mmafiter
Banned Member
If you are easily offended or you are strictly religious you may not want to read this. Just warning you. I'm not trying to start a religion war, I just thought this was a funny analysis!
This was NOT written by me, I stole it from another forum.
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Do you have to believe it all or does it fall apart once you start to pick and choose?
In Genesis we have our three first characters of our story... God, Adam, and Eve.
Eve eats a piece of fruit and from then on humanity is considered a sinful species. Instead of god turning his Etch-a-Sketch world upside down and shaking it, he lets them procreate and make many more sinners. So being the all knowing god he lets the sinning go on and on.
Then many years later he see's the error of his ways and decides that mass genocide is the best solution. It starts to rain....but being the nice guy that he is, he tells a man named Noah to build a boat that would carry 2 of each animal and his family. Ok now he takes some time to get 2 of each animal and figures out the diet for each species.
He stocks up on food for them and his family. He goes to his local Home Depot and buys some tools and shovels(or whatever they had access to back then). Tools for the boat and shovels for all the shit the animals will create after the rain gets bad.
So Noah becomes a nautical genius from the desert. 40 days and nights later he has a sandbar. Everyone gets out and starts the whole process over agian.
Well being that original sin was carried down to even Noahs family they didn't even have a second chance to be good(although "second" implies they weren't good the first time, which is misleading considering the original sin wasn't even theirs). Oh well Gods mistake. So people start reproducing agian left and right.
Then about 2000 years ago God decides to "rape" a virginal young woman so he can have this women give birth to his son.
I know girls that try to lock guys into relationships this way too. Oh well God so loved his people (not the ones he flooded and killed) then he hired some jews (is this how they got the name The Choosen People?) to knock his son off by nailing him to some wood.
Well Jesus dies for our sins....but was it really a sacrifice after god went back on his word and resurected his son? Oh well now everyone is saved if they want to be...but it's allready been printed that he will do it all over agian (genocide).
Ok I know that is like the Douglas Adams cliff notes of the book. I know I missed alot of the killing, sex and incest...but Im pretty sure most of you all being good believers or decenters have read the book.
Now my question is...can you pick and choose parts of the book to believe in and yet still have the remainder of the book relevant?
I think once you start to disbelieve any parts the continuity of the book is destroyed. Now Im wondering if anyone would agree with that or disagree with that? Is it a religion based on a buffet or is it bite size where you have to take it all at once?
This was NOT written by me, I stole it from another forum.
---------------------
Do you have to believe it all or does it fall apart once you start to pick and choose?
In Genesis we have our three first characters of our story... God, Adam, and Eve.
Eve eats a piece of fruit and from then on humanity is considered a sinful species. Instead of god turning his Etch-a-Sketch world upside down and shaking it, he lets them procreate and make many more sinners. So being the all knowing god he lets the sinning go on and on.
Then many years later he see's the error of his ways and decides that mass genocide is the best solution. It starts to rain....but being the nice guy that he is, he tells a man named Noah to build a boat that would carry 2 of each animal and his family. Ok now he takes some time to get 2 of each animal and figures out the diet for each species.
He stocks up on food for them and his family. He goes to his local Home Depot and buys some tools and shovels(or whatever they had access to back then). Tools for the boat and shovels for all the shit the animals will create after the rain gets bad.
So Noah becomes a nautical genius from the desert. 40 days and nights later he has a sandbar. Everyone gets out and starts the whole process over agian.
Well being that original sin was carried down to even Noahs family they didn't even have a second chance to be good(although "second" implies they weren't good the first time, which is misleading considering the original sin wasn't even theirs). Oh well Gods mistake. So people start reproducing agian left and right.
Then about 2000 years ago God decides to "rape" a virginal young woman so he can have this women give birth to his son.
I know girls that try to lock guys into relationships this way too. Oh well God so loved his people (not the ones he flooded and killed) then he hired some jews (is this how they got the name The Choosen People?) to knock his son off by nailing him to some wood.
Well Jesus dies for our sins....but was it really a sacrifice after god went back on his word and resurected his son? Oh well now everyone is saved if they want to be...but it's allready been printed that he will do it all over agian (genocide).
Ok I know that is like the Douglas Adams cliff notes of the book. I know I missed alot of the killing, sex and incest...but Im pretty sure most of you all being good believers or decenters have read the book.
Now my question is...can you pick and choose parts of the book to believe in and yet still have the remainder of the book relevant?
I think once you start to disbelieve any parts the continuity of the book is destroyed. Now Im wondering if anyone would agree with that or disagree with that? Is it a religion based on a buffet or is it bite size where you have to take it all at once?
..........and to see what everyone else says
I tried to explain to her that it could have been anything that made that mark, but she wouldn't listen.
