Thread: Gym Idiot Sightings 2007

Originally Posted by ALBOB

I've done curls off the squat rack. Being able to suspend the bar on the rack makes it much easier to change plates. But rest assured, I only do it when there's nobody around who wants to do squats. If I see anybody who even remotely looks like they want to use the rack for it's intended purpose I ask them if they want it. If they do, I move.

And that's what makes you such a fine outstanding gym-citizen.

My best gym story involves personal space. Seems every squat day this skinny little guy would set up an olympic bar RIGHT behind the squat rack, load it up with a whopping ten pounds per side and do standing military presses. I'm talking RIGHT behind me. I explained the dangers of this three times and he still wouldn't move. Finally I decided to go ahead and risk my clean Jockey shorts and, while ATG, I let go with the nicest green fog you could possibly imagine. I didn't see him again for months.

know what I hate, speaking of personal space? You are sitting on the weight bench doing DB curls, for example, and this retard comes over in the nastiest smelling clothes, smelling like ass, and just places his smelly fucking ass in front of you, right in front of the dumbbell rack. I usually have visions of drop kicking stanky right there.

Originally Posted by ALBOB

My best gym story involves personal space. Seems every squat day this skinny little guy would set up an olympic bar RIGHT behind the squat rack, load it up with a whopping ten pounds per side and do standing military presses. I'm talking RIGHT behind me. I explained the dangers of this three times and he still wouldn't move. Finally I decided to go ahead and risk my clean Jockey shorts and, while ATG, I let go with the nicest green fog you could possibly imagine. I didn't see him again for months.

God damn, ALBOB gas must be horrible.

Originally Posted by ALBOB

My best gym story involves personal space. Seems every squat day this skinny little guy would set up an olympic bar RIGHT behind the squat rack, load it up with a whopping ten pounds per side and do standing military presses. I'm talking RIGHT behind me. I explained the dangers of this three times and he still wouldn't move. Finally I decided to go ahead and risk my clean Jockey shorts and, while ATG, I let go with the nicest green fog you could possibly imagine. I didn't see him again for months.

Oh just terrible....that might come in handy for me. At my gym the resident three meat heads stop and watch me do deads everytime. Mind you I've been doing them for a month total, and never seen any of them do them. I know there is nothing impressive about my deads. So I get the idea that they either A) want to ask me something? B) point out a fault they see, or C) are waiting for the squat rack. How about D) non of the above and seeing how many dildos it takes to watch a fat guy do deads. I need to walk by them after I'm done and give them a cropdusting.

Speaking of standing in front of racks, what is with these idiots who decide to do their curls, presses, raises etc right in front of the dumbbell rack so that nobody else can grab any? And then they give you a dirty look when you interrupt their set. Step back a few feet you idiot and then you won't have that problem.

Originally Posted by ponyboy

Speaking of standing in front of racks, what is with these idiots who decide to do their curls, presses, raises etc right in front of the dumbbell rack so that nobody else can grab any? And then they give you a dirty look when you interrupt their set. Step back a few feet you idiot and then you won't have that problem.

because they are vain assholes who think they're deiseled up and want to look at themselves in front of the mirror with their 15 inch arms and admire the little vein that's making its way through the layers of blubber just so they can say: wow I got a vein!!! All the while what they really should be doing is being bitch smacked by a 45 lb plate from Katt.

Originally Posted by I Are Baboon

God damn, ALBOB gas must be horrible.

If you value your life, don't EVER do military presses behind me while I'm doing squats.

Originally Posted by ALBOB

If you value your life, don't EVER do military presses behind me while I'm doing squats.

By the sounds of things...this man speaks the truth.

I seen a guy come in a few days ago and he did two sets of pull downs and one set of DB rows, and on just one side at that. He left then a guy came in and talked on his cell for 1/2 hour while staring at the equipment.

Originally Posted by ALBOB

If you value your life, don't EVER do military presses behind me while I'm doing squats.

This reminds me of a time I was in a gym doing seated DB presses behind one of 3 squat racks. The bench was around 6 feet behind the rack. This 20 something gal decides she needs to do squats in THAT rack. Now the other racks are not in use and she was wearing really short shorts with the top rolled down. Man what a site. Then I noticed the gym was quiet, and all the other guys in the gym had stopped their workouts; they were trying to be sly looking in the mirriors from around the gym (ya know trying not to be obvious.) to get a good view of her glutes. After 3 sets she left. That is all she did. Well that is not all she did, she messed up my concentration for a while.

Originally Posted by Uthinkso

Oh just terrible....that might come in handy for me. At my gym the resident three meat heads stop and watch me do deads everytime. Mind you I've been doing them for a month total, and never seen any of them do them. I know there is nothing impressive about my deads. So I get the idea that they either A) want to ask me something? B) point out a fault they see, or C) are waiting for the squat rack. How about D) non of the above and seeing how many dildos it takes to watch a fat guy do deads. I need to walk by them after I'm done and give them a cropdusting.

Cropdusting... Hilarious!

Originally Posted by Phred

This reminds me of a time I was in a gym doing seated DB presses behind one of 3 squat racks. The bench was around 6 feet behind the rack. This 20 something gal decides she needs to do squats in THAT rack. Now the other racks are not in use and she was wearing really short shorts with the top rolled down. Man what a site. Then I noticed the gym was quiet, and all the other guys in the gym had stopped their workouts; they were trying to be sly looking in the mirriors from around the gym (ya know trying not to be obvious.) to get a good view of her glutes. After 3 sets she left. That is all she did. Well that is not all she did, she messed up my concentration for a while.

I literally can't do seated flys at night in my college's gym for a similar reason. Right in plain view is a window that at night is very reflective. Right behind me on the floor above is usually a group of extremely hot girls doing dance practice or yoga or something. The windows give a nice view from a very nice angle. Just isn't possible to concentrate like that

Ok. This thread cinches it! I am not going to be joining a gym.

Thanks guys for turning a newbie right the hell away from even wanting to try and build a decent bod.... With people like you in the gym who would even want to step foot in the place!

Originally Posted by suerhul

Ok. This thread cinches it! I am not going to be joining a gym.

Thanks guys for turning a newbie right the hell away from even wanting to try and build a decent bod.... With people like you in the gym who would even want to step foot in the place!

This thread has told you what NOT to do in a gym, so it's an insightful piece of advice for a newbie. Quit whining and just start lifting. When you're an experienced lifter who knows how much time and effort has to be put into achieving or working towards your goals- then you'll be back here, moaning about the same thing. Welcome to the club.

yeeeaaah. what he said.

lOl... I knew that my remark would get a snappy reply..

What not to do : make chirpy comments to people hooked on chirpy comments..

Have a great day all!

I saw some penis fluffer on a treadmill last night doing like half a workout. He must have had the machine cranked up to 9. He's run for about 20 seconds, then grab onto the hand rails and lift himself off the machine (what I refer to as a "treadmill dip"). Then with his elbows locked out and dangling above the moving belt, he'd sort of run like half speed. Then he'd drop back down into normal treadmill position and run normally for like another 20 seconds. Dumbass would get a better workout if he lowered the speed and just ran normally without using the rails like a walker.

Originally Posted by I Are Baboon

I saw some penis fluffer on a treadmill last night doing like half a workout. He must have had the machine cranked up to 9. He's run for about 20 seconds, then grab onto the hand rails and lift himself off the machine (what I refer to as a "treadmill dip"). Then with his elbows locked out and dangling above the moving belt, he'd sort of run like half speed. Then he'd drop back down into normal treadmill position and run normally for like another 20 seconds. Dumbass would get a better workout if he lowered the speed and just ran normally without using the rails like a walker.

'scuse me....

Originally Posted by I Are Baboon

He's run for about 20 seconds, then grab onto the hand rails and lift himself off the machine (what I refer to as a "treadmill dip"). Then with his elbows locked out and dangling above the moving belt, he'd sort of run like half speed. Then he'd drop back down into normal treadmill position and run normally for like another 20 seconds.

If he was holding himself up for about ten seconds each time, he may have been doing high intensity interval training on the Tabata protocol (20 seconds of sprint, 10 seconds active rest, repeat 8 times, vomit optional). It's supposed to be pretty good for burning fat, but I've not tried it myself.

sounds too complicated to even try

Originally Posted by milod

If he was holding himself up for about ten seconds each time, he may have been doing high intensity interval training on the Tabata protocol (20 seconds of sprint, 10 seconds active rest, repeat 8 times, vomit optional). It's supposed to be pretty good for burning fat, but I've not tried it myself.

Why not just turn down the speed of the treadmill instead of looking like a 'tard? Plus, he goes like this for 45 minutes, plus he alternates with taking his feet off the treadmill entirely as well.

Jus sounds like another numbskull trying to re-invent the wheel.

I was staying at a spa hotel this week and went for a quick run on my cardio day. There was a guy in there KILLING himself with the weights... or at least he sounded like he was. He was running back and forth between leg press, cable cross overs and benching some small ish dumbells. The noise he was making on each rep was extremely annoying. Sounded like someone was ramming a stick up his ass... I know I shouldnt rant - but I remembered this thread whilst I was in there so you guys must be getting to me!

Got a new one for everybody. Yesterday I saw a group of 5 high schoolers weighing the olympic bar on the scale.

Originally Posted by ava

Got a new one for everybody. Yesterday I saw a group of 5 high schoolers weighing the olympic bar on the scale.

I guess it's better than them weighing themselves. It always amuses me when I see people getting on the scales after a workout. Unless you're very in depth and calculating the amount of water lost then there just isn't any point!

Today:
* The guy that stands in front of the dumbbell rack
* The trainer that trains 4 people at the same time, while walking around talking on his cell phone and leaning against equipment that people need to use. This guy gets in my way almost every time.

Other days:
* The guy that comes in and puts his stuff on a bench he's not using and assumes that no one else will need to use it.
* The 2 guys that hog the decline bench for an hour and do nothing but talk.
* The guy that puts his dumbbells in the wrong spot on the rack, you find out when you go to put yours up.

Originally Posted by captaincaberman

Today:
* The guy that puts his dumbbells in the wrong spot on the rack, you find out when you go to put yours up.

Grr! That one totally gets to me aswell.

Its ALWAYS the 34KGs in my gym, because they are lighter than the 36s, 38s, 40s, and 42s, their spot is on the upper part of a two-tier rack, but of course nobody can be bothered to get them ALLLLL the way up there, so they take the 38s off and put them on the floor, and put the 34s where the 38s were!!!?!?!?!

LAZY.

***

The other day i saw a guy doing dumbell curls on a stability ball in the warmup section (mats on the floor) right underneath a sign that said "no free-weights in the warmup area". When i pointed this out to him he smiled and said "dont worry, i wont be long" as if there was a paragraph of small print on the bottom of the notice that said "Unless you're not going to be long".

Jackass :P.