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Universal Gym Rules - It's about Time

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    Universal Gym Rules - It's about Time

    I don't know how the rest of you feel but given some of the behavior and inconsideration at some of the gym’s I think it's time someone put together some "universal rules” or “etiquette guidelines” that could be posted in most gyms. I’ll start the thread with a few of my own ideas – please feel free to contribute as your own experiences and observations permit (feel free to be whimsical to make a point):

    Please do NOT wear perfume or cologne to the gym. As shocking as it may be, not everyone responds with euphoria to the sudden rush of olfactory stimulant at the final inhalation for that new personal best 1RM bench press.

    Wear appropriate foot attire in the free weight room. For some inexplicable reason suddenly dropped dumbbells will always roll with magnetism toward the dude wearing the white Italian loafers (sock-less of course).

    Do not talk about religion, politics, “who’s doing what to who”, or make jokes etc. next to a person making deep visceral grunting noises while holding a barbell that is bending from the strain of tremendous tension. Such a person might drop it left or right depending on their opinion of the topic and capacity to suffer bad humor.

    Spandex – wear with caution and adhere to the garment tag warning: “Do not wear if over 15% body fat”.

    Do not ask a person if you can “play through” on the incline leg press machine if it already has 20 plates on it. Instead, go immediately to the leg extension machine and load up enough weight to keep you occupied in your seat for the full minute you would have spent at the other machine.

    If you must drag a bench close to the person doing heavy inclined bench presses so that you have a place to sit and stow your gear, keep your water bottle off the floor. Dropped dumbbells have an affinity for finding liquids and the other person seldom appreciates the shower – whether it be natural spring water or an expensive sports drink.

    Last edited by OceanDude; 07-03-2003 at 04:41 PM.
    "Doc, If I had known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself..."

    Est unusquisque faber ipsae suae fortunae.

    We Americans scoff at the likes of African witch doctors yet spend 100's of millions of dollars on fake reducing systems.

    The only regular exercise he gets is stretching the truth.

    His intellect is not replenished, he is only an animal, only sensible in the duller parts...

  2. #2
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    For the ladies... Please refrain from caking on your makeup right before a workout in the hopes that some hottie will notice you... he'll notice you alright, but not in the way you were hoping for.
    ~Ann
    We must teach our children to dream with their eyes open.
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  3. #3
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    does cologne and perfume include wearing a deoderant, because thats very important...
    "a scientist who works out, your like Indiana Jones"..."I AM LIKE INDIANA JONES"

    "dont hate me cause im beautiful baby, hate me cause your mother thinks so"

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    Wear appropriate foot attire in the free weight room. For some inexplicable reason suddenly dropped dumbbells will always roll with magnetism toward the dude wearing the white Italian loafers (sock-less of course).
    this is a good rule except when doing squats. I always squat with my shoes off in order to increase my tactile senses and get on the flatest surface as possible. I find that because of the arches in most shoes when squating my feet tend to role a bit becuase it is not a flat surface. I do almost my entire leg workout shoeless, stiff leg deads, squats, calf raises etc.
    Optimum Sports Performance

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  5. #5
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    "Shut the fuck up" I'm here to work out, if you want to shoot the breeze, save it for the bar and quit taking up space in the gym.
    Cool

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    Patrick
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    lol, good one
    Optimum Sports Performance

    "In the beginners mind there are many possibilities, in the experts there are few."
    -Buddha's Little Instruction Book

  7. #7
    You Lack Intensity!!!!
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    -leave your cell phone in the car
    -if your clothes are not a style we have seen in decades, don't wear them. This goes for hair length also.
    -do not take up the power rack to use the olympic bar to train the biceps unless you are slappin at least a 45 on each side. There is nothing more frustrating than trying to do a power exercise and some clown is curling the olympic bar with a 5 on each side. Use the barbells.
    -keep your eyes to yourself and not on others working harder than you.
    -Do not throw the weights to the ground and grunt in a desperate attempt to attract attention. If you are really as strong as you would like, then you wouldn't have to throw the weights like this.
    there will be more

  8. #8
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    keep ure eyes to ureself?

    sorry but thats pretty dumb, i learn by lookin at other ppl and didnt know it was a crime to check wat other ppl are doin
    "a scientist who works out, your like Indiana Jones"..."I AM LIKE INDIANA JONES"

    "dont hate me cause im beautiful baby, hate me cause your mother thinks so"

  9. #9
    You Lack Intensity!!!!
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    it is when you are in there going about your business and some clown is staring at you the entire time. I have said things to people before when they couldn't look away, it bothers me. It is one thing to look in a sly way, it is another thing to sit and stare at someone, WTF. You are not there to check people out are you, you should be there to train and leave, don't worry about other people and what they are doing, that isn't going to help you.

  10. #10
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    well staring is rude in any situation, but having a look how someone is performin an exercise i dunno i just think thats a way to learn
    "a scientist who works out, your like Indiana Jones"..."I AM LIKE INDIANA JONES"

    "dont hate me cause im beautiful baby, hate me cause your mother thinks so"

  11. #11
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    Some people are just a "train wreck", You know you shouldn't stair but you just can't help yourself.
    Cool

  12. #12
    Rhino

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    1. Avoid stations/CD's with comedy on the weight room boombox. I don't wanna hear bob and tom tell a gay bar joke while im doing a max bench!

    2. If you're my spotter, don't speak unless spoken too. If someone starts screaming at me at the top of their lungs " Cmon! LIFT IT! YOU CAN DO IT!" it totally messes up my concentration.

    3. I am more than happy to answer your questions about supps, but I don't need to hear how your mom's a bitch cause she won't let you take creatine!

    4. Keep your girlfriend out of the weight room. If I see her up there for any reason other than lifting/exercising, I'm gonna pimp slap her!

    5. If you need to rest, that's fine. But there are designated places to do it. If you sit on the last aviable incline bench press for any more than 10 seconds after your finished, your going to die.
    back for the first time....

  13. #13
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    lol should be more like "keep your girlfreind away, cause if she comes in wit you, sheel be leavin wit me" hehe
    "a scientist who works out, your like Indiana Jones"..."I AM LIKE INDIANA JONES"

    "dont hate me cause im beautiful baby, hate me cause your mother thinks so"

  14. #14
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    I really hate the guys that do this!!

    a) Don't step in front of or near someone doing an excersize so that the lifter has to stop their complicated movement so you can pick up 10lb dumbells to do wrist curls!!!!

    ditto to what everyone else has said.....

  15. #15
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    Originally posted by beta1770
    I really hate the guys that do this!!

    a) Don't step in front of or near someone doing an excersize so that the lifter has to stop their complicated movement so you can pick up 10lb dumbells to do wrist curls!!!!
    Right on !

    Reminds me of a funny story. I had an elderly lady at my gym turn it all around on me - seems I was at "her" workout station and she was not going to take any exercises out of order. I was using both sides of the pulley tower to perform some final finishing movements on inner pec area (bent-foward cable crossovers) and she just walked up between my 1 minute set break and took a hold of one of the cable handes, unpinned my weights and went to town. She used the pulley weight by itself to work her wrists (but I think she was wanting to work her biceps). I stood there for 5 minutes politely watching before I gave up, chuckled and walked over to the other tower system to finish my work out. I noticed that she was still at it working the same wrist 15 minutes later as I was leaving the gym to go home...
    "Doc, If I had known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself..."

    Est unusquisque faber ipsae suae fortunae.

    We Americans scoff at the likes of African witch doctors yet spend 100's of millions of dollars on fake reducing systems.

    The only regular exercise he gets is stretching the truth.

    His intellect is not replenished, he is only an animal, only sensible in the duller parts...

  16. #16
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    Bumping this again to add recent stories.

    I just loaded up the Smith Machine recently at my gym with 4 plates on each side and was sitting on the bar adjusting my lifting straps and getting psyched for my first pyramid-up set for heavy shrugs. I tangentially was aware of an old guy at the hammer machine next to me fiddling around on my rack looking for weights. I get into position, start taking deep breaths and am about a millisecond from engaging with my legs to get the bar up and start the exercise when this old man slides one of my plates off my machine bar!! I freak out and am dumfounded. It’s kind of like being interrupted in the middle of sex lol. I look over at him and say “ahm, excuse me sir but I was using that plate.” The old man looks at me, and drops his jaw and says “oh sorry there, ha-ha. I thought that plate was coming off the rack pins and was not in use. You shouldn’t use that much weight anyway, it’s not fair to the rest of us to have to go hunt around the gym for extra plates.” I just chuckled, shook my head and couldn’t lift anything heavy for the rest of the day I was so defocused.
    "Doc, If I had known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself..."

    Est unusquisque faber ipsae suae fortunae.

    We Americans scoff at the likes of African witch doctors yet spend 100's of millions of dollars on fake reducing systems.

    The only regular exercise he gets is stretching the truth.

    His intellect is not replenished, he is only an animal, only sensible in the duller parts...

  17. #17
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    The spandex one is funny. Nothing like accidentally catching a glimpse of a 250 lb. chick with 50% bodyfat wearing tight spandex bending over to get a weight.
    Homer: Hey! I saved your life! That egg sandwich could have killed you by cholesterol.
    Lenny: Pfft, forget it, Homer. While it has been established that eggs contain cholesterol, it has not yet been proven conclusively that they actually raise the level of serum cholesterol in the human
    blood stream.


  18. #18
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    Ditto to all of these posts.

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    yeah if i am doing flyes with cables or incline bench presses and u want to "work in" with me, u better not take 5 min to stand around, talk to your buddy, get ready, get psyched up. I got places to go, things to do.I didnt come to the gym to wait on your ass. And if u want to ask me a question, give me a call but don't interrupt me during a lift or else i will go off on you.
    \\\\\Oh yeah here's another.If u want me to give you a spot, u better work it right then and there.
    ///If i got my fucking towel on the machine, it's taken.Don't sit down and start using.Or even worse, don't throw the towel on the ground. I am liable to kick your ass.
    Chuck Norris once lost his keys and couldn't remember where he put them. So he tortured himself for half an hour until he gave up their location.

  20. #20
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    Originally posted by oaktownboy
    ///If i got my [beeping] towel on the machine, it's taken.Don't sit down and start using.Or even worse, don't throw the towel on the ground. I am liable to kick your ass.
    Yea, the reason the towel is mandatory in the gym is that it has become the universally accepted “marker” to indicate this machine or rack or bench “is taken”.

    Just 3 days ago an older women who has been trying like hell to get my attention for the last few months just about had me go off on her. She is always following me around the gym with her lady friends and talking and giggling and going out of her way to get in my way so I have to say hello or for me to acknowledge her existence. She walks in front of me, take detours around equipment, stand in front of me in the mirrors etc. I personally find this women revolting to look at since she has a butch haircut has skin of a 60 year old and has a huge pot belly and she wears tights with kinky colors and has a dominate type-A personality. You get the picture – defiantly something weird with her and I want no part of her. So 3 days ago I am doing some serious tricept workouts on the high pulley. Our gym has 4 of these and the other 3 are not in use. I have a very specific routine I use with timed rest periods etc. In other words I can’t tolerate any small talk or chit chat etc. So after a four really tough sets I decide to go refill my water bottle real fast. Since I suspected she would pull some crap on me I kept looking over my shoulder and took literally 30 seconds to more water. No sooner as I started coming back she jumped on my pulley and swapped out my rope attachment, changed my weights and started going to town with 10 lbs of weight. She moved my towel and other gear I had on the hook next to the station and put her stuff there. I was pissed and ready to kill! So I calmly say “excuse me but I AM WORKING HERE STILL” in a very firm voice and with a definite edge of anger. She then says “oh, I’m so sorry I thought you were done” and then puts her fat hands all over me and starts patting me on the back and shoulders and grabbing onto my arms making a big scene out of it. I told her very harshly “do NOT EVER touch me when I am working out and stay away from me.”. I just lost it – first time in my life I about hit a woman.
    "Doc, If I had known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself..."

    Est unusquisque faber ipsae suae fortunae.

    We Americans scoff at the likes of African witch doctors yet spend 100's of millions of dollars on fake reducing systems.

    The only regular exercise he gets is stretching the truth.

    His intellect is not replenished, he is only an animal, only sensible in the duller parts...

  21. #21
    Arnold is Numero Uno

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    Rule #1: Don't even talk to me, unless you're spoken to. You're lucky if i even smile at you.

    Rule #2: If we do talk, it's cuz i'm asking you for a spot or something else of importance.

    Rule #3 (which applies to 90% of people who workout): Learn the mind to muscle thing, otherwise, you're wasting your time.

  22. #22
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    So OceanDude did you take this queen out after your workout for a smoothie.

  23. #23
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    Originally posted by OceanDude
    Yea, the reason the towel is mandatory in the gym is that it has become the universally accepted “marker” to indicate this machine or rack or bench “is taken”.

    Just 3 days ago an older women who has been trying like hell to get my attention for the last few months just about had me go off on her. She is always following me around the gym with her lady friends and talking and giggling and going out of her way to get in my way so I have to say hello or for me to acknowledge her existence. She walks in front of me, take detours around equipment, stand in front of me in the mirrors etc. I personally find this women revolting to look at since she has a butch haircut has skin of a 60 year old and has a huge pot belly and she wears tights with kinky colors and has a dominate type-A personality. You get the picture – defiantly something weird with her and I want no part of her. So 3 days ago I am doing some serious tricept workouts on the high pulley. Our gym has 4 of these and the other 3 are not in use. I have a very specific routine I use with timed rest periods etc. In other words I can’t tolerate any small talk or chit chat etc. So after a four really tough sets I decide to go refill my water bottle real fast. Since I suspected she would pull some crap on me I kept looking over my shoulder and took literally 30 seconds to more water. No sooner as I started coming back she jumped on my pulley and swapped out my rope attachment, changed my weights and started going to town with 10 lbs of weight. She moved my towel and other gear I had on the hook next to the station and put her stuff there. I was pissed and ready to kill! So I calmly say “excuse me but I AM WORKING HERE STILL” in a very firm voice and with a definite edge of anger. She then says “oh, I’m so sorry I thought you were done” and then puts her fat hands all over me and starts patting me on the back and shoulders and grabbing onto my arms making a big scene out of it. I told her very harshly “do NOT EVER touch me when I am working out and stay away from me.”. I just lost it – first time in my life I about hit a woman.
    haha that's great...

  24. #24
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    Question

    I don't belong to a gym at this time, but have in the past.
    Sometimes when it gets crowded, and a guy will be using
    a certain piece of equipment, if this person appears to be
    taking some time between sets, I don't mind asking if I can
    if I can jump in and do some sets. Most people don't seem
    to mind and I consider this a proper gym etiquette.
    Am I wrong here?

    As for some overweight person letting it all hang out, it really doesn't bother me, I'm just glad they are trying to improve themselves.

    What does bother me when a very attractive well built woman
    will wear hardly nothing, just to get some attention. I understand
    that some clothing can hinder some movements, but come on!

    Jim
    Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.
    Yogi Berra

  25. #25
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    I know what you mean. When I used to train at an expensive gym there was an elderly lady who trained there, used to go on the seated leg curl and put on 10 kgs, she'd push as hard as she could, and was only able to lift it half way up, and she refused to lower the weight. anyways she became all hot and sweaty and her purple t-shirt was soon wringing wet, she then went onto the treadmill and started to jog slowly on it with the sweat raining off of her, the worst thing off all is the she kept looking over at me and smiling, and well she was around 50 and wasn't even wearing a bra. YEURK
    "Lift big, eat big, rest big"
    "Rome wasnt built in a day"
    "Go heavy or go home."

  26. #26
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    Originally posted by Shmoo
    So OceanDude did you take this queen out after your workout for a smoothie.
    You must be joking. shw makes me want to vomit everytime I see her. I even change my gym times to avoid her.
    "Doc, If I had known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself..."

    Est unusquisque faber ipsae suae fortunae.

    We Americans scoff at the likes of African witch doctors yet spend 100's of millions of dollars on fake reducing systems.

    The only regular exercise he gets is stretching the truth.

    His intellect is not replenished, he is only an animal, only sensible in the duller parts...

  27. #27
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    I started going to the weight place with my uncle Stanley and here is one rule I would like to say:

    Please do NOT punch me in the throat when I am doing the deadlifts or squatters. I HATE that more than anything and it makes me not able to breathe for a while. Thank you.

  28. #28
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    Originally posted by OceanDude
    You must be joking. shw makes me want to vomit everytime I see her. I even change my gym times to avoid her.
    Dude, you shouldn't have to change your times just to avoid her. I'd recommend speaking to the manager and having him talk to her. If she gets embarrased then too bad. Let him know that if he's not careful he could have a sexual harassment suit on his hands, and let her know as well. I have had to have that "talk" with gym members (usually guys, but oh well) and it's always awkward but it gets the job done.

    IMO her behaviour (unwanted touching) is almost assault. Imagine if you were a girl and that was a guy, it wouldn't be tolerated by anyone.

    My biggest gym pet peeve is the guy that thinks he knows everything and gives advice, and it's always WRONG. It's always funny when they don't know who I am and start giving me advice even though I run the place. Good way to get humiliated.
    Today I can do what others will not so that tomorrow I will do what others cannot.

    The difference between winners and losers is that winners do things that losers don't want to do.

  29. #29
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    Originally posted by Jim1954
    I don't belong to a gym at this time, but have in the past.
    Sometimes when it gets crowded, and a guy will be using
    a certain piece of equipment, if this person appears to be
    taking some time between sets, I don't mind asking if I can
    if I can jump in and do some sets. Most people don't seem
    to mind and I consider this a proper gym etiquette.
    Am I wrong here?

    As for some overweight person letting it all hang out, it really doesn't bother me, I'm just glad they are trying to improve themselves.

    What does bother me when a very attractive well built woman
    will wear hardly nothing, just to get some attention. I understand
    that some clothing can hinder some movements, but come on!

    Jim
    No, you are not wrong asking to work in on machines since the weights can be changed out fast. But of course if there are more than one of the same or similar machine - don't interfere unless you have to. I usually just go work another exercise and come back as soon as a machine is freed up becuase I don't want to break anyone's concentration though.

    I hear you about the "attractively" provacative ones. I agree 100%. Women should not go out of their way to look hot in the gym since it's a distraction. I am pretty disciplined so it does not bother me too much but some of the real young guys totally lose it and can't concentrate when these kind come into the gym and start putting on a show. Only one time did I get "bothered" by it was when a young and attractive women was doing bench presses with no bra and wearing a men's sleeveless lifting shirt. Everything fell out onto the bench and it was not so much erotic as it was a freak show since she was obviously 2 cup sizes bigger than her natural body size should dhave permitted her to be.
    "Doc, If I had known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself..."

    Est unusquisque faber ipsae suae fortunae.

    We Americans scoff at the likes of African witch doctors yet spend 100's of millions of dollars on fake reducing systems.

    The only regular exercise he gets is stretching the truth.

    His intellect is not replenished, he is only an animal, only sensible in the duller parts...

  30. #30
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    OceanDude,

    There was this gal, really hot looking, and she was wearing these red thin leotard things, and the back pulled up the crack of her ass. But at least she had natural breasts.



    Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.
    Yogi Berra

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