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naturaltan

Going nowhere fast!
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Get Shredded!
During a good manners and etiquette class, the teacher says to her students:
"If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her? "

Mike replies : Wait a minute, I'm going for a piss.


The teacher says : That would be very rude and improper on your part.


Johnny replied : I'm sorry I need to go to the toilet, I'll be back in a minute. The teacher says : That's much better but to mention the word "toilet'' during a meal, is unpleasant.


And Charlie says: "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope, to be able to introduce to you after dinner."


The teacher passed out..
 

notsofatso

master of the carbo load
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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single." The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?" The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly.
 
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