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protein farts?
- Thread starter yeabuddy
- Start date
ManInBlack
Registered
A smoke eductor would work well. Just hang it up in the door way and fart into it and it will pull the smoke, i mean, the ass gas right out of your living quarters.
He doesn't care about his farts at home, he actually enjoys the smell...
It's farting in public that is causing him greif..
He can't just walk around in public with an eductor and fart into it...
You might walk funny at first, but you will get use to it
and as a bonus, its fun!
If you cannot bask in your own glory, especially in public, give these fuckers a whirl:
Mens Flatulence Filtering Underwear | myShreddies.com
Mens Flatulence Filtering Underwear | myShreddies.com
Holding in a fart requires tightening of the anal sphincter, which is a muscle, therefore you are exercising that muscle by holding them in, and exercise is good, right? If you're having trouble holding them in, start doing some Kegel exercises. And don't be tempted to try and use a buttplug, *especially* while lifting. I don't want to be the guy behind you while you're doing good-mornings who gets hit in the head with a flying buttplug that got shot out of your ass like a potato cannon. Your fellow gym-goers will appreciate your consideration.
All joking aside however, I have two suggestions:
1. Eat a cup of yogurt every day. Yogurt alters the bacterial composition of your lower intestine.
2. (you might not want to hear this...) Eat less protein. Protein is absorbed by the small intestine, while bacteria live in the large intestine. Protein farts mean that all the protein you ate isn't getting absorbed and is 'feeding' the bacteria in your large intestine. I don't know how much you're paying for the protein you're eating/drinking, but some of that money is definitely going down the toilet. Cut down on the protein just until the farts are very minimal and you're good to go. I'll guess you're eating more than 200 grams of protein a day. You might also want to eat smaller meals more often, so that your small intestine has a chance to absorb the protein before more enters and pushes everything down the line.
All joking aside however, I have two suggestions:
1. Eat a cup of yogurt every day. Yogurt alters the bacterial composition of your lower intestine.
2. (you might not want to hear this...) Eat less protein. Protein is absorbed by the small intestine, while bacteria live in the large intestine. Protein farts mean that all the protein you ate isn't getting absorbed and is 'feeding' the bacteria in your large intestine. I don't know how much you're paying for the protein you're eating/drinking, but some of that money is definitely going down the toilet. Cut down on the protein just until the farts are very minimal and you're good to go. I'll guess you're eating more than 200 grams of protein a day. You might also want to eat smaller meals more often, so that your small intestine has a chance to absorb the protein before more enters and pushes everything down the line.
ManInBlack
Registered
I was being sarcastic douche
Its been a month since I had a protien but every time I start drinking them I get the farts I drink bsn stuff so it's not cause it's cheap I eat lots chicken an tuna all the time so I know it's not that it's the shakes for me so don't think ur the only one lol.
domsriltz123
Registered
Digestive enzymes will help.
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Buy a whey isolate. It usually solves the problem.
bassbusterfiss
Registered
Let them roll brother. Didn't your parents teach you it's better to share? Sharing is caring.
