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How to pass a piss test.

D-Lats

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Get Shredded!
So I switched careers and to get theis job I had to piss.
I smoke weed an do blow occasionally, also like a little codein here and there:)
so I knew I'd be fucked if I didn't think quick. I found a way to mask the thc which is the main thing that's detected in piss. Coke codein e are all gone in a few days, thc (rather its metabolizes) ate stored in fat. I'm pretty low in that department but to be safe I followed this method and passed.
Night before test mix one pack of Knox gelatin. It's te shit your grandma makes jam with. In a bottle of room temp water. Slam it. Drink a cup of water.
The next day drink coffee an water. The water wil dilute the metabolizes and the coffee helps add color to your pee aswell as acts as a diuretic. 2 hrs per test mix another pack of gelatin. Drink it all and follow with 2 mores cups of water and coffee. The gelatin seems to coat the bladder so that no metabolizes are picked up on te urine. Now you are gtg. Piss away all that comes out is clean yellow pee. Oh and I doubled my creatine because the check your creatinine levels to make sure it's not vinegar and shit. Anyway I passed:)
 

withoutrulers

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If I were to use a chemical relaxer like black women use in their hair, do you suppose that would destroy metabolite record in the hair follicles?
 

D-Lats

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I read up on hair follicles too. Shave your body bro. And detox. Hair is the hardest to pass.
 

D-Lats

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Fucken auto correct. I meant metabolites lol not metabolizes sorry.
 

vicious 13

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Y not just use the synthetic piss that what I use when I get sent out to big jobs I hear they have a shampoo for hair don't know how well it works or what it does though
 

[SIL]

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this is what you have to do to become mod at im..true story
 

D-Lats

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Synthetic is fine if you know they don't watch you. The dude stood beside me while I pissed. I'd be fucked. Also this cost about 76 cents as apprised to $75 for fake piss. You can also get a sober buddy to piss in a condom and tape it to your nutsack.
 

withoutrulers

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I was actually considering waxing my whole body and claiming to have alopecia ,but that would require maintaining a lie for a long time.
 

Vibrant

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better way to pass:

get some clean urine preferably from a pregnant or menopausal women.

get a prosthetic penis.

tape the penis above your own(real easy to do if you have a small penis)

piss the clean urine.

athletes do this all the time:coffee:
 

D-Lats

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I think my way is easier lol. Having an extra cawk would be cool tho.
 

chucky1

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shampoo-for-a-drug-testing.jpg
 

exphys88

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My wife failed a test for having too dilute of pee once. She wasn't even trying to cover anything up, she just had some coffee and a glass of water before the test.
 

KelJu

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Get Shredded!
Most of you guys are fucking retarded when it comes to drug screens. It isn't a matter of how, it is a matter of luck.

First of all, there are many different kinds of piss test. If they send your urine to a lab to be analyzed which is pretty common these days, none of the mythical tricks is going to save you. Working in a hospital, I got to watch a Cobas machine first hand. This is a machine the size of a room that is fully automated. It is an assembly line of vials and chemical reagents with automated mechanical arms that does everything that 20 lab technicians could do.

By the time your piss comes out of that machine, there is a computer printout of about 30 things they know about you just from looking at your piss. The only way to beat that machine is to smuggle in piss that someone gave you within hours of submitting it. Fake piss doesn't work. Drinking water and vinegar doesn't work. Headshop detox kits don't work. The lab analyzer fucking owns you.

Now, if the company you are trying to get a job with doesn't give a shit, they may just send your piss off to someone who does a stick test. Those are easy to beat. The issue, is that you are taking amble with who your potential employer sends your piss to.

Hair follicle can't be beaten. If the hair existed on your body at the time you ingested a drug, it is in the hair and will show up.
 

Wanna_B_Bigger

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withoutrulers: If you order the shampoo from an online source make sure you order enough. I did the shampoo once for a pre-employment test and failed because I ordered online and received a tiny ass bottle and didn't have time to order more before the test. Also my hair was buzzed fairly short so they clipped the hair out of one of my arm pits (I had used the shampoo on my pits just in case). I paid way too much for a few thimble fulls of detox shampoo. Look around and see how many ounces to a bottle, I think you will want to make sure you have plenty.

My girlfriend just had (passed cause she doesn't smoke) a saliva test that her employer busted out right at the end of her interview.
 

cg89

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yeah their tricky ph levels if its diluted or too hydrated its really fucked up w.e weed will be legal within the next 5 years or so
 
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