******** THE OFFICIAL PENIS PRODUCT LIST ********

The Nuprin Penis: Little, Yellow, Different.

The Equal Penis: Tastes like Sugar.

The Raid Penis: Kills bugs dead.

The Excedrin Penis: It's tthhhhiiiiiiissss big.

The Sprite Penis: Image is nothing... Taste is everything.

The Snickers Penis: It satisfies you.

The Alkaseltzer Penis: Pop, pop, fizz, fizz... Oh, what a relief it is...

The Magnavox Penis: Smart. Very Smart.

The Life Alert Penis: It's fallen and it can't get up.

The American Express Penis: Don't leave home without it.

The Tootsie Roll Pop Penis: How many licks DOES it take...?

The Pringles penis: once you pop, you can't stop

The m&m penis: melts in your mouth, not in your hand

The frosted flakes penis: They're GGGRRRRRREEEEAAAAATTT!

The lucky charms penis: They're magically delicious

The Energizer penis: it keeps going and going

The right guard penis: anything less is uncivilized

The jolly green *giant* penis: self-explanatory

The Cambells soup penis: mmm mmm good

the kix penis: kid tested, mother approved.

the mcdonald's penis: over 8 billion served.

the tombstone penis: what would you like on your penis?

the ragu penis: comes out chunkier than the rest.

the chips ahoy penis: betcha bite a chip. (huh?)

the cobain penis: it blows itself away.

the allstate penis: you're in good hands.

the 7-up penis: the UN-penis.

the nike penis: just do it.

the borden penis: it's GOT to be good.

the barq's penis: the one with bite.

the beef penis: it's what's for dinner.

the bud lite penis: great taste, less filling.

the subway penis: where fresh is the taste.

the kentucky fried chicken penis: everybody needs a little.

the life penis: mikey likes it.

the transformers penis: it's more than meets the eye.

the twizzler penis: it makes mouths happy.

the nintendo penis: now you're playing with power.

the sega penis: PENIS!

the robitussin penis: used by nine out of ten moms.

the crest penis: recommended by 3 out of 4 dentists.

the champion penis: the official penis of the '96 u.s.a. olympic team.

the starburst penis: the juice is loose.

the toyota penis: i love what you do for me.

the THX penis: Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

the citibank visa penis: it's everywhere you want to be.

the timex penis: takes a lickin and keeps on.......

burger king penis: have it your way

dairy queen penis: hot eats, cool treats (we treat you right)

McDonald's penis ][: HAve you had your break today?

the army penis: be all that you can be.

the uncle sam penis: we want you.

the milk penis: it does a body good. (got penis?)

the flintstone's vitamins penis: 10 million strong and growing

the wendy's penis: where's the beef?

the wizard of oz penis: "oh my!"

The Captain Planet penis: Go PENIS!!

The Folger's Crystals Penis: It's freeze dried to seal in the
freshness. AND--the best part of wakin up is a penis in your cup.

The Lays penis: Betcha can't eat just one.

The Mr. Clean penis: Is it wet or is it dry?

The Diet Coke penis: Just for the taste of it...

the doublemint penis: chewing really satisfies.

the juicyfruit penis: the taste is gonna move ya.

the big red penis: it's longer with big red.

the matthew sweet penis: 100% fun.

The neon penis: Hi.

The little caesar's penis: Penis!! Penis!! or Pleaser! Pleaser!

the generic penis: one size fits all.

the rave music penis: Ya'll ready for this?

the mortal kombat penis: nothing can prepare you.

The Bounty Penis: The quicker picker-upper.

The Pizza Hut penis: Makin' it great.

The Bounce Penis: With Static-Guard!

the domino's pizza penis: delivers in 30 min or less

the budweiser penis: this bud's for you

the siskel & ebert penis: 2 thumbs up...

the george of the jungle penis: watch out for
that.......tree?

the nyquil penis: the nighttime coughing, sneezing, runny-nose,
itching, burning, so you can rest penis.

The rice krispies penis: what does your penis say to you?

The Extra penis: lasts an extra extra extra long time

Wonder bubbles penis: Magic wand inside!

Wonder bubbles penis II: for ages 3 and up

The Phantom of the Opera penis: Music of the night

The Charmin penis: Don't squeeze the penis!

The Sears penis: Come see the brighter side.

The C&C music factory penis: Makes you go hmmmmm...

The Rick James penis: It's SUPERFREAKY.

The Gilette penis: The best a man can get.

The Charmin double roll penis: It lasts longer because it IS longer.

the bacardi penis: taste the feeling.

the macintosh penis: power is everything.

the borg penis: resistance is futile.

the edge shaving cream penis: ultimate closeness, ultimate comfort.

the beatles penis: now a quarter smaller than it used to be.

the oasis penis: thinks it's the beatles penis.

the jell-o penis: look at it wiggle, look at it jiggle.

the virginia slims penis: you've come a long way, baby.

the at&t penis: reach out and touch someone.

the secret penis: strong enough for a man, ph balanced for a woman.

The Sanka Penis: Good to the last drop

The swiss miss penis: the taste you can enjoy anytime, anywhere!

The Payday Penis: Its almost totally nuts!

The yellow pages penis: Let your fingers do the walkin.

The Sony play station penis: You are not ready.

the heinz penis: good things come to those who wait.

the Reese's penis: How do you eat your Reese's?

The Life Savers penis: Five fruity flavors.

The Star Wars penis: Use the Force, Luke!

The Invasion of the Body Snatchers penis: "They're here already!
You're next... YOU'RE NEXT!"

The War of the Worlds penis: "The time came when the Martians looked
upon our penis with envious eyes, and slowly but surely turned their
plans against us."

The Windows '95 penis: If you ask it to do too much, it'll crash.

The Kenny Rodgers penis: Very very hairy.

The Rush Limbaugh penis: Bald and fat.

The Janet Jackson Penis: What Have You Done For ME Lately?
The Micheal Jackson Penis: "Beat it?"

The Chevy Truck Penis: Like a rock!

The Mazda Penis: It just feels right.

THE FORD PENIS: BUILT FORD TOUGH

THE BUTTERFINGER PENIS: NO BODY BETTER LAY A FINGER ON MY PENIS

THE EgGO PENIS: LEGGO MY PENIS

The WSU Penis: It really is something special.