Whens the last time you kicked someones ass?

**ghandi** · 09-22-2003, 03:58 PM

There is a great line in the film the wedding singer that goes something along the lines of 'i've not been in a fight since i was in fourth grade, but i kicked that guys ass and i'm gonna do the same to you' I am a law abiding citizen apart from the odd doobie and of a fairly easy going nature and i too had not been in a fight since my school days.

However whilst out in my home town of Northampton the other month my clean sheet in terms of post school ground fisticuffs was blemished. I usually avoid going out at night in the town centre as i am more a pub man than a club man and our town at night tends to be full of drunken dickheads looking for trouble.

Anyway i had gone out this one weekend nd ended up in a bar where one of the guys i train with was head doorman, so we popped in to see him It was his night off however but we decided to stay for a drink. Anyway some scrawny pencil necked clown with some equally weasil faced mates came up to me and my mate and asked if we had a spare cigarette (bad habit i know but a hard one to break).

Only having a couple left in the pack and being of a generally tight fisted disposition my mate pointed the pencil neck in the direction of the cigarette machine in the corner of the room. Anyway this young chump took exception to this and decided to mouth off at my mate.

We were both still sober and i was kind of bemused by the situation. My mate is about 5'6 and weighs about 17 stone, the words brick shithouse tend to come to mind if asked to describe his stature. The guy is built like a small bull. I am 6 foot and at the time i was a lean 14 stone. Then there was this gang of scrawny scumbags having the audacity to try and take us on.

Anyway mistaking my friends tolerance for weakness one of these jokers seeing me sniggering at his mates pathetic attempt to intimidate a man 10 stone heavier than himself, decided to come at me bobbing and weaving like prince naseem hamed.

Now being a sane right minded individual i know that i would not consider starting on someone twice my size unless i had something up my sleeve. As no one with the slightest hint of intelligence would to my mind start a fight with someone that much bigger unless they were some king of kung fu expert. For a minute there it flashed through my mind 'is this guy bruce lee's spotty white brother or is he a complete fuckwit?'

Well it soon became obvious he was the later, as he moved towards me lining up a feeble punch i gave him a fairly firm boot to the side of his knee, hard and low. This sent the little muppet crashing to the floor at the feet of his mates. When i looked over to my mate he was pummelling the first guy black and blue (he later told me the guy had picked up a bottle and tried to take a swipe at my mate with it.

The bouncer's then came over and knowing we we're friends of the head doorman proceeded to chuck the hapless gang of chumps out of the back door. Anyway hardly Lewis vs Tyson but that was the last time i was involved in any physical conflict.

Remember: Peace is maintained by the projection of superior fire power. This applies to pubs as much as it does to world politics, however you always get some idiot or other that fancies their chances. Saddam Hussein being a prime example.

So i would like to know when was the last time you kicked someone's ass?

**david** · 09-22-2003, 04:44 PM

As an ex-bouncer, I don't start fights, I break them up (or attempt to.)

Maybe Burner and IT can add their 2 cents now.... let's see what they have to say!

**Leslie** · 09-22-2003, 05:40 PM

I have never been involved in a brawl. Part of me is sad about that as I think it would be a great stress reliever to kick someone's ass

**Mindless** · 09-22-2003, 06:02 PM

One of the reasons I started weight lifting, fighting is good but neither is being bushed around/ being beaten up.

**Mindless** · 09-22-2003, 06:04 PM

Hehe ment too right fighting is not good. An accident...I promise

**P-funk** · 09-22-2003, 06:20 PM

I hope I never get in another fight again.....I hate fighting.

**nikegurl** · 09-22-2003, 07:31 PM

if I were to say Sunday would that be a bad thing? i'm mostly kidding.

**ZECH** · 09-22-2003, 07:47 PM

I broke up a guy and girl screwing on a school bus Saturday. Does that count?

**Dale Mabry** · 09-22-2003, 08:07 PM

People are always trying to get into it with me for some reason, I tend to ignore them or just walk away.

**derekisdman** · 09-22-2003, 10:40 PM

I've never been in a fight - how much could I know aobut myself if i've never been in a fight huh? The only reason I would want to be in one is just so I can see what it's like and how i'd do. I just don't want to mess up my pretty face or get a tooth knocked out or something

**TheGreatSatan** · 09-22-2003, 11:03 PM

I'm a cop, I have to kick ass.

And it's fun too.

**Flex** · 09-22-2003, 11:32 PM

derekisdman...you do learn alot about yourself when you get in a fight, thats the honest to god truth.

personally, i've been in many fights in my life, and i'm still young. i've beaten some serious ass, but only to the point where they stop fighting back. once i know they are not fighting anymore, I USUALLY stop. Funny thing is, I am always the one that tries to tell the kids to get outta here before something bad happens. i've never gotten my ass beat yet, and i think i can attribute that to me NEVER having ever started it (i have never instagated a fight)...."i don't initiate, i retaliate".

Personally, i love beating kids that talk shit when they're with their boys the most. Most need a lot of alcohol before they talk shit too, then they become the toughest guys ever, until they are lying on the ground in their own blood.

Man, got some great memories....

"You can't touch the champs chest"....

**Flex** · 09-22-2003, 11:35 PM

dkidsman...only thing is, don't go looking for trouble. that's when you get yourself in trouble. if its you or your boys being the dickheads, then calm yourself or relax your boys, cuz that's when it usually backfires.

BUT, if and when the time comes, and people start with you, then show 'em what you're made of....unleash hell.

**Tha Don** · 09-23-2003, 01:32 AM

its kinda strange but I was always in scraps as a kid in school (junior school and secondry school)

Then since i've been at college I've only been in 1 fight (which was hardly a 'fight' I just hit this guy a few times and he didn't hit me back)

I seem to get really nervous now when I think about fighting another dude (I didn't used to give a f**k but now I do) no matter how big/small/hard/pussy he is. I don't understand it really but I just think its best I stay outta trouble anyway

**I Are Baboon** · 09-23-2003, 06:04 AM

I grew up in a bad neighborhood and fought all the time as a kid. You have to in that situation to earn respect or you get bullied to no end. But, I grew out of that crap. The last time I was involved in a "fight" was 15 years ago in high school. It wasn't really a fight, it was me puching a kid in the face because he was annoying me. In retrospect, I feel really bad about that. He didn't deserve the punch, but it was all I knew.

**david** · 09-23-2003, 06:15 AM

Originally posted by dg806
I broke up a guy and girl screwing on a school bus Saturday. Does that count?

that counts.... ummmnnn very interesting. I'm afraid to ask their ages!

**ZECH** · 09-23-2003, 06:54 AM

Originally posted by david
that counts.... ummmnnn very interesting. I'm afraid to ask their ages!

Guy 20, girl 17.

**gopro** · 09-23-2003, 08:35 AM

I kick my own ass in the gym everyday...that count?

**derekisdman** · 09-23-2003, 08:48 AM

I've got a friend who thinks hes some kind of tough guy and he gets on my nerves. He thinks he can take anyone and he's never even fought. Even though he's my friend I would absolutely love to see him fight and just totally get rampaged - I think that would show him a thing or two and put him in his place. Is that wrong ya think?

By the way have any of you seen that video of the skateboarder; I think his name was Mike Valley. He just starts fighting with these three guys all by himself and takes them all, it's awesome.

**Mudge** · 09-23-2003, 10:01 AM

Other than myself I've never kicked anyones ass in my life.

**wraith** · 09-23-2003, 10:40 AM

im not racist ,but apparently some people are ,when i was in school (i went to a school predominant with indian kids and i dont show any indian) although i have a little ,i was always getting picked at ,white boy this and white boy that ,funy how if you kick a few injun asses it doesnt matter if your white any more they all respect you ,

**gr81** · 09-23-2003, 03:13 PM

I have been on both ends of brawls and I don't look for fights by anymeans. it has been some time though for me which is good, probably b/c of the people I used to surround myself with. Usually if you are getting into a fight it is over some BS that shouldn't be going on, people over reacting or being irrational, but most of all I have learned insecurity is a trait that fits people that are always trying to fight others IMO, like what are you trying to prove. I like to think of myself more mature nowadays that fighting wouldn't be an option lower down on the list. I ain't afraid to handle my business though, believe that

**Dale Mabry** · 09-23-2003, 09:16 PM

Actually, here is a true story from Florida. I was standing around at a club minding my business, when some guy just came up to me and punched me in the face. I fell backwards into a crowd of people who grabbed me and pushed me back at the guy. As I was hurling towards him, He cocked way back. At this point, I dropped to my knees and hammered him in the nuts. After that I sat up to get away and then like 6 guys started putting the boots to both of us. That is another reason why I don't fight, I would rather grapple and generally that gets you stomped.

**BUSTINOUT** · 09-24-2003, 05:57 PM

Fighting days are over. Did quite a bit in college while partying in Mexico or working concert security. Fighting sucks. The older you get, the better you get at verbally kicking ass. lol

**gopro** · 09-25-2003, 08:54 AM

Girls are the best "ass-kickers" around. Best thing to do with a girl is to just say, "yes dear."

**kdwa1** · 09-25-2003, 10:22 AM

Lots of fun and blood in high school but of course got over it by Senior year.Really didn't like it too much but still feel like it at times if someone wants to F with me.Especially when on testosterone.Had a guy in the gym today spitting all over the steam room floor and it felt good telling him where to get off.It's better to kick ass verbally I agree.But sometimes you know someone needs a good smack up the side of the head.Gotta control
because actually violence is immature.Feels good to think about though.It's pretty cool to work out the aggression in a Dojo doing some Kung Fu or Tai Kwan Do.I'm in Taiwan and everybody loves martial arts and knives here so I try to avoid fights

Be cool.

**Mudge** · 09-25-2003, 11:02 AM

Originally posted by dg806
Guy 20, girl 17.

Talk about asking for prison time, stupid

**Mudge** · 09-25-2003, 11:05 AM

Originally posted by Dale Mabry
Actually, here is a true story from Florida.

what a bunch of bullsh!t, people suck ass sometimes.

**ogabott** · 09-25-2003, 02:19 PM

I hate people who start fights, unless there is a good reason. If i have to, i'll fight.
last time? summer sometime. Im still in college, and fights never end...

**IMOK** · 09-25-2003, 08:44 PM

I haven't been in a fight in quite sometime. I never was the type to start stuff, but i definetally wasn't the type to run away from trouble when it was about to go down.The last fight that I had was in March of 2001. It was in a night club. The fight ended with me getting stabbed, bleeding all over the place, having a operation, was in the hospital(plus i couldn't lift for 8 weeks and lost over 20 pounds. I got to hear everyone comment how small i looked which didnt really cheer me up)for some time, and making me feel like i wasn't invincable anymore. The DR said I would have died had it not been for one person that rushed to help me. These days I avoid situations. No one fights fair anymore. People are too scared to fight one on one. Its funny because the fight i was in wasn't even really my fight. Some guy thought my friend was looking at his gf, and said something to him. The guy was alot bigger than my friend so I stepped in, and we started going at it. After that I realized its sometimes better to go home with a hurt ego, than go away in a ambulance.

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