The Consumption of Alcohol...

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  1. #1
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    lioness's Avatar


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    The Consumption of Alcohol...






    NEW Alcohol Warnings- Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:


    WARNING
    The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

    WARNING
    The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

    WARNING
    The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

    WARNING
    The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

    WARNING
    The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

    WARNING
    The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

    WARNING
    The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

    WARNING
    The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

    Warning
    The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

    WARNING
    The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

    WARNING
    The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

    WARNING
    The comtumthin of alcoho ma mak you tinc you can tipe reel good


    .................

    THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:

    * Indubitably

    * Preliminary

    * Proliferation

    THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK

    * Specificity

    * Antidisestablishmentarianism

    * Loquacious

    * Transubstantiate


    THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:

    * Thanks, but I don't want to have sex

    *Thanks, no more booze for me

    * Sorry, but you're not really my type

    * Oh, no, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing!



    Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.
    ~Anais Nin

  2. #2
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    BigDyl's Avatar


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    True Story, I though Dale was a woman, so I couldn't say no.
    Quote Originally Posted by kbm8795 View Post
    Oh, I think Americans understand that the one thing conservatives hate the most is the idea of spending American tax money on Americans. . .in America.


    Your tax money is safe. . .in Iraq.
    Total ownage.

  3. #3
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    lioness's Avatar


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    Quote Originally Posted by BigDyl
    True Story, I though Dale was a woman, so I couldn't say no.
    I bet Dale had fun!
    Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.
    ~Anais Nin

  4. #4
    Traps
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    lmao..
    If you're not bodybuilding, what are you doing?

  5. #5
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    Dale Mabry's Avatar


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    Dale always has fun. Funny thing is, it was actually Root Beer I gave him, not the real stuff.
    If sense were common, everyone would have it.

    4/2007-Current 75th Ranked most popular image 1 spot behind Prince's bulge...

    Check out my world famous Bob Loblaw's Law Blog at http://www.synergyhw.blogspot.com/...Just kidding, it's a health and wellness blog.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dale Mabry
    Dale always has fun. Funny thing is, it was actually Root Beer I gave him, not the real stuff.

    wait...i'm confused.

    i'm still new around here. didn't know 'dale' was someone here!
    Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.
    ~Anais Nin

  7. #7
    grrrrrr
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dale Mabry
    Dale always has fun. Funny thing is, it was actually Root Beer I gave him, not the real stuff.

    OH! So, BigDyl was just LOOKING for an excuse to make a move on a guy!!


    Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.
    ~Anais Nin

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by lioness
    OH! So, BigDyl was just LOOKING for an excuse to make a move on a guy!!



    You could say that. Actually, he cut a whole in the wall and told me there was a pussy on the other side. Little did I know that he was the pussy and my boner was going into his butt. I recognized the slight of word and just let bygones be bygones. The second time I did it I knew what was going on, so I did it sans lube.
    If sense were common, everyone would have it.

    4/2007-Current 75th Ranked most popular image 1 spot behind Prince's bulge...

    Check out my world famous Bob Loblaw's Law Blog at http://www.synergyhw.blogspot.com/...Just kidding, it's a health and wellness blog.

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