For strenght on bench the forearm should be straight up and down when at the bottom of the rep( bar on chest). For bb style hands should be 4-5" outside of the shoulders(on each side).
BB row I usejust outside shoulders. Alway overhand never under... Under put tons of stress on the bis. < real easy way to pull it off the bone.
I usually use about the same width grip when benching vs rowing, but I change width quite a bit as a kind of muscle confusion technique and to make sure I'm working muscle groups from different angles. By going wider than standard width you can hit a little more lat flare and rear delts on rows. closer grip you can hit the lower lats and traps and also work thickness a little better. all depends on what you're looking for out of the exercise, i try to mix up the way I do almost all exercises in the gym. I know it was a slightly vague answer, but that's my opinion - hope this helps
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