How to Gain Fat (good article)

**P-funk** · 09-14-2006, 11:42 AM

Written by Rachel Cosgrove.

Quote:

This article appears courtesy of www.rachelcosgrove.com

Top 5 Ways to GAIN Body Fat
by Rachel Cosgrove

Are you looking to put on a little extra pudge to keep warm? Maybe your boyfriend or husband wants to see "more" of you? How can you put on that extra layer of fat you've always wanted to fill out your jeans? Follow these five recommendations and you'll be on your way!

1. Do long, slow aerobic exercise every day.

The more aerobics you do, the more your metabolism can slow down, the more efficient your body will be at storing fat, especially if you're looking to gain some size on your thighs!

Recommendation: Go to the gym every single day and find a treadmill or Stairmaster where you can watch TV while you're working out. After all, you're going to be there for a while. Do at least an hour per day, seven days per week at a very steady state (you should be able to carry on a conversation easily the entire workout).

Why it works to store fat: Your body will actually use fat as fuel during this workout (you should be in the "fat burning zone") which will create the perfect effect we want for the other 23 hours of the day - fat storing mode. Yes, your body will adapt to become efficient at storing fat.

This workout will do nothing to increase your metabolism either. You'll burn off muscle, decreasing your lean muscle mass, and actually slow down your metabolism.

So get to the gym and start spending countless hours doing aerobics, burning off muscle, and turning your body into a fat storing machine! This is a perfect way to gain some body fat!

2. Follow a low fat, low calorie diet... and don't drink any water.

The less you eat, the lower your metabolism will go, which is optimal for storing body fat.

Recommendation: Keep your calories very low and deprive your body. Keep your calories around 1000-1200 per day (which is starving) and don't eat more than 15 to 20 grams of fat per day. You want your body to think it's starving so it'll hold on to body fat at all costs. Also, don't drink any water. Drink juice instead; it'll work wonders for expanding your waistline.

Why it works to store body fat: Every time you eat, your metabolism goes up. This isn't good when you're trying to store fat. Eating enough food will fuel fat burning, the opposite of what we want. You want your body to be in fat storing mode, which is best accomplished by depriving it.

Also, count your fat grams and keep your dietary fat levels low. This will teach your body to hold on to fat, another excellent method for putting on that extra adipose tissue (body fat)! And drinking water will only cause you to drop any excess water you're holding, therefore keep the water consumption low to keep you fat and bloated!

3. Avoid weight training at all costs!

Increasing your lean body mass is the best way to increase your metabolism to burn fat. So stay away from any weight training!

Recommendation: Don't touch the weights in the gym. Or, if you do, only lift ones that are small enough not to build any muscle (you know the ones - the little pink dumbbells in the ladies-only room).

Why it works to store fat: The goal is to keep your metabolism as low as possible to turn your body into a fat storing machine. Any lean muscle would be bad news when you're trying to gain fat because it would increase your metabolism and cause you to burn more calories! Also, weight training will raise your metabolism for the next 24 to 48 hours, which will never work to get that body fat up!

4. Eat only 1-2 meals a day!

Eating meals less frequently is a great way to keep your metabolism in the gutter all day long and will be ideal for storing fat.

Recommendation: The less often you eat, the better. If you can distract yourself all day and skip a couple of meals, you'll set yourself up perfectly to store fat. And never eat breakfast to assure that you start your day off in a fat storing mode. For best results, don't eat anything until dinner and then just eat the one meal before you fast again overnight.

Why this works to store fat: Again, every time you eat, your metabolism increases. If you skip a meal, your metabolism will drop, and if you skip more then one meal you can get that metabolism running very slow - perfect for storing body fat. Having a sluggish metabolism is ideal if you want to put on the chub, and this is a great way to achieve it.

5. Perform the exact same workout over and over without ever increasing the intensity.

Doing the same workout each time will confirm that you haven't become any stronger or more fit, but instead have stayed exactly the same or become worse.

Recommendation: Go to the gym every day and do the exact same thing. Get on the same cardio machine, in front of the same television, and walk the same speed everyday.

Why this works to store fat: This will ensure that you don't gain any lean body mass and that your workout won't limit your fat storing capabilities. You don't ever want to push yourself harder than you're used to.

Follow these guidelines to an all new, plumper you!

Wait just a darn minute...

Hold on. You say you want to lose body fat? Oh, okay, then make sure you aren't making the mistake of following any of the above guidelines! You'd actually want to do the exact opposite of each of the above rules to see a leaner physique in the mirror.

For a leaner, sexier you:

1) Do interval training instead of steady state aerobics to increase your metabolism and get your body revving to burn fat all day long. So, instead of walking on a treadmill at the same pace for 30 minutes, you'd walk two minutes then run for a minute or two, then walk again. Alternate between high and low intensity. You can do the same on an exercise bike or whatever activity you choose. This works extremely well for fat loss!

2) Fuel your body with high quality protein, complex carbohydrates, and good fats. Your calories should not drop below 1400 to 1500 per day and your fat intake should be 30% of your diet. This will keep your metabolism burning hot - perfect for fat loss.

3) Lift weights and don't be afraid to push yourself beyond what you're used to; that's how you get your body to change for the better. Every ounce of muscle you put on will increase your metabolism and keep you in a constant fat burning state! And remember, weight training doesn't make women big; it makes them firm.

4) Eat 5-6 meals a day. Every time you eat, your metabolism goes up, so eat something healthy every couple of hours to keep your body revved up to burn fat.

5) Change your workout every 4-6 weeks. Your body will adapt and you'll need a change to create a new stimulus to continue building muscle and burning fat!

May you reach all your goals and get the body of your dreams! Stay focused!

AKIRA · 09-14-2006, 01:00 PM

"1. Do long, slow aerobic exercise every day.

The more aerobics you do, the more your metabolism can slow down, the more efficient your body will be at storing fat, especially if you're looking to gain some size on your thighs!

Recommendation: Go to the gym every single day and find a treadmill or Stairmaster where you can watch TV while you're working out. After all, you're going to be there for a while. Do at least an hour per day, seven days per week at a very steady state (you should be able to carry on a conversation easily the entire workout).

Why it works to store fat: Your body will actually use fat as fuel during this workout (you should be in the "fat burning zone") which will create the perfect effect we want for the other 23 hours of the day - fat storing mode. Yes, your body will adapt to become efficient at storing fat.

This workout will do nothing to increase your metabolism either. You'll burn off muscle, decreasing your lean muscle mass, and actually slow down your metabolism.

So get to the gym and start spending countless hours doing aerobics, burning off muscle, and turning your body into a fat storing machine! This is a perfect way to gain some body fat!"

I am not exactly sure why number 1's is considered a way to gain weight. Though I dont think walking for 1 hour is considered optimum, I just dont understand why its counter-productive really. I mean, youre still burning calories and an hour of slow, long cardio is a lot to ask for from some fat ass thats too lazy to take the stairs.

I love this: "And remember, weight training doesn't make women big; it makes them firm." Do you know how many fucking times I have to explain this to women?????

**P-funk** · 09-14-2006, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AKIRA

"1. Do long, slow aerobic exercise every day.

The more aerobics you do, the more your metabolism can slow down, the more efficient your body will be at storing fat, especially if you're looking to gain some size on your thighs!

Recommendation: Go to the gym every single day and find a treadmill or Stairmaster where you can watch TV while you're working out. After all, you're going to be there for a while. Do at least an hour per day, seven days per week at a very steady state (you should be able to carry on a conversation easily the entire workout).

Why it works to store fat: Your body will actually use fat as fuel during this workout (you should be in the "fat burning zone") which will create the perfect effect we want for the other 23 hours of the day - fat storing mode. Yes, your body will adapt to become efficient at storing fat.

This workout will do nothing to increase your metabolism either. You'll burn off muscle, decreasing your lean muscle mass, and actually slow down your metabolism.

So get to the gym and start spending countless hours doing aerobics, burning off muscle, and turning your body into a fat storing machine! This is a perfect way to gain some body fat!"

I am not exactly sure why number 1's is considered a way to gain weight. Though I dont think walking for 1 hour is considered optimum, I just dont understand why its counter-productive really. I mean, youre still burning calories and an hour of slow, long cardio is a lot to ask for from some fat ass thats too lazy to take the stairs.

I love this: "And remember, weight training doesn't make women big; it makes them firm." Do you know how many fucking times I have to explain this to women?????

It is counterproductive if it is ALL THAT YOU DO. Think the woman who are on the elliptical every morning, everyday, for the past 6 years and never change.

Raz · 09-14-2006, 02:22 PM

Good read, P-Funk do you have any articles on the whole concept of 'calories' ? As in calories in 'vs' calories out, for weight management.

**P-funk** · 09-14-2006, 02:24 PM

any articles on it?

I don't think so. Just pick up an exercise physiology textbook and you can read about all that stuff.

fufu · 09-14-2006, 02:32 PM

Great read P-Funk. I walk constantly at college(huge campus), I wonder if it will effect me in fat gaining way.

Raz · 09-14-2006, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by P-funk

any articles on it?

I don't think so. Just pick up an exercise physiology textbook and you can read about all that stuff.

Okay thanks anyway... I have been trying to do some research on this subject but I havn't found much. I just rely on the expert's advice that 'caloric needs' is the ONLY way to acheive body alterations. I dunno if that sounds abit retarded, I cant explain myself properly.

By the way, I'm studying 'fitness instruction' at college at the moment its a 'YMCA' qualification. Dunno if many are familiar with this.

Raz · 09-14-2006, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fufu

Great read P-Funk. I walk constantly at college(huge campus), I wonder if it will effect me in fat gaining way.

It wont if your 'caloric intake' is intact, Or so they say.

**P-funk** · 09-14-2006, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fufu

Great read P-Funk. I walk constantly at college(huge campus), I wonder if it will effect me in fat gaining way.

UMass?

I ride my bike to work (6 miles there and back) 3-4x's a week.

Raz- try and do a search for some of Lyle McDonald's articles on the topic. he does a great job of breaking it down and explaining things in an easy to understand way. I have never heard of the certification you doing at the YMCA. What are you studying in college? Exercise Science?

Raz · 09-14-2006, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by P-funk

Raz- try and do a search for some of Lyle McDonald's articles on the topic. he does a great job of breaking it down and explaining things in an easy to understand way. I have never heard of the certification you doing at the YMCA. What are you studying in college? Exercise Science?

Thanks alot, I will do that.

Nope, The course is named 'Fitness Instruction' and it isnt for progressing onto University, it is recognised by gyms/health clubs etc. I choose it because I'd like to that and its just a 1yr course.

I could have done 'National Development In Sports And Fitness' which is a 'BTEC' qualification. I choose not to because it is usually done to progress to Uni and is a 2yr course.

Seanp156 · 09-14-2006, 02:46 PM

Great article P-funk, I might have to see if I can post this in the rec center somewhere...

fufu · 09-14-2006, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by P-funk

UMass?

I ride my bike to work (6 miles there and back) 3-4x's a week.

Raz- try and do a search for some of Lyle McDonald's articles on the topic. he does a great job of breaking it down and explaining things in an easy to understand way. I have never heard of the certification you doing at the YMCA. What are you studying in college? Exercise Science?

Yep, I walk between 1 1/2-2 hours everyday.

PWGriffin · 09-14-2006, 02:56 PM

I will be printing this out and giving it to all of my clients tomorrow. I think it helps being written by a woman as well.

Thanks Funk you da man.

TJ Cline · 09-14-2006, 02:59 PM

2 Follow a low fat, low calorie diet... and don't drink any water.

Well drink no water and you will be dead soon, so that comment is just stupid.

Other than that I got down to 4% Body Fat eating very low fat and low cal. Was not the best diet but it worked well for me and many other people I knew at the time.

**P-funk** · 09-14-2006, 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ForemanRules

2 Follow a low fat, low calorie diet... and don't drink any water.

Well drink no water and you will be dead soon, so that comment is just stupid.

Other than that I got down to 4% Body Fat eating very low fat and low cal. Was not the best diet but it worked well for me and many other people I knew at the time.

yea, I still contend that overal caloric intake is more important then any one macro nutrient when losing weight.

lol, I don't know where she was going with the water comment.

**P-funk** · 09-14-2006, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PWGriffin

I will be printing this out and giving it to all of my clients tomorrow. I think it helps being written by a woman as well.

Thanks Funk you da man.

Bingo!

It isn't the most scientific thing ever written (heck, it isn't really scientific at all).

What I like about it is that it is

a) common sense

and

b) it was written by a woman. we need more things like this written by women because most of the women in the gym are there to lose weight and still have the wrong idea of how to go about it. I wish more women would do stuff like this to help dispell the myths.

Raz · 09-14-2006, 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by P-funk

lol, I don't know where she was going with the water comment.

I certainly do, what she is trying to say is - swop pure water for diluted juices, to get some nice insulin spikes between meals.

Damn swoping juices for pure water made a heal of a difference for me! So i know where shes coming from.

**P-funk** · 09-14-2006, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raz

I certainly do, what she is trying to say is - swop pure water for diluted juices, to get some nice insulin spikes between meals.

Damn swoping juices for pure water made a heal of a difference for me! So i know where shes coming from.

but is drinking high amounts of juice something that people do because they feel it makes them loose fat? She is trying to dispel myths. If that is one of them, then it is news to me.

Raz · 09-14-2006, 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by P-funk

but is drinking high amounts of juice something that people do because they feel it makes them loose fat? She is trying to dispel myths. If that is one of them, then it is news to me.

Eh no, we are talking about the first section 'Gaining Fat' Drinking juices instead of water seems to be great for adding extra fat.

On the other hand, Pure Water would be an excellent source to help you loose weight because = no calories, no sugar, transportation of nutrients, seems to increase metabolism.

**P-funk** · 09-14-2006, 03:19 PM

i see what you are saying. i still think it was a strange comment.

Raz · 09-14-2006, 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by P-funk

i see what you are saying. i still think it was a strange comment.

Yes stating, dont drink ANY water was misleading, but metioning swoping pure water for a juice drink, however, is an excellent comment in what she is describing and being ironic/comical.

I agree it could have been elaborated a little better.

From my experience, drinking pure water throughout the day instead of tea,coffee, juices, sports drinks, etc. Made significant improvements to my body comp and is a great way to keep me lean, and im sure many others agree it works for them.

AKIRA · 09-14-2006, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by P-funk

It is counterproductive if it is ALL THAT YOU DO. Think the woman who are on the elliptical every morning, everyday, for the past 6 years and never change.

Counterproductive really? I know the body wouldve adapted by then, but to say that it would gain fat from doing it...I dont understand.

I can only see it doing nothing.

**P-funk** · 09-14-2006, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AKIRA

Counterproductive really? I know the body wouldve adapted by then, but to say that it would gain fat from doing it...I dont understand.

I can only see it doing nothing.

it might not gain fat....but it wont loose any either. think of someone that is skinny fat. really, I can't understand why this concept is so hard to grasp?

09-14-2006, 01:00 PM	#2
AKIRA I am Rollo Tomassee.. Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Outside the box Posts: 7,519 Photos: 3	"1. Do long, slow aerobic exercise every day. The more aerobics you do, the more your metabolism can slow down, the more efficient your body will be at storing fat, especially if you're looking to gain some size on your thighs! Recommendation: Go to the gym every single day and find a treadmill or Stairmaster where you can watch TV while you're working out. After all, you're going to be there for a while. Do at least an hour per day, seven days per week at a very steady state (you should be able to carry on a conversation easily the entire workout). Why it works to store fat: Your body will actually use fat as fuel during this workout (you should be in the "fat burning zone") which will create the perfect effect we want for the other 23 hours of the day - fat storing mode. Yes, your body will adapt to become efficient at storing fat. This workout will do nothing to increase your metabolism either. You'll burn off muscle, decreasing your lean muscle mass, and actually slow down your metabolism. So get to the gym and start spending countless hours doing aerobics, burning off muscle, and turning your body into a fat storing machine! This is a perfect way to gain some body fat!" I am not exactly sure why number 1's is considered a way to gain weight. Though I dont think walking for 1 hour is considered optimum, I just dont understand why its counter-productive really. I mean, youre still burning calories and an hour of slow, long cardio is a lot to ask for from some fat ass thats too lazy to take the stairs. I love this: "And remember, weight training doesn't make women big; it makes them firm." Do you know how many fucking times I have to explain this to women?????
	6' 209lbs (8/16) Bench 360 (11/29) Weighted Pullups 80lbs 3x3 (3/19) Squat 370 Deadlift after herniation 385lbs 3x3 (3/17) NASM certified 2/06 Journal

09-14-2006, 02:22 PM	#4
Raz Registered User Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: UK Posts: 505	Good read, P-Funk do you have any articles on the whole concept of 'calories' ? As in calories in 'vs' calories out, for weight management.
	Cow Pimp - If you don't train your legs you're a dumbfuck. I'm not going to elaborate on why. If it isn't obvious to you, then you deserve the marginal results that you get and hideously unbalanced/injury prone physique that you will build.

09-14-2006, 02:24 PM	#5
P-funk Patrick Super Moderator Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: AZ Posts: 30,280	any articles on it? I don't think so. Just pick up an exercise physiology textbook and you can read about all that stuff.
	http://pwtraining.blogspot.com/.....come and see what is on my mind! http://ivonneberkowitz.blogspot.com/....check out Ivonne's new blog! Optimum Sports Performance "In the beginners mind there are many possibilities, in the experts there are few." -Buddha's Little Instruction Book

09-14-2006, 02:32 PM	#6
fufu fiendish thingy Elite Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 15,733 Photos: 4	Great read P-Funk. I walk constantly at college(huge campus), I wonder if it will effect me in fat gaining way.
	fufu's 1337 Journal Your diet will set you free.

09-14-2006, 02:46 PM	#11
Seanp156 Myostatin Whore Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Columbus, Ohio Posts: 6,184 Photos: 11	Great article P-funk, I might have to see if I can post this in the rec center somewhere...
	My Journal

09-14-2006, 02:59 PM	#14
TJ Cline Member Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 12,544	2 Follow a low fat, low calorie diet... and don't drink any water. Well drink no water and you will be dead soon, so that comment is just stupid. Other than that I got down to 4% Body Fat eating very low fat and low cal. Was not the best diet but it worked well for me and many other people I knew at the time.
TJ Cline Member Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 12,544

09-14-2006, 03:19 PM	#20
P-funk Patrick Super Moderator Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: AZ Posts: 30,280	i see what you are saying. i still think it was a strange comment.
	http://pwtraining.blogspot.com/.....come and see what is on my mind! http://ivonneberkowitz.blogspot.com/....check out Ivonne's new blog! Optimum Sports Performance "In the beginners mind there are many possibilities, in the experts there are few." -Buddha's Little Instruction Book