Just received an email from a friend with this on it - thought they were quite funny !
Q. Which sexual poistion produces the ugliest children ?
A. Ask your mother !
Q. How do you embarrass an archeologist ?
A. Give him a used tampon and ask what time period it came from !
Q. What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend ?
A. Wiped his ass !
Q. Whats the difference between oral sex and anal sex ?
A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak !
Q. Whats the difference between a bitch and a whore ?
A. A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you !
Q. Whats the difference between love, true love and showing off ?
A. Spitting, swallowing and gargling !
Q. Whats so good about an Ethiopian blow job ?
A. You know she'll swallow !
Q. Whats the difference between a catholic wife and a jewish wife ?
A. A catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewellery !
Q. When is a pixie not a pixie ?
A. When he's got his head up a fairy's skirt - then hes a-goblin !
Q. Whats the definition of a Yankee ?
A. Same thing as a 'quickie' only you do it yourself !
Q. What do you call a smart blonde ?
A. A golden retriever !
Q. What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horses ass ?
A. A mechanic !
Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony ?
A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts !
Q. Who is the popular girl at the nudist colony ?
A. She is the one who can eat the last donut !
Q. Whats the difference between a battery and a woman ?
A. A battery has a positive side !
Q. A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in the third grade - who has the biggest tits ?
A. The blonde - because shes 18 !
Q. Why do men snore when they lay on their backs ?
A. Because their balls fall over their asshole and they vapour lock !
Q. The 3 words most hated by men during sex ?
A. "Are you in" or "Is it in" !
Q. The 3 words most hated by women during sex ?
A. "Honey, im home" !
Q. Why do men take showers instead of baths ?
A. Pissing in the bath is disgusting !
Q. Did you hear about the new paint called 'blonde' paint ?
A. Its not very bright, but it spreads easily !
Q. Do you know why they call it a wonder bra ?
A. When you take it off you wonder where her tits went !
Q. Whats the leading cause of deaths among lesbians ?
A. Hair Balls !
Q. Whats good on a pizza, but bad on a pussy ?
A. Crust !
Q. Why does miss piggy douche with honey ?
A. Because kermit loves sweet and sour pork !
Q. Which sexual poistion produces the ugliest children ?
A. Ask your mother !
Q. How do you embarrass an archeologist ?
A. Give him a used tampon and ask what time period it came from !
Q. What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend ?
A. Wiped his ass !
Q. Whats the difference between oral sex and anal sex ?
A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak !
Q. Whats the difference between a bitch and a whore ?
A. A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you !
Q. Whats the difference between love, true love and showing off ?
A. Spitting, swallowing and gargling !
Q. Whats so good about an Ethiopian blow job ?
A. You know she'll swallow !
Q. Whats the difference between a catholic wife and a jewish wife ?
A. A catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewellery !
Q. When is a pixie not a pixie ?
A. When he's got his head up a fairy's skirt - then hes a-goblin !
Q. Whats the definition of a Yankee ?
A. Same thing as a 'quickie' only you do it yourself !
Q. What do you call a smart blonde ?
A. A golden retriever !
Q. What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horses ass ?
A. A mechanic !
Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony ?
A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts !
Q. Who is the popular girl at the nudist colony ?
A. She is the one who can eat the last donut !
Q. Whats the difference between a battery and a woman ?
A. A battery has a positive side !
Q. A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in the third grade - who has the biggest tits ?
A. The blonde - because shes 18 !
Q. Why do men snore when they lay on their backs ?
A. Because their balls fall over their asshole and they vapour lock !
Q. The 3 words most hated by men during sex ?
A. "Are you in" or "Is it in" !
Q. The 3 words most hated by women during sex ?
A. "Honey, im home" !
Q. Why do men take showers instead of baths ?
A. Pissing in the bath is disgusting !
Q. Did you hear about the new paint called 'blonde' paint ?
A. Its not very bright, but it spreads easily !
Q. Do you know why they call it a wonder bra ?
A. When you take it off you wonder where her tits went !
Q. Whats the leading cause of deaths among lesbians ?
A. Hair Balls !
Q. Whats good on a pizza, but bad on a pussy ?
A. Crust !
Q. Why does miss piggy douche with honey ?
A. Because kermit loves sweet and sour pork !