put down the gun, touching your wiener is more fun
    Put up the white flag and flag your up white
    Put war to a final rest, shoot your goo all over your chest!
    Raise your cocks, fellow Americans and give the world peaceful dick-tation.
    Rock Out with your cock out, Hang out with your wang out-Go Peace!
    Rub one out, not the whole world
    Saluting world peace by tuggin with grease
    Save our troops by shooting yours!
    Say no to war, stroke it till it's sore
    Self abuse in hopes for a truce
    Self love for the white dove
    Self Rape, Instead of Self Hate, HOLY SIHT LETS MASTURBATE!
    Semen cleans off hands more easily than does blood.
    Shine your knob, Not your boots.
    Shoot it in your eye, if you don't want to die.
    Shoot your cum, war is dumb.
    Shoot your goop not a troop
    Shoot your load, don't let the bombs explode
    Shoot your load, not your gun
    Slam your pee-er, not Korea
    Slap Salami, Not Sadami
    Smack the baboon ,make peace cum soon
    Sore wrists, not iron fists
    Strangle Kojak, Not IRAQ
    Start a disaster, yank it faster
    Stop packin' and start whackin'
    Stop the killin’, start the spillin’!
    Stop the war in motion, stroke it with lotion!
    Stop the war, masturbate more.
    Stroke your member on the 17th of November (World Peace Day)
    Stroke your war head!
    Support the UN, masturbate again
    The only good suicide bomb lands in a Kleenex.
    The only gun I own is between my legs
    The only rockets we should be setting off are our own.
    the strong wrist of a true peace activist
    The war is a fraud so I am gonna shoot my wad.
    There’s no war when your a whore
    This war's not workin’, better jerk your gherkin, peace is your job, polish your knob.
    To make Iraq free, spank the monkey
    Toss your rocks, not a grenade.
    Touch your gine for mankind.
    Help Uncle Sam, tug your ham.
    United we stand like the dick in my hand
    Unload your stock not your glock
    Use your anger, yank your wanker.
    Use your wrist, not your fist
    Wank for peace: the sweet release!
    War's not safe, jerk till you chafe
    War's the Issue, So Grab a Tissue
    War costs money, dabble in your honey.
    War is a stinker, thumb your sphincter.
    War is a waste, make some human paste.
    War is bad grab your nad.
    War is bad, masturbate and be glad
    War is dumb sit on your thumb!
    War is for fools, masturbation rules.
    War is for half-wits, polish your clits
    War is Hell, Ring your bells
    War is icky, make your pants sticky
    War is queer, thumb your rear.
    War is whack, fondle your crack.
    War is wrong , beat your dong!
    War is wrong, play with your dong.
    War isn't what we need, plant your seed!
    War is for wussies. play with your pussies.
    Waste semen, not sea men.
    We shall over cum!
    Weapons of mass eruption.
    Whack your gadget and burry the hatchet.
    When it gets hot, rub your twat.
    World peace is within our grasp!
    Beat the meat to sound a retreat.
    Help Hans Blix - whack your dicks

    War's not cool, school your tool

    Peace is good -- pull back your hood

    Don't listen to Blair, play with your pubic hair

    Don't bomb cities, pet your kitties

    War is dumb thumb your bum

    Slap your tool, don't fight for fuel

    Rub your snake for peace's sake

    My 'friendly fire' harms no-one

    Jill it, don't kill it

    War is unpleasant, tickle your pheasant

    Don't cross the ocean, just grab some lotion

    Don't attack - play with Jack

    For peace to work, you need to jerk

    Give your Bush the finger!

    Peace is cool, pull your tool

    Fire your Peter, not your 8 millimeter

    Better Head than Dead

    Spread your flower's power

    My pussy doesn't meow, it roars -- for peace.

    Wank, Spank, Stop that Tank

    Don't enlist, use your fist!

    Semen cleans off of hands easier than blood

    War is dumb, beat yourself numb

    Cock custard, not gas (mustard)!

    Peace is the goal, stroke your pole

    Peace: a stroke of genius

    We won't reach peace until you release

    Bury your fingers, not bodies

    Shizzle your nizzle, don't kizzle the pizzle. Yo.

    Fight for good, beat your wood

    Don't flaunt your power--prune your flower

    Peace is right, grip it tight

    Attack your crack, not Iraq!

    Stop human loss, give yourself a toss

    Ignore Bush's war calls, play with your balls

    Three times a day keeps war at bay

    Stop the hurt, let it spurt

    Ban war, jerk some more

    If you pound it, peace will come

    Give bush the finger

    War's a dud, pound your pud

    Don't be Bush's flunky, spank your monkey

    War is sick, play with your dick

    Peace rocks, whack your cocks!

    Service your rod, not your rifle

    Put your guns on your shelf, go fuck yourself

    Stop the war, I want to get off

    War is evil, wank your weasel

    What if they gave a war, but instead everyone came?

    Smack your Jack, not Iraq!

    Don't grease the war machine, do yourself with Vaseline

    Save Our Soldiers, Touch Your Privates

    Let your wood do some good

    I'm frigging against this war

    Ring your bell. Stop this hell

    Jack Mehoff for President

    Grease your cukes to stop the nukes

    War's funky, spank your monkey

    Pound Penises Into Plowshares

    Beat your little man, not Afghanistan

    War's not the only way to soothe an agitated bush.

    Don't flatten Iraq, just strangle Kojak

    There's no time for war if you yank 'til you're sore

    Save our nation through masturbation

    Don't Wag the Dog, Flog the Log

    Don't send troops to die, give masturbation a try

    War can wait, masturbate!

    If you don't want to die, hump a pie

    Vibrate don't annihilate

    If you don't stroke it who will

    War is fickle, tickle your pickle

    Who wants to mourn? Jerk of to net-porn!

    If we can't screw ourselves, we're all screwed

    Onanism, not pugilism!

    Harry Palms for President!

    Forget war, be a self whore!

    My patriot missile explodes for peace

    A hot hand on a cold night, not a cold knife in a hot fight

    War isn't cool, flog your mule.

    Blue Balls=War

    No military rank comes close to a wank

    Forget Jihad, shoot your wad

    A stroke a day keeps the bombs away

    Enough with rancor, yank your wanker

    Pull your plum and peace will come

    Violence ain't workin', try jerkin' your Gherkin

    I'd rather spill than kill

    Finger your crack - not Iraq

    Don't have a fit, rub your clit

    Stab your clam.... not Saddam!

    No need to hurt when you can squirt!

    Punch the clown... Not the enemy!

    Hairy palms not cluster bombs
    Pocket pool for peace
    Give war the finger
    Semper Fi, self-gratify
    If your semen is a spillin', there won't be time for any killin'!
    Lay a hand on yourself before laying a hand on others
    War is out pound your trout
    Pull your cock not a glock
    Self-guided muscles not missiles
    Send your little troops into your hand, not a foreign land
    All we are saying, is give peace a wank
    Don't Fire - Pull Your Wire
    Pull together for peace
    Abuse your middle piece, not the Middle East
    Self-Love Not War
    More head less dead
    No missiles in the sky, self-gratify
    Touch your sack, not Iraq
    Put Your Fingers In Yourself, Not On A Trigger
    My bush doesn't declare war
    Suppose they gave a war and everybody came instead
    One cum a day keeps war away
    Pull Puds, Not Scuds
    Rub Your Wombat If You Hate Combat
    Be a healer spank your weiner
    Beat your meat, not your enemy
    Choke your chicken, not your enemy
    Be kind - make yourself blind
    Let's beat violence together
    Peace won't work unless you jerk.
    Peace is but a few strokes away
    Stroke your piece for peace
    Spill Your Seed, Not Blood
    Shoot nothing but your wad
    Slap the salami, not Saddam-i!
    More Wanks, Less Tanks
    We've got the whole world in our hands....
    Contributing to peace 1 oz. at a time.
    Whack, don't attack!
    Don't hate, masturbate
    If You Must Follow An "ism", Make It ONANISM
    Solve global issues with a tissue
    World peace is at hand
    If you can still read this, you aren't masturbating enough
    Gism Activism
    Be a peacebringer with one or more fingers!
    No arms for war, just hands for peace
    War can wait, masturbate!
    Forget smart bombs, use both arms!
    Hairy palms against dropping bombs
    All we are saying is - give self love a chance!
    All We Are Saying Is Give Peace A Hand
    Halt the meanness with your penis!
    Don't Sweat the Petty Stuff, Pet the Sweaty Stuff
    Blow up dolls, not people!
    Forget Iraq... Stay Home and Whack
    Spank Dick & Bush For Peace!!!!
    War's no joke, stop and stroke!
    Make stains, not war
    Peace is Coming ... and Coming
    Peace is in your hands
    Beat your meat, not your neighbor
    Rub out hate!
    Shoot loads not guns

    Pound your pud for peace

    Friction prevents friction

    Rosie Palms for Prez

    Rockets are for polishing, not for killing

    Bust a nut, not a cap

    Stroke a load for peace

    I love the smell of semen in the morning!

    Leave the navy home, let semen go to war

    There's no time for war if your meat is too sore!

    Wouldn't you rather be masturbating?

    Jizin' against Jihad

    The only war I'll wage is the one on Blue Balls

    I cum in peace

    Masturbate before it's too late

    Give peace a chance, to explode in your pants.

    Right-hand for peace

    Sperm warfare, not germ warfare!

    Atomic orgasms, not nuclear winter!

    Choke your Chicken, Not your Neighbor

    Bust nuts not skulls

    Cum together in peace

    Touch the world while touching yourself

  2. #2
    Lift or Die
    BoneCrusher's Avatar

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    Next time break out the long list ... this lil short one was too easy to read through.

    "Don't flatten Iraq, just strangle Kojak" ...

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    min0 lee's Avatar

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  4. #4
    Bohemian Extraordinaire
    maniclion's Avatar

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    Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
    not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
    and drag down the features of age,
    no folds or creases from unkempt wear
    eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
    no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
    but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012

  5. #5
    this is why I'm hot!
    b_reed23's Avatar

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    Bust a nut, not a cap
    Give peace a chance, to explode in your pants
    Bust nuts not skulls

  6. #6
    Registered User
    bigss75's Avatar

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    I whole heartly hope you didnt sit and write everyone of those. They were pretty funny.

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