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*Cripple Beats Up Airport Security Guards*
By Mike Litoris MLitoris~jertschub.net MikeLitoris.com Monday,
March 18, 2012
*As Related To Me By Robert Schuh*
Charges were dropped yesterday against Robert "Bert" Schuh, an
whithered, 50-year-old wheelchair-bound former bodybuilder, who was
originally charged with assault and battery, and assault with a deadly
weapon, because an altercation he had last week with six airport
security guards, that left all six hospitalized.
"Justice has been served," said the 95-pound ex-con, as he sat in his
wheelchair, aided in his breathing by an oxygen bottle. "Now I'm going
to sue every choad skin in the federal government for ignorance,
stupidity, and just plain general incompetence. I'm welfare-receiving
American, a libertarian and I won't be treated like this."
The problem began last month as Schuh was attempting to board an
airplane. "These guys are supposed to be highly- trained
professionals," he said, "but they're dumber than the AOL users. Here
they were letting guys who looked just like terrorists walk through
without searching them, and then they pull me aside and tell me they?re
going to search me? I don't think so."
According to one witness, Mike Oxbig of Lansing, Michigan, one guard,
"who weighed about 300 pounds, looked like he was drunk, and had his
shirt out, told this guy he couldn't board the plane unless they
searched him. He was really rude. That's when the trouble started."
Videotapes showed that Shuh ran the guard down with his motorized
wheelchair, then sat on top of the screaming man while spinning his
chair in circles. "Meat-head was so fat he couldn't get up," said Schuh
with a wheeze.
One guard who attempted to pull Schuh's wheelchair off of the screaming
man from behind was hit over the head with an oxygen bottle and knocked
unconscious. A third guard, who approached Schuh from the front, was
also left dazed on the floor. Witnesses said he was croaking, "Put your
hands on a cripple, will you?" as he bashed both guards.
The tape also showed a fourth guard attempting to grab Schuh's
wheelchair. Schuh removed a Sustanon 250 pre-loaded needle from his
fanny pack and stabbed him in his left buttock. "What a pussy," he told
reporters. "He started screaming and grabbing his butt and running like
a puppy that someone kicked."
"It was amazing," said another witness, a Peter Rising. "The whole
crowd just stood there cheering and clapping. I mean, he was whupping
butt."
A fifth guard that attempted to grab Schuh had the seat of his pants
set on fire with a cigarette lighter than had escaped detection. "He
just went whoosh across the concourse, screaming and slapping at all
these flames flying out of his rear," said Rising.
A sixth guard did finally manage to get Schuh in a body hug. "I think
that was the wrong thing to do," said another witness, who declined to
be identified. "He just grabbed him by his greasy hair with one hand
and cracked him across the jaw with his skinny fist. And down and out
he went."
After all this, Schuh's chair was still sitting on top of the first
guard. The tapes clearly showed him leaning over and yelling,
"Apologize to me, you fat sumbitch, choad skin or when I'm done with
you you'll just be a greasy spot on the floor!"
As the crowd roared, the guard cried, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Uncle! I
won't do it again!"
Finally, Schuh surrendered without further incident, and was taken to
jail and released on his own recognizance. "We didn't have any choice,"
said an unidentified officer of the court. "Over 200 people showed up
to support him. I think if we had demanded bail, there would have been
a riot."
Over 20 lawyers offered to defend him for free. However, realizing the
precariousness of the case, Schuh was not charged with anything. "I
doubt there's a jury in the whole country that would have found him
guilty of anything," said one of the lawyers.
"I'm flying again tomorrow," Schuh told reporters. "And I suggest no
one at the airport so much as look at me wrong."
By Mike Litoris MLitoris~jertschub.net MikeLitoris.com Monday,
March 18, 2012
*As Related To Me By Robert Schuh*
Charges were dropped yesterday against Robert "Bert" Schuh, an
whithered, 50-year-old wheelchair-bound former bodybuilder, who was
originally charged with assault and battery, and assault with a deadly
weapon, because an altercation he had last week with six airport
security guards, that left all six hospitalized.
"Justice has been served," said the 95-pound ex-con, as he sat in his
wheelchair, aided in his breathing by an oxygen bottle. "Now I'm going
to sue every choad skin in the federal government for ignorance,
stupidity, and just plain general incompetence. I'm welfare-receiving
American, a libertarian and I won't be treated like this."
The problem began last month as Schuh was attempting to board an
airplane. "These guys are supposed to be highly- trained
professionals," he said, "but they're dumber than the AOL users. Here
they were letting guys who looked just like terrorists walk through
without searching them, and then they pull me aside and tell me they?re
going to search me? I don't think so."
According to one witness, Mike Oxbig of Lansing, Michigan, one guard,
"who weighed about 300 pounds, looked like he was drunk, and had his
shirt out, told this guy he couldn't board the plane unless they
searched him. He was really rude. That's when the trouble started."
Videotapes showed that Shuh ran the guard down with his motorized
wheelchair, then sat on top of the screaming man while spinning his
chair in circles. "Meat-head was so fat he couldn't get up," said Schuh
with a wheeze.
One guard who attempted to pull Schuh's wheelchair off of the screaming
man from behind was hit over the head with an oxygen bottle and knocked
unconscious. A third guard, who approached Schuh from the front, was
also left dazed on the floor. Witnesses said he was croaking, "Put your
hands on a cripple, will you?" as he bashed both guards.
The tape also showed a fourth guard attempting to grab Schuh's
wheelchair. Schuh removed a Sustanon 250 pre-loaded needle from his
fanny pack and stabbed him in his left buttock. "What a pussy," he told
reporters. "He started screaming and grabbing his butt and running like
a puppy that someone kicked."
"It was amazing," said another witness, a Peter Rising. "The whole
crowd just stood there cheering and clapping. I mean, he was whupping
butt."
A fifth guard that attempted to grab Schuh had the seat of his pants
set on fire with a cigarette lighter than had escaped detection. "He
just went whoosh across the concourse, screaming and slapping at all
these flames flying out of his rear," said Rising.
A sixth guard did finally manage to get Schuh in a body hug. "I think
that was the wrong thing to do," said another witness, who declined to
be identified. "He just grabbed him by his greasy hair with one hand
and cracked him across the jaw with his skinny fist. And down and out
he went."
After all this, Schuh's chair was still sitting on top of the first
guard. The tapes clearly showed him leaning over and yelling,
"Apologize to me, you fat sumbitch, choad skin or when I'm done with
you you'll just be a greasy spot on the floor!"
As the crowd roared, the guard cried, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Uncle! I
won't do it again!"
Finally, Schuh surrendered without further incident, and was taken to
jail and released on his own recognizance. "We didn't have any choice,"
said an unidentified officer of the court. "Over 200 people showed up
to support him. I think if we had demanded bail, there would have been
a riot."
Over 20 lawyers offered to defend him for free. However, realizing the
precariousness of the case, Schuh was not charged with anything. "I
doubt there's a jury in the whole country that would have found him
guilty of anything," said one of the lawyers.
"I'm flying again tomorrow," Schuh told reporters. "And I suggest no
one at the airport so much as look at me wrong."
