YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN
by George Carlin
I Am Your Worst Nightmare.
I am a BAD American.
I am George Carlin.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid level
governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!
I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart
American.
I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and it does
not entitle you to anything.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.
I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.
I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than
working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to
put your pansy ass through 4 years + of college, you haven't yet begun to be
enlightened.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they
want to.
My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled Jerry
Springer.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.
I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when
I'm freezing my ass off during these long winters and paying, paying,
paying???
I've never owned a slave or was a slave, and I didn't wander forty years in
the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches
or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, Shut-the-Hell-up
already.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson
practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem
and not the solution??? Can I get an AMEN on that one?
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running
from them.
I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you're breaking
the law, regardless of what color you are.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you
deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the
next four years.
I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap
or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause. These people
should be targets.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes parents.
I believe if she has her lips on your Willie it's sex, and this applies even
if you are President of the United States.
If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.
If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know.
We need our country back.
by George Carlin
I Am Your Worst Nightmare.
I am a BAD American.
I am George Carlin.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid level
governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!
I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart
American.
I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and it does
not entitle you to anything.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.
I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.
I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than
working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to
put your pansy ass through 4 years + of college, you haven't yet begun to be
enlightened.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they
want to.
My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled Jerry
Springer.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.
I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when
I'm freezing my ass off during these long winters and paying, paying,
paying???
I've never owned a slave or was a slave, and I didn't wander forty years in
the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches
or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, Shut-the-Hell-up
already.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson
practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem
and not the solution??? Can I get an AMEN on that one?
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running
from them.
I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you're breaking
the law, regardless of what color you are.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you
deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the
next four years.
I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap
or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause. These people
should be targets.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes parents.
I believe if she has her lips on your Willie it's sex, and this applies even
if you are President of the United States.
If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.
If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know.
We need our country back.
I liked this. Carlin is GOD!