KillerAbz
Registered
- Joined
- May 10, 2004
- Messages
- 173
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 0
- Age
- 44
We had fed the heart on fantasies
The heart's grown brutal from the fare
We have a brutal culture
Half-starved by fantasies which circle further and further from the world, and offer sustenance to no real imaginative flight. But if we found other for the imagination to take, it would be possible in the shared experiences of cultures, of our history, of our pain, our deep pain, our struggles, our fights, our loves, our dreams.
The grinding water and the gasping wind
The ever-private tragic sea
For within the gilded cage of normality
One screams to just play, yet the bizarre is all the world hears
CONVERSATIONS, INSIGHTS, THOUGHTS...
They call them mistakes of Mother Nature, yet none took the time to see into their pasts, into their hearts. They looked through the bars, the windows, the cages, and just kept walking. Mistakes. Can you believe that? A mistake. The very concept makes me shake. When the human condition evaporates it seems all one can do is judge that with which fascinates or intrigues them, then of course break them apart piece by piece. The isolation can be deadly, but for some, it can save their lives. Each one is different. If the heart is in charge, most don't make it, however if the brain and the mind is what finds the control, the chances are higher. Either way, the parts are studied closely. Element by element, molecule by molecule. Cell by cell. Until, there is nothing more. Nothing left to pick, nothing left to crucify. Silence. There is an undetected beauty in those souls which very few have the ability to see. Perhaps only once in a lifetime. What many simply consider freakish, is in my mind natures way of saying, here's one not like the rest, although it won't last long, but while it does, it will inspire. Oddities if you will. Any name will do. Mistakes, in my case, equals. Friends. I once read about a mummy who was buried. I could relate to his story. He was a young Egyptian boy. When he died, after being mummified, he had all of his pets mummified as well so he wouldn't get lonely in the afterlife. He had lived a life loving one girl, but in the end, she had broken his heart and he couldn't find any other reason to continue on, so he chose to end his life with the love that he had found for that small amount of time. The quest that some travel the worlds on, had come to an instant conclusion the moment he saw her. He knew straight away, she was the one. He felt after those brief moments spent with her, he had lived the life of a true king, and could die in peace and enter his next life knowing that. Nothing else mattered. He had nothing more to live for. His pets during his life were a lion cub, a lizard, and a rat. None of them had names because they didn't need any. They were family. After he lost his love he was greatly hurt and lived his remaining day in pain and cried himself to sleep every single night. Not for the pain, but more for the magic he experienced in the little time he did have with his love. No matter how young, no matter what anyone else told him, he knew in his heart, his destiny had been fulfiled. What is the good of the strongest heart, in a body that's falling apart. A seriously flaw, I hope you know that. So, with his remaining pieces of heart that were left, all of his energy and comfort was found within his animals, for they were all he had ever known as a family. He would talk to them all the time and tell them stories about pirates, about ghosts, anything that would help them to escape, and for the boy, to keep a tear from falling as usual. They never once got scared, for they knew the stories no matter how scary or weird, or even confusing, all had a deeply rooted message within them that they would never ever forget. When he left, he knew he wanted his animals by his side to return and be together upon their rebirth. These were considered mere relics to those who would come to hear their story nearly hundreds of years later. For them, the story was told as one of a freakish, foolish boy who fell in love, lost his true love, and lived the remaining of his young days alone cherishing her memory in his heart and being with his animals. He was a very lonely boy, and never once felt he fit into the everyday life that so many had found ease in. It simply was not meant for him, but he knew it was his destiny to be different. By leaving that life early perhaps he thought he would once again find his true love when he returned in the next. All of the innocent things that so many never took the time to appreciate or understand is all that he so craved and sadly took with him along with his family of animal friends into his final deep sleep. A sleep so deep, that he was never to be awoken within that life ever again. He was gone and had slipped away. Today, where the boy's mummy lays miles and miles underneath layers of ground and hardened earth, is a small fountain of water which continues to run and fall to this very day. Some have been said to have even seen quite disturbing sights of blood coming from the fountain in between the running of the water, supposidly as a reminder of the youngs boys broken heart and longing to be with the only one he ever truly loved which continued to bleed even up until his final days. Perhaps a reminder of his unconditional love that he continues to shed even after his spirit has been long gone for hundreds of years and gone through several, if not many transformations and characters. Some have even said to have seen his skeleton walking around the fountain sometimes at night once all have gone and tucked away into bed. Most of the time he would sit and read, usually a book of fantasy or magic. Either way, he was very much still alive, no matter what those who would come to know at "the freak boy who died of a broken heart" tried to do to dismay the legend. As long as the stars continued to shine in one of their worlds beyond, in time they would once again find eachother and finally be home. No pain, ever again.
Descend upon my heart.
Many philosophers said that human kind should listen to their rational soul, not to their animal passions. That their rational part should rule their animal part. The instincts and sensitivities of an animal are ones with which I have always found a kinship with. In truth, that is an understatement. It is where I have found the only elements of true understanding. It was alive with one for quite a long amount of time, but was soon gone. Of course, all has and continues to remain. Being unconditional is both a blessing and a curse. When you are guided by your heart, you are instantly an animal in it's truest form, whether one realizes it or not. When I think of the plights of the human condition, despite the illusions of the material world that so many have found comfort in, they are no different than those of animals. However, one of the greatest, simplest, and most humble of concepts that an animal retains and has retained despite the changes in time, and introduction of the material world that we now find ourselves living in, is that of unconditional love and loyalty. Both seeking it and giving it in order to survive. With an animal, the need to survive is not based upon contributions from those around them, for all they need is their own path in which to follow, and then they follow it, usually alone. They are aware and move about simply by instinct and raw feeling of that which they need to breathe, to move, to be home. They are not born with a book, or a story, or a scroll with each job or teaching they must go through in order to become something of substance. For within the animal kingdom, that which represents substance, is found in the spiritual, the emotional, the elusive, the unconscious, the divine. This, is where human nature has lost it's way, and where they are blinded by that which has sadly taken over in terms of importance. A giant beast was able to walk for miles on end for years alone only stopping for brief moments to rest, for food, or a quick drink of water from whatever open river they could find. Most of their lives were spent walking alone through every and any climate imaginable in hopes of a destination of safety and comfort. On many occasions, new companions would make themselves known and were then warmly welcomed. If the mission was similar, the bond was instant. There was no need for judgement, no need for comparison, no need for evaluation. They never sought freedom, for that wasn't needed. Their mission was a vey special one. It was that of selfless security and life of their species and eventually, in finding a mate in which to come together and take along on it's journey. In time, they would produce offspring and once old enough, would join them on the journey as well. If they were to little to walk on their own, they would climb up the backs of the great beast and find a soft spot in which to lay and await the unknown... arrival upon a new destination with which as always, was never clear or expected. The little ones would put all their trust and hopes within the beast in which they lay. As long as they were on their backs, there was no need to be afraid. Through bitterly cold lands, sundried horizon, dusty dried areas of burnt wood, and whatever mother nature had to offer, they remained focused on their paths. One by one they would loss one of their travel companions to other things, yet would continue on no matter what. Some, were simply to tired and to weak to return to all four legs once they had been struck down. For those who were unable to continue, they would find a hidden place, walk around several times in a circle with their heads down, and eventually collapse to the earth. Over time, when all had passed and continued along and they had been left, their bodies would eventually beign to crumble. The wind would leave them with opened scars and wounds, and blood would slowly fill their eyes which once hunted for serenity and peace. Soon, the eyes would become to heavy with that of tear and red, and close. They would form a little ball in which eternal sleep and entrance into their next journey would then be able to begin. Although they were unaware of the signs all around them perhaps leading them closer to their destinations, they found them based upon what they remembered and what they retained within their minds from a single experience. That was all it took. A glance, a piece, a drop of rain on their nose was all they needed to remember certain things which would prove helpful to them later on. If it was called upon, the memory of it would return as if it never had left.
I always heard the comparison made of human nature to being that of animal nature when it comes to means of survival. How instinct kicks in as would with an animal during times of great desperation, need, and pain. A hunger for that which isn't ever fully understood, until it is missing and long gone, even then, all that is recognized is the feeling. What I never truly understood however, was why the distinct underlying message that an animal stands for is continually overlooked. The message of the animal kingdom. That is the message of harmony and unity amongst all creatures no matter what their differences. In the animal kindgom there is no judgement. There is grouping in relation to species, those with wings, those without, those with webs for feet, those with toes. Those with fur and those with scales, those who sleep in deep dark caves, and those silently out on the highest branch in the highest tree above the deepest ocean. There is no need for power, no need for fear aside from the fear that is born within them in terms of continuing on their species. But it is no fear like that of human kind. For their fear is one of becoming no more, of becoming instinct. They do not fear isolation, nor seclusion, nor being alone, because they retain all they need to survive without that with which the material world has thrust into so many of the human kind.
Although idealistic to a great vast, or perhaps even naive, one of the truest forms of selflessness can be seen through any animal or creature not that of human kind. What remains a true mystery, is the ability for the creature to keep going despite the cruel hands of those so far removed from them. From those who have continued to use their good name in justification of their own selfish actions and greeds that the animal has never needed to live to begin with. For many, the animal represents a form of a god, or spiritual being. A symbol to look to in times of human failure and disappointment. A grounding. Perhaps for me what is the most ironic and inspiring of their power, is that they most likely do not even realize nor care about that with which they hold so high above so many others... because for them, power is simply an illusion. A branch with which they have flown high above and over despite it's attraction or fear for those who refuse to live without it. They have already found their answer, and it hasn't been within the realm of the rational or practical. For them, the heart and connection within other hearts has always remained their only course. I guess in the end when all one has left is their imagination, the hope of love never dies since it's already found it's home born inside. And with that, their fire continues to burn waiting patiently.
Love, Me... Jamie Leigh... ;-)
http://www.jamieleigh.net
The heart's grown brutal from the fare
We have a brutal culture
Half-starved by fantasies which circle further and further from the world, and offer sustenance to no real imaginative flight. But if we found other for the imagination to take, it would be possible in the shared experiences of cultures, of our history, of our pain, our deep pain, our struggles, our fights, our loves, our dreams.
The grinding water and the gasping wind
The ever-private tragic sea
For within the gilded cage of normality
One screams to just play, yet the bizarre is all the world hears
CONVERSATIONS, INSIGHTS, THOUGHTS...
They call them mistakes of Mother Nature, yet none took the time to see into their pasts, into their hearts. They looked through the bars, the windows, the cages, and just kept walking. Mistakes. Can you believe that? A mistake. The very concept makes me shake. When the human condition evaporates it seems all one can do is judge that with which fascinates or intrigues them, then of course break them apart piece by piece. The isolation can be deadly, but for some, it can save their lives. Each one is different. If the heart is in charge, most don't make it, however if the brain and the mind is what finds the control, the chances are higher. Either way, the parts are studied closely. Element by element, molecule by molecule. Cell by cell. Until, there is nothing more. Nothing left to pick, nothing left to crucify. Silence. There is an undetected beauty in those souls which very few have the ability to see. Perhaps only once in a lifetime. What many simply consider freakish, is in my mind natures way of saying, here's one not like the rest, although it won't last long, but while it does, it will inspire. Oddities if you will. Any name will do. Mistakes, in my case, equals. Friends. I once read about a mummy who was buried. I could relate to his story. He was a young Egyptian boy. When he died, after being mummified, he had all of his pets mummified as well so he wouldn't get lonely in the afterlife. He had lived a life loving one girl, but in the end, she had broken his heart and he couldn't find any other reason to continue on, so he chose to end his life with the love that he had found for that small amount of time. The quest that some travel the worlds on, had come to an instant conclusion the moment he saw her. He knew straight away, she was the one. He felt after those brief moments spent with her, he had lived the life of a true king, and could die in peace and enter his next life knowing that. Nothing else mattered. He had nothing more to live for. His pets during his life were a lion cub, a lizard, and a rat. None of them had names because they didn't need any. They were family. After he lost his love he was greatly hurt and lived his remaining day in pain and cried himself to sleep every single night. Not for the pain, but more for the magic he experienced in the little time he did have with his love. No matter how young, no matter what anyone else told him, he knew in his heart, his destiny had been fulfiled. What is the good of the strongest heart, in a body that's falling apart. A seriously flaw, I hope you know that. So, with his remaining pieces of heart that were left, all of his energy and comfort was found within his animals, for they were all he had ever known as a family. He would talk to them all the time and tell them stories about pirates, about ghosts, anything that would help them to escape, and for the boy, to keep a tear from falling as usual. They never once got scared, for they knew the stories no matter how scary or weird, or even confusing, all had a deeply rooted message within them that they would never ever forget. When he left, he knew he wanted his animals by his side to return and be together upon their rebirth. These were considered mere relics to those who would come to hear their story nearly hundreds of years later. For them, the story was told as one of a freakish, foolish boy who fell in love, lost his true love, and lived the remaining of his young days alone cherishing her memory in his heart and being with his animals. He was a very lonely boy, and never once felt he fit into the everyday life that so many had found ease in. It simply was not meant for him, but he knew it was his destiny to be different. By leaving that life early perhaps he thought he would once again find his true love when he returned in the next. All of the innocent things that so many never took the time to appreciate or understand is all that he so craved and sadly took with him along with his family of animal friends into his final deep sleep. A sleep so deep, that he was never to be awoken within that life ever again. He was gone and had slipped away. Today, where the boy's mummy lays miles and miles underneath layers of ground and hardened earth, is a small fountain of water which continues to run and fall to this very day. Some have been said to have even seen quite disturbing sights of blood coming from the fountain in between the running of the water, supposidly as a reminder of the youngs boys broken heart and longing to be with the only one he ever truly loved which continued to bleed even up until his final days. Perhaps a reminder of his unconditional love that he continues to shed even after his spirit has been long gone for hundreds of years and gone through several, if not many transformations and characters. Some have even said to have seen his skeleton walking around the fountain sometimes at night once all have gone and tucked away into bed. Most of the time he would sit and read, usually a book of fantasy or magic. Either way, he was very much still alive, no matter what those who would come to know at "the freak boy who died of a broken heart" tried to do to dismay the legend. As long as the stars continued to shine in one of their worlds beyond, in time they would once again find eachother and finally be home. No pain, ever again.
Descend upon my heart.
Many philosophers said that human kind should listen to their rational soul, not to their animal passions. That their rational part should rule their animal part. The instincts and sensitivities of an animal are ones with which I have always found a kinship with. In truth, that is an understatement. It is where I have found the only elements of true understanding. It was alive with one for quite a long amount of time, but was soon gone. Of course, all has and continues to remain. Being unconditional is both a blessing and a curse. When you are guided by your heart, you are instantly an animal in it's truest form, whether one realizes it or not. When I think of the plights of the human condition, despite the illusions of the material world that so many have found comfort in, they are no different than those of animals. However, one of the greatest, simplest, and most humble of concepts that an animal retains and has retained despite the changes in time, and introduction of the material world that we now find ourselves living in, is that of unconditional love and loyalty. Both seeking it and giving it in order to survive. With an animal, the need to survive is not based upon contributions from those around them, for all they need is their own path in which to follow, and then they follow it, usually alone. They are aware and move about simply by instinct and raw feeling of that which they need to breathe, to move, to be home. They are not born with a book, or a story, or a scroll with each job or teaching they must go through in order to become something of substance. For within the animal kingdom, that which represents substance, is found in the spiritual, the emotional, the elusive, the unconscious, the divine. This, is where human nature has lost it's way, and where they are blinded by that which has sadly taken over in terms of importance. A giant beast was able to walk for miles on end for years alone only stopping for brief moments to rest, for food, or a quick drink of water from whatever open river they could find. Most of their lives were spent walking alone through every and any climate imaginable in hopes of a destination of safety and comfort. On many occasions, new companions would make themselves known and were then warmly welcomed. If the mission was similar, the bond was instant. There was no need for judgement, no need for comparison, no need for evaluation. They never sought freedom, for that wasn't needed. Their mission was a vey special one. It was that of selfless security and life of their species and eventually, in finding a mate in which to come together and take along on it's journey. In time, they would produce offspring and once old enough, would join them on the journey as well. If they were to little to walk on their own, they would climb up the backs of the great beast and find a soft spot in which to lay and await the unknown... arrival upon a new destination with which as always, was never clear or expected. The little ones would put all their trust and hopes within the beast in which they lay. As long as they were on their backs, there was no need to be afraid. Through bitterly cold lands, sundried horizon, dusty dried areas of burnt wood, and whatever mother nature had to offer, they remained focused on their paths. One by one they would loss one of their travel companions to other things, yet would continue on no matter what. Some, were simply to tired and to weak to return to all four legs once they had been struck down. For those who were unable to continue, they would find a hidden place, walk around several times in a circle with their heads down, and eventually collapse to the earth. Over time, when all had passed and continued along and they had been left, their bodies would eventually beign to crumble. The wind would leave them with opened scars and wounds, and blood would slowly fill their eyes which once hunted for serenity and peace. Soon, the eyes would become to heavy with that of tear and red, and close. They would form a little ball in which eternal sleep and entrance into their next journey would then be able to begin. Although they were unaware of the signs all around them perhaps leading them closer to their destinations, they found them based upon what they remembered and what they retained within their minds from a single experience. That was all it took. A glance, a piece, a drop of rain on their nose was all they needed to remember certain things which would prove helpful to them later on. If it was called upon, the memory of it would return as if it never had left.
I always heard the comparison made of human nature to being that of animal nature when it comes to means of survival. How instinct kicks in as would with an animal during times of great desperation, need, and pain. A hunger for that which isn't ever fully understood, until it is missing and long gone, even then, all that is recognized is the feeling. What I never truly understood however, was why the distinct underlying message that an animal stands for is continually overlooked. The message of the animal kingdom. That is the message of harmony and unity amongst all creatures no matter what their differences. In the animal kindgom there is no judgement. There is grouping in relation to species, those with wings, those without, those with webs for feet, those with toes. Those with fur and those with scales, those who sleep in deep dark caves, and those silently out on the highest branch in the highest tree above the deepest ocean. There is no need for power, no need for fear aside from the fear that is born within them in terms of continuing on their species. But it is no fear like that of human kind. For their fear is one of becoming no more, of becoming instinct. They do not fear isolation, nor seclusion, nor being alone, because they retain all they need to survive without that with which the material world has thrust into so many of the human kind.
Although idealistic to a great vast, or perhaps even naive, one of the truest forms of selflessness can be seen through any animal or creature not that of human kind. What remains a true mystery, is the ability for the creature to keep going despite the cruel hands of those so far removed from them. From those who have continued to use their good name in justification of their own selfish actions and greeds that the animal has never needed to live to begin with. For many, the animal represents a form of a god, or spiritual being. A symbol to look to in times of human failure and disappointment. A grounding. Perhaps for me what is the most ironic and inspiring of their power, is that they most likely do not even realize nor care about that with which they hold so high above so many others... because for them, power is simply an illusion. A branch with which they have flown high above and over despite it's attraction or fear for those who refuse to live without it. They have already found their answer, and it hasn't been within the realm of the rational or practical. For them, the heart and connection within other hearts has always remained their only course. I guess in the end when all one has left is their imagination, the hope of love never dies since it's already found it's home born inside. And with that, their fire continues to burn waiting patiently.
Love, Me... Jamie Leigh... ;-)
http://www.jamieleigh.net
Last edited:
