Taking a shit in Kmart

[ROID]

By far the best experience I've ever had.

Nice solid shit. One of those that require minimum wipe.

Only complaint is that the lights are motion activated. I sit very still when i shit. Meditation shitting is what i call it. Short story long....

I shit in the dark at Kmart.
Sent from The Mothership

 

[heckler7]

crumple up TP and throw it past the sensor every so often

 

[IronAddict]

Phuq it, it's kmart ..don't even flush it.

 

[BadGas]

Always grab a roll of your favorite toilet paper from that particular isle and bring it with u to the bathroom. Because if a "lucky shit" in the dark is not your fate that day (like OP), chances are that KMart toilet paper will more like a very thin slice of swiss cheese! So if a growler is more your fate that day, and were talking a "quadruple-wiper" (or more), things could get "chocolatey" for your finger tips.

 

[Watson]

if Anal sensation is the "best experience u ever had" ull fit right in around here......

 

[heckler7]

Always grab a roll of your favorite toilet paper from that particular isle and bring it with u to the bathroom. Because if a "lucky shit" in the dark is not your fate that day (like OP), chances are that KMart toilet paper will more like a very thin slice of swiss cheese! So if a growler is more your fate that day, and were talking a "quadruple-wiper" (or more), things could get "chocolatey" for your finger tips.

were you stationed in Korea, I havent heard the term growler in a while

 

[s2h]

there are K-Marts still?

 

[flubber]

I used to be a manager at LOWE"S and several different times it looked like someone had backed into the stall and started spraying before they could get seated. Thank goodness for water hoses and tiled walls and floor. (also for a janitor)

 

[IronAddict]

I used to be a manager at LOWE"S and several different times it looked like someone had backed into the stall and started spraying before they could get seated. Thank goodness for water hoses and tiled walls and floor. (also for a janitor)

That's what I'm talking about.

 

[KelJu]

A good shit is very spiritual. Anybody here ever take a massive dump on mushrooms? Omg, that is the closest I have ever been to god. Puking is good, but shitting is better.

 

[KelJu]

I try to avoid mirrors when I'm on hallucinogens.

Ain't no mirrors out in a cow pasture. Trouble is there is no toilet paper either, so I have lost at least one sock for every time this as happened to me. It was totally worth losing a sock over.

 

[maniclion]

A good shit is very spiritual. Anybody here ever take a massive dump on mushrooms? Omg, that is the closest I have ever been to god. Puking is good, but shitting is better.

I took one on acid and swore it was a yule log coming out but when I looked there was a pebble sized turd stuck in that little hole on the front side of the flush drain, it completely blew my mind. To top it off I thought I was in the bathroom for a few hours, when I came out only a few minutes had passed.

 

[the_predator]

I took one on acid and swore it was a yule log coming out but when I looked there was a pebble sized turd stuck in that little hole on the front side of the flush drain, it completely blew my mind. To top it off I thought I was in the bathroom for a few hours, when I came out only a few minutes had passed.

I also took a shit while on acid many many years ago. I broke the toilet seat thinking I was on some sort of safari. The persons house had like a jungle type shower curtain with tigers on it and jungle scenery on it. I guess I had thought the tiger was attacking me cause my buddy came in after all the noise and seen I had broke the toilet as I was wrestling with the "shower curtain tiger". I believe the acid was triple dripped, and yes I gave my buddy some money for the toilet and shower curtain.

 

[SheriV]

lolololololol@ pooping while on acid stories

what in the fuck...

you guys are an education to say the least

 

[heckler7]

what is it about eminent danger that makes you need to take a shit, whenever there is big surf Ill have my wetsuit ready to paddle out. next thing I know I running for a bathroom and a wetsuit is difficult to pull down when your butt hole is spasming and about to spray mud

 

[heckler7]

Epinephrine causing the flight or fight response.

I know of this, but dont see how this works in real life. I never had a poop were it took less than 5 minutes and didnt involve me sitting. If a bear was chasing you the only benefit I see to this is you would taste like shit and maybe the bear would run off to eat another animal to get the taste of shit out of its mouth.

 

[SheriV]

lololol

 

[maniclion]

what is it about eminent danger that makes you need to take a shit, whenever there is big surf Ill have my wetsuit ready to paddle out. next thing I know I running for a bathroom and a wetsuit is difficult to pull down when your butt hole is spasming and about to spray mud

Just paddle out and let loose like a fucking whale, then you'll hopefully scare any sharks away and most definitely any other surfers....of course the cold water might make you pucker so tight nothing could escape...

 

[heckler7]

Just paddle out and let loose like a fucking whale, then you'll hopefully scare any sharks away and most definitely any other surfers....of course the cold water might make you pucker so tight nothing could escape...

I actually have shit twice in the water, it wasnt a big day and I was wearing a spring suit in mexico, all sinkers no floaters which kinda made it less funny. I would never do this with a full suit you would drowned and leave a funny corpse.

Coroner- man died from drowning
Sheriff- I can see that but why do you think he had his wetsuit knotted around his ankles
Coroner- its possible he was trying to freaky circus sex with a dolphin, or maybe he just had to shit real bad

 

[Maserati Wife]

Gross!!!!!

 

[heckler7]

Gross!!!!!

and taking a cawk in your ass is much more civilized, see captns turd challange above

 

[Mistakang]

This should be on a damn stage....

This is funny

 

[heckler7]

http://youtu.be/pRSbB2Eau74