Sorry guys

[irontime]

Girlfriend sent me this one and the ladies should like it. Its kinda funny so I thought what the hell.

1. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take
to do
the dishes?
- Both of them.

2. Why did the man cross the road?
- He heard the chicken was a slut.

3. Why don't women blink during foreplay?
- They don't have time.

4. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
- They don't stop and ask for directions.

5. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
- He buys two cases of beer.

6. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
- The bonds mature.

7. Why are blonde jokes so short?
- Because men can remember them.

8. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
- We don't know; it has never happened.

9. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good
looking?
- They all already have boyfriends.

10.What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
- A widow.

11.When do you care for a man's company?
- When he owns it.

12.Why are married women heavier than single women?
- Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

13.How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
- Tape the remote control between his toes.

14.What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
- They're married.

15. Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God
says:
"So you would love her." "But God," the man says, "why did you make her
so
dumb?" God says: "So she would love you."

 

[w8lifter]

IT = Traitor

 

[Scotty the Body]

PRINCE, we need to ban IT, this kind of thread will not be tolerated!!!

 

[Dero]

Originally posted by Scotty the Body
PRINCE, we need to ban IT, this kind of thread will not be tolerated!!!

All in favor of banning IT ...
HAY!!!

 

[irontime]

I'm sorry, i don't know what came over me. Must be the flu or something.



oh ya W8 still equals jackass

 

[mmafiter]

Let me guess IT. This describes you perfectly doesn't it!! Traitorous bastard!

Cockblocker: n. One who hinders our member from penetration.

You've all been there before. You're hanging in the bar, and you have a nice, and more importantly: willing feline cornered against the wall. Your tongue's down her throat, your bulge is aching to escape your oh-so-tight Calvin's, and you think you're minutes away from swinging to your bachelor pad, Tarzan, when it happens: Said victim's girlfriend arrives on the scene with the Jaws of Life and makes the play to pry your catch away from you. Little tap on the shoulder, a brief girly whisper-fest, and then you lose, she's outta there! Best find Cheetah quick.

And you know this "girlfriend" because she's the hideous Ugly Duckling who has been left at the punch bowl, all by her trollsome, one too many times. (Can you say: No prom date trauma?) She figures that if she goes out with the Queen Bee enough times, that maybe once she'll get lucky and pick up the slack. Wrong! Girlfriend, start your engine, it's called B.O.B... (battery operated boyfriend)...and I would think you are quite familar with it at this point.

And dudes can be just as intrusive, perhaps more so. Because cocks are more in touch with their animal side, or let's say, more driven by it, and that leads to territorial battles. Yes, believe it or not, our mates absolutely disdain seeing us hook up with someone, because that means they get to play Steve Martin in Lonely Guy all over again.

Bartender another drink, please, for my loser friend. For a while, the alcohol acts as a deterrent while the intoxicated fool (who we call friend) is busy holding up the wall. But when reality strikes and Los Angeles Clipper (pick any) realizes you are scoring big time like the Lakers, and they're going home to their favorite pal, Rosy Palms, it's, "Fuck you, I'm outta here, you want a ride home you better hurry up. Next week you're driving. Got any gas money, dude? Fork it over."

We've all done it: Cockblocking. And bottom line? it's selfish, and may the guilt be on your head. Not that one.

 

[irontime]

ummmmmmm no, I just thought it was kinda funny.

But if I did prevent one of you from getting laid then all I have to say is
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

 

[ZECH]

You just lost my respect!

 

[Dero]

Originally posted by dg806
You just lost my respect!

WHAT!!!!!!
dg,you had respect for IT!!!!!!!??????
Man oh man!!!

 

[ZECH]

Well you give a guy the benefit of the doubt!

 

[Dero]

IT????
THE guy????

 

[ZECH]

Not that kind of respect!

 

[Dero]

Originally posted by dg806
Not that kind of respect!

What chou mean by dat,
eh Alphalfa????

 

[ZECH]

You've lost me D!

 

[Dero]

Originally posted by dg806
You've lost me D!

What kind of respect are YOU talking of????

 

[ZECH]

Just in general................as a good guy.

 

[ZECH]

He turned on his bro's though...not good!

 

[irontime]

Ah don't worry dg, I'll never turn over to that side. Just giving the ladies something to chuckle over before I go back to trashing them