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10 Situations In Which You'd Want To Avoid Getting A Blowjob

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  1. #1
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    10 Situations In Which You'd Want To Avoid Getting A Blowjob

    Hey, you never know.

    1. After your blowjob buddy comes back from getting a filling (and I'm not talking about a creampie). Her mouth will be numb from the novocaine, and she chances of her chomping down on your dick are high!

    2. Avoid getting a blowjob on a rollercoaster.
    Getting a blowjob while traveling on a bumpy cart going 130 miles per hour is just asking for disaster.

    3. When the
    slut offering you to give the blowjob has a first name of Lorena and a last name of Bobbit.

    4. If the girl you just met in a club has a deep voice and an Adams Apple... And hands bigger than yours! She may know how to please your cock, but
    she may also have a bigger cock than you!

    5. If she's whining about buffing the bishop with her mouth, then you'll be better off by just going into the bathroom and jerking yourself off. Nothing kills the mood and a perfectly good erection than a girl who keeps
    whining about her sore jaw, the taste of precum or the scent of your musty nuts.

    6. Never get a blowjob from an epileptic bitch in a night club. While it may be a thrill the get
    a blowjob in public, it'll be a major pain when she clamps down on your cock and foams at the mouth.

    7. Never pick the hottest girl in the group if you are just seeking a blowjob. It's a FACT that the
    ugliest/fattest girls give the best blowjobs. If a knob slobbing is all you seek, do yourself a favor and pick the odd woman out!

    8. Just because a couple fingers pop out of a hole in the mens bathroom doesn't mean that you should stick your cock through it... Especially if that hand has hairy knuckles and a wedding band! That is of course unless you don't mind a 45 year old married fat guy giving you a
    blowjob through a hole in the wall.

    9. Just because the chick at the STD clinic is hot, doesn't mean that you can look past that open sore on her mouth. While she may look sexy when she's
    on her knees giving you a blowjob, she might not look so sexy when you wake up the next day to see what else she gave you!

    10. While your best friend's mom may look fucking amazing, you may want to keep in mind that your best friend is an escaped convict who fled the joint after being charged for double homicide. Avoid
    blowjobs from your buddy's mom at all costs!

  2. #2
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    7. Totally disagree!

  3. #3
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    Go for the hottest and if you lose your self respect you got a backup

  4. #4
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    damn there are some hotties on #4!!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Crono1000 View Post
    damn there are some hotties on #4!!!
    Holy crap!!! I didn't realize there were links when I copied this!

    Believe it or not I was thinking of you when I made the 3 threads about sperm.

  6. #6
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    A mate of mine pulled a real stunning bird the other week and couldnt believe his luck when she invited him back too her place. On the monday at work we asked him how he got on, the story started well with her being a real copper and she pretended to handcuff him, he said she stripped him naked and tied his hands behind his back and proceeded to give him a blowjob, he said he felt a sharp pain in his groin area and when he looked down there was blood pissing out or his cock, she had sliced through his foreskin, what made it worse is that she couldnt get the knot out from behind his back.....we were pissing ourselves laughing when he told us this but he didnt see the funny side of it.....
    Male, 38 years old, 5ft 11", 187lbs
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    Quote Originally Posted by MACCA View Post
    A mate of mine pulled a real stunning bird the other week and couldnt believe his luck when she invited him back too her place. On the monday at work we asked him how he got on, the story started well with her being a real copper and she pretended to handcuff him, he said she stripped him naked and tied his hands behind his back and proceeded to give him a blowjob, he said he felt a sharp pain in his groin area and when he looked down there was blood pissing out or his cock, she had sliced through his foreskin, what made it worse is that she couldnt get the knot out from behind his back.....we were pissing ourselves laughing when he told us this but he didnt see the funny side of it.....
    Poor guy

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    Poor guy, hes got a girlfriend so he had to say no too sex until it had healed up......
    Male, 38 years old, 5ft 11", 187lbs
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    Quote Originally Posted by MACCA View Post
    Poor guy, hes got a girlfriend so he had to say no too sex until it had healed up......
    She doesn't know does she? How does one explain that?
    "Honey the dog bit my-------"

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by min0 lee View Post
    She doesn't know does she? How does one explain that?
    "Honey the dog bit my-------"
    I always used the excuse "I caught my dick in my zipper."
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    I would take a bj from anyone in every situation. Theres no turning down BJ's!

  12. #12
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    BJs - When they're good, they're great! And when they're bad, they're still pretty good.

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    Thats right TT. Same goes for pizza, when its good its great and when its bad its still pretty good, then again I dont mean to compare BJ's to pizza....urgh

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by min0 lee View Post
    Holy crap!!! I didn't realize there were links when I copied this!

    Believe it or not I was thinking of you when I made the 3 threads about sperm.
    I am getting suspicious about your avitar.....based on your threads, I am not sure that is milk.
    If you always have a great day, you will always have a great life.

    "The gym offers force and pain and relief. It provides challenge and struggle and satisfaction." Dave Draper

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    Isn't it called the same?

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