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sex bloopers

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Thread: sex bloopers

  1. #1
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    sex bloopers






    We all know sex feels good and you feel good after words. Right?

    Well, what kind of sex stories you have turned out to be funny or just plain wrong?

    I'll have my first story up soon....
    There are people who love me and there are people who hate me. I will take care of those people who love me and the rest can burn in hell.

  2. #2
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    I somehow got a Saturday off one day from work and my ex and I wanted to celibrate. The sex was amazing...yadda yadda...and then I wake up Sunday morning to get ready for work and I have a horrible pain in my tummy. I look in the mirror and I see a bruise about the size of a tennis ball and as round as can be. He bit my stomach. God, I didn't know if I wanted to thank him for the sex or punch him for the bruise.
    There are people who love me and there are people who hate me. I will take care of those people who love me and the rest can burn in hell.

  3. #3
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  4. #4
    trying to become a beast
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    i was having sex with this one girl a lil over a month ago and i guess i was screwing her to hard or somethin i bounced her head off the wall.
    5'9 195 flint fury football #47 RB/S 40in vert.

  5. #5
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    There was this one night that my ex and I were doing it a bit too hard and I had cramps for the next three days.
    There are people who love me and there are people who hate me. I will take care of those people who love me and the rest can burn in hell.

  6. #6
    Amor Fati
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    One time i was in a hurry to get some and i guess i didn't get the condom on all the way to the base or something and lost it inside a girl. Took like an hour to get it out, had to search the net for advice. Its surprisingly a fairly common occurrence, or maybe not common but its happened enough to have internet info out there.

    She was about to call her mom and i freaked out completely and said she wasn't allowed, then i said, "my mom's a nurse, maybe she could help," and the girl freaked out and said hell no. So finally we got it out and finished having our quality time

    BTW, if it ever happens to anyone all she has to do is squat and bare down like she is gonna take a dump. That will bring it lower and you can just reach in and grab it.
    "The greatest obstacle to knowledge is not ignorance but the illusion of knowledge." -Barry Marshall, Nobel Laureate

  7. #7
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    Well my buddy had the best story, he went down on this chick and all of a sudden he has something in his mouth. Spits it out... turns out to be piece of toilet paper remains.

  8. #8
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    I have a few;

    deafening pussy farts

    discovering solidified lube deposits deep inside the pussy

    busted lips

    cum getting in girls' eyes

    hitting a turd during anal

    losing objects in the pussy

    angry parents running into the room banging on the door, asking if we're banging in there...

    hurting my lower back during a stand-up fucking session

    cock slipping out during a hard thrust and hitting the outside of the pussy...that hurt so much i saw stars

  9. #9
    primeau
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    I have been farted a few times...its funny, b/c I've never done it to a girl before.

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