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Translation of common phrases from woman-speak into English.

G

GFR

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[SIZE=-1] Woman-speak: "Of course I don't mind if you..."
English: "You bet your fucking arse I DO mind. Go ahead, you WILL pay later..."

Woman-speak: "Do you like it?"
English: "Fucker, if you do NOT notice my new hairstyle/shoes/mail order catalogue/wall paper/trashy little knicknack/ you are fucking DEAD!

Woman-speak: "You are an asshole"
English: "I will be fucking your brains out in 5 minutes"

Woman-speak: "Do you remember when you got me this?"
English: "I KNOW you don't remember, you cunt, I'm just enjoying seeing you sweat..."

Woman-speak: I don't love you any more.
English: You are broke, out of work, AND I'm fucking somebody else now...

Woman-speak: "We need to talk."
English: "I need to waste your time."

Woman-speak: "We need to talk."
English: "I need to cut your balls off and tell you for the 1,000th time how you do not live up to my standards and nag you eternally and try to change you because I am a shrewish cunt. This will undoubtedly give me a stress headache - you won't be getting any pussy tonight."

Women-speak: "I'm tired."
English: "I'm blaming you unfairly for my weight gain and my self-image problems, and you won't be getting any pussy tonight."

Woman-speak: "Let's just meet for coffee."
English: "You won't be getting any pussy tonight."

Woman-speak: "Oh, I don't care what we do."
English: "Even if you read my mind and figure out exactly what I want, the odds of you getting any pussy tonight are 115:1."

Woman-speak: "You like that football sweatshirt because you went to school there, right?"
English: "I tell all my friends you dress like a fucking slob and I'll be engaging in my manipulative 'you need to wear what I say is good or you won't get any pussy tonight' behavior soon."

Woman-speak: "Are you going to wear that shirt to the wedding?"
English: "I know these are the clothes I fell in love with you in, but now that I want to own you, they just won't do. Being the bossy cunt that I am, I need to re-do your entire wardrobe. I'll be too tired tonight from shopping to suck your dick for the next 15 years."

Woman-speak: "Do I look fat in this?"
English: " I need CREDIBLE reassurance that I am NOT a 350lb MacDonalds hog, with a sagging gut and dropping ass..."

Woman-speak: "I love you"
English: "You are quite a good fuck, and are solvent. My pussy is yours until something better comes along."
English (alternative): "I want something from you."

Woman-speak: "How thoughful of you!"
English: "Pussy whipped asshole, you are gonna have to do a LOT better than that to get some this year, let alone tonight. Suck up HARDER!"

Woman-speakS: Are you coming to bed now?
English: I'm going to tease you with sex to get you to drop whatever you're doing, come up stairs, and cuddle me, but you're still not getting any pussy.

Woman-speak: "You are not the man I married"
English: "In spite of years of manipulation, ridicule and doing my best to mind fuck you on a daily basis to change you into what I want, you have resisted me. Fuck you, no more sex, get out of my life..."

Woman-speak: "I do"
English: "No more blowjobs"

Woman-speak: "I can't find a good man to marry"
English: "I wasted my life focusing on my hate for men, and now I am fucked, the women's movement has destroyed my life"[/SIZE]
 
ForemanRules said:
[SIZE=-1]Woman-speak: "I can't find a good man to marry"
English: "I wasted my life focusing on my hate for men, and now I am fucked, the women's movement has destroyed my life"[/SIZE]
Click to expand...
:laugh:
 
ForemanRules said:
Woman-speak: "You are not the man I married"
English: "In spite of years of manipulation, ridicule and doing my best to mind fuck you on a daily basis to change you into what I want, you have resisted me. Fuck you, no more sex, get out of my life..."

Woman-speak: "I can't find a good man to marry"
English: "I wasted my life focusing on my hate for men, and now I am fucked, the women's movement has destroyed my life"
Click to expand...
:rofl: :yes:
 
it's kinda funny that she's so mean but he still wants pussy. like if there's pussy on one end n a cotton mouth on the other a guys still going to be after it.
 
Foreman, do you hate women?
 
Real meaning of words in women's personal ads.

  • [SIZE=-1][/SIZE][SIZE=-1]
    [*]Strong woman - Bitch with a severe case of self entitlement.
    [*]Classy - Bitchy 45 year old real estate agent type.
    [*]Seeking gentleman - Looking for rich guy who isn't interested in sex.
    [*]World traveler - would love to go to Europe as long as you're buying.
    [*]Intelligent - She isn't but thinks she is, and you'd better entertain her.
    [*]Rubenesque - Fat
    [*]Sarcastic - Bought into the whole Gen X irony thing and is really a miserable bore to hang out with.
    [*]Make me laugh - You're expected to be highly entertaining right away.
    [*]Sick of bar scene - She doesn't get hit on at bars due to one or more physical flaws.
    [*]Friends first - Reformed slut
    [*]Tired of games/jerks - I fucked and sucked my way through fifteen counties, but now I want a docile schmuck to pay my bills and not pester me for sex.
    [*]Shapely - Fat
    [*]BBW - Grossly, morbidly obese (Bring Burgers With)
    [*]Must like kids - I want a putz who will break his ass paying for another man's cast off progeny.
    [*]Loves the Outdoors - Closet Lesbo
    [*]Snuggling and Warm Fires - No Sex
    [*]Enjoys Traveling - You're paying, right?
    [*]Fun Loving - Fucked 100 guys
    [*]Meaningful Relationship - Slavery
    [*]Nurturing - Smothering
    [*]Sassy - Insufferable by the third date.
    [*]Bubbly - All fuckin happy all the damn time to the point of annoying.
    [*]No games! - I won't put up with your games, but I will gladly infuriate you with mine.
    [*]Eccentric or quirky - Psycho...
    [*]Grown up man - Sucker willing to marry and support my lazy fat ass.
    [*]Financially Secure - You should own about 200,000 shares of MSFT.[/SIZE]
 
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If you record a woman talking and then play it backwards at 1/4 speed you'll hear demons whisper sweet nothings in your ear.
 
I find this thread offensive
 
"Fine": This is the word a woman uses at the end of any argument that she feels she is right about but needs to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

"Five minutes": This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

"Nothing": This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".

"Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

"Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows): This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a raised eyebrow "Go ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

<Loud Sigh>: This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A <Loud Sigh> means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

<Soft Sigh>: Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. <Soft Sighs> are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

"Oh": This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; "Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night."

If she says "Oh" before a statement, RUN, do not walk, to the nearest exit.

She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days.

"Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows "Go ahead" followed by acts so unspeakable that we can't bring ourselves to write about them.

"That's Okay": This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go ahead". At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

"Please Do": This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".

"Thanks": A woman is thanking you. Do not faint; just say you're welcome.

"Thanks a lot": This is much different from "Thanks". A woman will say, "Thanks a lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh".

Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as she will only tell you "Nothing".
 
the woman hating on this board is at an all time high.
 
MyK said:
"Fine": This is the word a woman uses at the end of any argument that she feels she is right about but needs to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

"Five minutes": This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

"Nothing": This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".

"Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

"Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows): This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a raised eyebrow "Go ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

<Loud Sigh>: This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A <Loud Sigh> means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

<Soft Sigh>: Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. <Soft Sighs> are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

"Oh": This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; "Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night."

If she says "Oh" before a statement, RUN, do not walk, to the nearest exit.

She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days.

"Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows "Go ahead" followed by acts so unspeakable that we can't bring ourselves to write about them.

"That's Okay": This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go ahead". At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

"Please Do": This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".

"Thanks": A woman is thanking you. Do not faint; just say you're welcome.

"Thanks a lot": This is much different from "Thanks". A woman will say, "Thanks a lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh".

Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as she will only tell you "Nothing".
Click to expand...


these are so true... lol.
 
maniclion said:
If you record a woman talking and then play it backwards at 1/4 speed you'll hear demons whisper sweet nothings in your ear.
Click to expand...


 
ForemanRules said:
  • [SIZE=-1][/SIZE][SIZE=-1]

    [*]Loves the Outdoors -
    [*]Snuggling and Warm Fires -
    [/SIZE]
Click to expand...


:confused: those things are supposed to lead to wild sex :confused:

and not with women bleh.....
 
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