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In tears laughing
- Thread starter Plateau_Max
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Okay, from here on out, it's Irish jokes only.
Why are you here bashing on cats? Shouldn't you be cutting soap by a waterfall or looking for 4 leaf clovers?
Taking a wee break from the golf circuit, Tiger Woods drives his new BMW into an Irish gas station.
An attendant greets him in typical Irish manner, unaware who the golf pro is, "Top o' the morning to ya".
As Tiger gets out of the car, two tees fall out of his pocket. "So what are those things my, son?" asks the attendant.
"They're called tees," replied Tiger.
"And what would ya be usin 'em for, now?" inquired the Irishman.
"Well, they're for resting my balls on when I drive," replies Tiger.
"Aw, Jaysus, Mary an' Joseph!" exclaimed the Irish attendant. "Those fellas working for BMW think of everything!"
An attendant greets him in typical Irish manner, unaware who the golf pro is, "Top o' the morning to ya".
As Tiger gets out of the car, two tees fall out of his pocket. "So what are those things my, son?" asks the attendant.
"They're called tees," replied Tiger.
"And what would ya be usin 'em for, now?" inquired the Irishman.
"Well, they're for resting my balls on when I drive," replies Tiger.
"Aw, Jaysus, Mary an' Joseph!" exclaimed the Irish attendant. "Those fellas working for BMW think of everything!"
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An Irish man was lying back relaxed in his garden chair while his wife mowed the lawn. A neighbour poked his head over the fence and told him in no uncertain terms:
"That's terrible, letting your wife do the work. How lazy can you get? You should be damn well hung."
"I am," replied the man. "That's why she mows the lawn."
"That's terrible, letting your wife do the work. How lazy can you get? You should be damn well hung."
"I am," replied the man. "That's why she mows the lawn."
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An Irish woman walks into a supermarket and buys:
1 bar of Irish Spring Soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube of toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 single serving of Lucky Charms
1 single serving frozen dinner
1 can of Soup For One
1 16oz can of Guinness
The guy at the checkout looks at her and says, "Single, are you?"
The woman smiles sweetly and replies, "How did you guess?"
He replies, "Because you're ugly."
1 bar of Irish Spring Soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube of toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 single serving of Lucky Charms
1 single serving frozen dinner
1 can of Soup For One
1 16oz can of Guinness
The guy at the checkout looks at her and says, "Single, are you?"
The woman smiles sweetly and replies, "How did you guess?"
He replies, "Because you're ugly."
Last edited:
There I changed some of the items. I didn't actually change the items themselves just the TYPE.
Damn straight!
Lucky Charms were the best breakfast cereal ever invented. I just used to pick out the marshmallow pieces and eat a bowl of them every morning.
How i didnt become clinically obese as a child with the stuff i ate ill never know...
How i didnt become clinically obese as a child with the stuff i ate ill never know...
NordicNacho
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Lucky Charms is certified stoner food ...
I'd burn one and eat a box of this stuff at one sitting when I was a kid.
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Lucky Charms is certified stoner food ...
I'd burn one and eat a box of this stuff at one sitting when I was a kid.
Back before I cared about what I ate, I would smoke a blunt and eat a whole box of fruity pebbles.
Lucky Charms and Fruity Pebbles are brain food and there is nothing better than that sweet milk left after you've eaten a whole salad bowl full....mmmmmmm mmmmmmmm!!!!
mboylan86
Registered
thats actually funny
wtf? who the fuck cuts soap on a waterfall (and what the hell does that mean)
but...lucky charms are american, we dont eat that crap over here
who the hell says "16oz can of guinness"
im irish, i drink anything alcoholic
again..... anything alcoholic
Heres a Irish Joke
Irish Hero
William of Orange
Party and Parade to celebrate
yeah, thats pretty much the same as if i started takin the piss out of 9/11
Last edited:
William of Orange is Dutch, dude.
NordicNacho
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He invaded England and fought a war in Ireland and kicked the Catholic
English Kings Ass and became the King of England.
It was a joke 
Fetusaurus Rex
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mboylan86
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dont ask me why, but that reminds me of my mother
Fetusaurus Rex
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Richie1888
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Heres a Irish Joke
Irish Hero
William of Orange
Party and Parade to celebrate
mboylan86
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NordicNacho
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He invaded England and fought a war in Ireland and kicked the Catholic
English Kings Ass and became the King of England.
mboylan86
Registered
