F*CK Bruce Lee "AND" Randy Couture

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  1. #1
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    F*CK Bruce Lee "AND" Randy Couture

    Dude there are people out there that will kick your ass.
    Just make sure you are picking a fight with the right guy.

    Instead of bickering about randy and bruce,
    which I've said no one has truly seen, or can
    make a solid enough argument to sway all of us...


    Tell us a story about a REAL street fight or similar act
    that you actually witnessed, "OR" took part in.
    Last edited by The Monkey Man; 04-06-2008 at 10:29 PM.

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    Ill start...

    This biker bar I used to hang out at had a brawl every night on friday and saturday...

    They had about 10 bouncers, but the head guy was this man mountain type...

    They had two brothers that were these big roided-up BB types.

    One night these two bikers start going at it... Pretty big guys.
    And they are FIGHTING!

    so the two BB brothers and this other bigger roided-up guy
    get into it, and the two bikers are kicking all three of their asses
    and still getting shots on each other.

    Out of the corner of my eye I see Man Mountain enter the far side of the bar room... it seemed like he only took 5 steps to move all the way across the bar and dance floor area.

    he gets over there with each hand he lifts up one of the two brothers,
    so he can access the two bikers.. He does the thing where he clocks thier heads together like coconuts...
    I swear I heard the hollow sound, just like the three stooges...
    Then he proceeds to bear hug both assholes AND the third bouncer who just happened to get caught in the clench...
    He picks them all up like a grocery sack, and whisks all of them out to the parking lot...
    (QUICKLY... In other words, it was no struggle.)

    Then he throws all three guys onto the pavement in front of the place like a bucket of mop water.


    I've never seen anything like it, or any bouncer remove anyone so efficiently.

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    Once a guy tried starting a fight with me at a bar but I was completely oblivious he was shit talking me.

    True story. My friends told me about it later.

    Then I came back the next weekend and KO-ed him with a spinning backfist.

    Not so true story.
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    I once saw Randy Couture in a street fight with Bruce Lee.

    Randy dominated him in every aspect of the fight. When Bruce layed bloodied on the sidewalk he proclaimed that he wanted everyone to know that Randy was completely out of his league and noone should ever think that he could beat him. Sadly, he died moments later because of the horrific ass kicking he recieved. Noone could carry on his message, until now. You now know the finals words of Bruce Lee.
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    This one time a bunch of big roided up guys thought they could fight because they were big and had alot of Lean Body Mass. So they picked on this creepy looking guy named Joe who looked like a computer nerd. Joe owned them all.
    Quote Originally Posted by kbm8795 View Post
    Oh, I think Americans understand that the one thing conservatives hate the most is the idea of spending American tax money on Americans. . .in America.


    Your tax money is safe. . .in Iraq.
    Total ownage.

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    well, the last time I engaged in any violence was a couple years ago in this little hole in the wall bar.
    I used to live around the corner from the place so I was in there all the time and I was pretty friendly with the owner and his family.
    Anyway, I'm in there one night and some young guy's hassling Jamie (the owner's daughter waitressed for him) so the owner has a couple words with him. (this guy's in his 70's) well, the guy gets a little shitty yelling at Ron (the owner, who surprisingly didn't lose his temper)about how he'd kick the old mans ass, and he's studied something (I can't remember what he said, prolly karate) and that "You don't know anyting about me old man!"
    Now, this a 23-24 year old guy threatening a 70 year old stick man.So I called down the bar to Ron and asked him if he wanted me to escort the guy out. Ron asks the guy if there's going to be any trouble and the guy looks down at me and says "No man, we're cool".
    O.K., so the festivities continue on, about an hour or so later, Ron's sitting at the bar having a beer with me and this guy comes over to try and plead his case about how he's really not a bad guy and he just got mad because Ron talked to him like piece of shit.
    Ron was having none of it, he simply told the guy that he wouldn't get any respect from him if he acted like a stupid punk. Well, apparently that wasn't what the guy wanted to hear. He said something to Ron, then shoved the old man off his barstool.
    I snatched the guy up and Ron's yelling "Get him the fuck outta here before I call the police", so I drag the guy outside the whole time telling him how fucking stupid it was to put his hands on the owner and when I let him go, he took a swing at me. Well, to put it simply, I beat the shit outta that idiot. He caught a head butt to the face, a leg sweep, and then a straight palm strike to the face and he was done. I left him in the parking lot and went back inside to finish my beer.
    Shit like that used to happen in there all the time... I'd say there was some kind of scuffle at least once a month. Thankfully, I wasn't involved in too many of them. I was kind of a default bouncer along with a couple other guys so people didn't start with us too often.

    here's another one, this ones pretty funny.
    I'm in there one night and my buddy Doug was in there, I'm on the other side of th bar and I hear Doug fukkin screaming at someone, so I wander over and ask rather loudly "What's goin' on Doug, We fighting?" I'm not kidding, as soon as I say it I hear from behind me "Do we got a problem?" I turn around and there's a freakin' behemoth standing there looking incredilby unhappy. (I'm not kidding this guy was at elast 6'6" and all of 350 lbs of pissed off biker) I looked him straight in the face and said "God, I hope not." Which was apparently the right thing to say 'cuz he started laughing his ass off and even bought me a beer. Guess what his nickname was.... 'Tiny'.
    Tiny actually turned out to be a pretty cool guy, and we ended up drinking buddies after that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by fufu View Post
    I once saw Randy Couture in a street fight with Bruce Lee.

    Randy dominated him in every aspect of the fight. When Bruce layed bloodied on the sidewalk he proclaimed that he wanted everyone to know that Randy was completely out of his league and noone should ever think that he could beat him. Sadly, he died moments later because of the horrific ass kicking he recieved. Noone could carry on his message, until now. You now know the finals words of Bruce Lee.
    However, this event was witnessed by others too. What they thought was a fight actually turned out to be homsexual rape by Randy Couture.
    All that MMA rolling around on the ground was infact foreplay, as Randy whispered in Bruce's ear: "MMA stands for 'man-on-man-action', baby."

    Later, a coroner confirmed that Bruce had actually died of shame.

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    ok i have a doozy of a story. i have a very nasty scar on my right arm, coverd by a celtic cross now. any way i was driving back home to jax florida one night. i stopped in a whole in the wall town some were in west virginia. some crappy bar and grill was there so i stopped to get a burger and a coke. well must have been midget night in there freaking midgets every were. i sit down this little fucker comes over to me and says we dont like your kind around here. i looked at him and said i dont like pixies bothering me when i am trieng to eat. well he didnt like that so he kicked me in the shin, and tells me he is going to kick my ass. well i stood up field goal kicked his little ass and sat back down. well that pissed the whole bar off. next thing i know i have like fourty midgets throwing shit at me and every thing else. i am fighting my way to the door and this little basturd pulls out a blade and stabs me in the arm. actualy i fell down a large hill got my arm wrapped in green briar, and it looks like i got stabbed. so that is my story.
    i bet in the world you live in every one is a pony, eats rainbows, and craps butterflys.
    there is no damn justice in the world.

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    wtf. id dint no biker gangs were dat powerful i never met one before

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    Quote Originally Posted by danny81 View Post
    wtf. id dint no biker gangs were dat powerful i never met one before
    look up the Outlaws and Hells Angels
    What Would Fetus Do?

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    Quote Originally Posted by lucifuge View Post
    well, the last time I engaged in any violence was a couple years ago in this little hole in the wall bar.
    I used to live around the corner from the place so I was in there all the time and I was pretty friendly with the owner and his family.
    Anyway, I'm in there one night and some young guy's hassling Jamie (the owner's daughter waitressed for him) so the owner has a couple words with him. (this guy's in his 70's) well, the guy gets a little shitty yelling at Ron (the owner, who surprisingly didn't lose his temper)about how he'd kick the old mans ass, and he's studied something (I can't remember what he said, prolly karate) and that "You don't know anyting about me old man!"
    Now, this a 23-24 year old guy threatening a 70 year old stick man.So I called down the bar to Ron and asked him if he wanted me to escort the guy out. Ron asks the guy if there's going to be any trouble and the guy looks down at me and says "No man, we're cool".
    O.K., so the festivities continue on, about an hour or so later, Ron's sitting at the bar having a beer with me and this guy comes over to try and plead his case about how he's really not a bad guy and he just got mad because Ron talked to him like piece of shit.
    Ron was having none of it, he simply told the guy that he wouldn't get any respect from him if he acted like a stupid punk. Well, apparently that wasn't what the guy wanted to hear. He said something to Ron, then shoved the old man off his barstool.
    I snatched the guy up and Ron's yelling "Get him the fuck outta here before I call the police", so I drag the guy outside the whole time telling him how fucking stupid it was to put his hands on the owner and when I let him go, he took a swing at me. Well, to put it simply, I beat the shit outta that idiot. He caught a head butt to the face, a leg sweep, and then a straight palm strike to the face and he was done. I left him in the parking lot and went back inside to finish my beer.
    Shit like that used to happen in there all the time... I'd say there was some kind of scuffle at least once a month. Thankfully, I wasn't involved in too many of them. I was kind of a default bouncer along with a couple other guys so people didn't start with us too often.

    here's another one, this ones pretty funny.
    I'm in there one night and my buddy Doug was in there, I'm on the other side of th bar and I hear Doug fukkin screaming at someone, so I wander over and ask rather loudly "What's goin' on Doug, We fighting?" I'm not kidding, as soon as I say it I hear from behind me "Do we got a problem?" I turn around and there's a freakin' behemoth standing there looking incredilby unhappy. (I'm not kidding this guy was at elast 6'6" and all of 350 lbs of pissed off biker) I looked him straight in the face and said "God, I hope not." Which was apparently the right thing to say 'cuz he started laughing his ass off and even bought me a beer. Guess what his nickname was.... 'Tiny'.
    Tiny actually turned out to be a pretty cool guy, and we ended up drinking buddies after that.
    "God, I hope not."

    You showed a lot of self-control with that guy who pushed the owner. I'd wouldn't have bothered to escort him out. I'd have fed him his teeth on the spot.

    I don't have any great fight stories. Well, aside from the "nice shirt" fight.

    Growing up, for the most, all I ever fought were Mexicans. They're generally small and shitty fighters. But they almost never fight alone. Two on one isn't that hard. Three on one gets tough. From four and up, it becomes a function of how bad I get my ass kicked.


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    Quote Originally Posted by danny81 View Post
    wtf. id dint no biker gangs were dat powerful i never met one before

    Quote Originally Posted by Fetusaurus Rex View Post
    look up the Outlaws and Hells Angels
    Believe me, you do not want a biker club pissed at you. The Outlaws and Invaders are the two biggest ones around here that I know of. Tiny runs with the Invaders.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DOMS View Post
    "God, I hope not."

    You showed a lot of self-control with that guy who pushed the owner. I'd wouldn't have bothered to escort him out. I'd have fed him his teeth on the spot.

    I don't have any great fight stories. Well, aside from the "nice shirt" fight.

    Growing up, for the most, all I ever fought were Mexicans. They're generally small and shitty fighters. But they almost never fight alone. Two on one isn't that hard. Three on one gets tough. From four and up, it becomes a function of how bad I get my ass kicked.
    Yeah, that comment saved my frikkin ass that night. I'm not too proud to admit either, Tiny would have fucked me up.
    As for the self control, I was actually more surprised than anything when he pushed him. It was more of a “holy shit” moment and I just grabbed a hold of the guy and tried to see if Ron was ok.
    As for fighting stories, unfortunately, I have a few… but I wasn’t a very nice guy for a few years… hell a decade.

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    every one has at least one story. doms as for your fighting multiple attackers that cant fight actualy can be fun if you know how to move. they will do alot of the work for you if there is a good few people trieng to jump you. always remember nothing hurts some one throwing a crappy haymaker than smashing the top of your forehead into there fist. good times good times.
    i bet in the world you live in every one is a pony, eats rainbows, and craps butterflys.
    there is no damn justice in the world.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Fetusaurus Rex View Post
    look up the Outlaws and Hells Angels
    lmfao they have their own website. lmao my crew doesnt have a website

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    I once saw my friend get sucker punched and knocked out cold. The punch didn't do that much damage but his head hitting the pavement did. He was in the ECU for 8 days. The kid got charged with a felony, his trial is coming up.
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    Burn that fucker!
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    Quote Originally Posted by danny81 View Post
    lmfao they have their own website. lmao my crew doesnt have a website
    What a shocker... a bunch of retarded illiterate punks can't put together a web site?

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    Quote Originally Posted by NeilPearson View Post
    What a shocker... a bunch of retarded illiterate punks can't put together a web site?
    No shit... So what do they do?...

    "Find a site to troll on of course"

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    Quote Originally Posted by NeilPearson View Post
    What a shocker... a bunch of retarded illiterate punks can't put together a web site?
    no. these biker gangs are the only gang with a website the mafia doesnt even have one

  22. #22
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    My friend got in a fight with a drunk retard in some little shit-kick town where we stopped in to get supplies (and drunk) while we were hunting.

    The retarded guy was sort of stout and fat, and probably would have kicked my buddies ass if we hadn't split them up.


    Hitting a retard in the head doesn't do much damage anyway,
    but this guy was feeling no pain and drunk also.

    It was a disturbing scene.

    Have Problems?... Chances are its due to overpopulation
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  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by danny81 View Post
    no. these biker gangs are the only gang with a website the mafia doesnt even have one
    you actually thought the mafia would have a web site?

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    DAMN, that's good stuff...

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    nooo.. i didnt thats y i said y the fuck do they havea website no other gang does

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    wrong thead my bad

  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by danny81 View Post
    nooo.. i didnt thats y i said y the fuck do they havea website no other gang does
    it's a PR thing...as I understand it, the Hells' Angels do charitable events to cover up their evil, violent, illegal ways.
    Success leaves clues. People who produce outstanding results do specific things to create those results

    Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing NOW to solve our problem

    THERE IS NO TOMORROW!
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    watsup burner. havent seen u in a whie.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Burner02 View Post
    it's a PR thing...as I understand it, the Hells' Angels do charitable events to cover up their evil, violent, illegal ways.
    My favorite Hell's Angels story involved them in a dispute with Marvel Comics.

    Marvel was going to start a comic series titled Hell's Angels. Well, the Hell's Angels found out about it and told Marvel, in no uncertain terms, that they were not allowed to use their name.

    Marvel affectively told them they could do it because Hell's Angels had no copyright on the name. So Hell's Angels blew up the editor's car. The series took a different name.


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    Quote Originally Posted by DOMS View Post
    I don't have any great fight stories. Well, aside from the "nice shirt" fight.

    Growing up, for the most, all I ever fought were Mexicans. They're generally small and shitty fighters. But they almost never fight alone. Two on one isn't that hard. Three on one gets tough. From four and up, it becomes a function of how bad I get my ass kicked.
    The nice shirt story....classic....still makes me laugh.


    Seems that way about mexicans...doesn't it? Don't forget that they seem to have to pull blades out to correct for that....BTW: My case update:
    Went to court today for my attacker's disposition hearing. he wasn't there. Evidently, he's still a 'guest' in Jefferson County. (Denver, Co) The disposition is getting pushed back till the 28th when the DA is gonna push for at least 10 years for the little bastard.
    DA also said that when the case is over, I'll get to watch the security cameras that fimed it.
    Then...as soon as the gavel drops, I'm gonna hire a nasty lawyer, and if this punk has any money...it will become mine...I love justice.
    Success leaves clues. People who produce outstanding results do specific things to create those results

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    Quote Originally Posted by danny81 View Post
    watsup burner. havent seen u in a whie.
    workin'...my new boss actually expects me to produce results for my paychecks...
    Success leaves clues. People who produce outstanding results do specific things to create those results

    Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing NOW to solve our problem

    THERE IS NO TOMORROW!
    - Appollo Creed

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