What a pair of losers, they should ship these two along with Paris, Britney and Lindsey Lohan to mars.

Monday , May 14, 2007
By Mike Straka


It's like deja vu all over again.
The world's first reality TV couple, "Long Island Lolita" Amy Fisher and the seriously questionable object of her desire, Joey Buttafuoco, captivated America with their sordid tale of statutory rape and attempted murder in the early 1990s.

It was "Blind Date" (teenage Amy meets middle-age Joey) meets "The Bachelor" (Joey promises to love her forever) meets "Survivor" (Joey's wife Mary Jo lives after being shot in the face by Amy).
Talk about a match made in hell.

Fisher served seven hard years in prison for shooting Mary Jo, while Buttafuoco skated by with just four months for statutory rape.
Since then, Amy got married (her husband has just filed for divorce). Joey got divorced, remarried and his second wife has just filed for divorce. He's also been sent to jail three more times for various run-ins with the law, including soliciting a prostitute.

Both have appeared on various entertainment tabloid news shows and a Fox reality disaster, "Celebrity Boxing," where Joey beat up a female pro wrestler. There, instead of facing jail time for giving a gal a shiner, he got paid.
Unbelievable.
Now comes word that these two will tape dates in the hopes some lame-brained producer will go for a reality show based on their courtship/reunion on some lame-brained network.

It's no wonder, then, that this master plan comes from producer David Krieff, the same guy who was to fund former *NSYNC boy-bander Lance Bass' trip to the Russian space station Mir.
That rocket never took off. What a surprise.

Whatever happened to that $20 million the Russians were promised for delivering Bass to outer space? Perhaps Krieff was holding on to it for the mound of legal woes that are bound to follow any project that involves Joey Buttafuoco and his paramour.

You see, this is the problem we have when there are just too many channels on the tube, too many Web sites looking for content and too many digital and high definition startups looking to make a splash.
Fifteen years ago, the very idea of this type of dreck finding itself on a television network, broadcast or cable, would never get past the napkin pitch. Never mind getting the green light anywhere.

I can't even believe I'm writing a column about these two losers.
No, Amy Fisher and Joey Buttafuoco will not have their own reality show. Britney Spears and Kevin Federline's didn't survive a full season; I can't imagine this one would go beyond the pilot episode.

Besides, what with so many shock-and-awe type shows already come and gone, like "Jackass," "Fear Factor" and countless others, even shooting each other in the face on their third date won't do anything to boost the ratings on this dud.
There's nothing left to shock us.
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