This is not going to be an exercise journal, but merely some thoughts and feelings on my part as I face a new direction in life. I have found it to be a good thing to have a place to vent and get feelings out instead of keeping them locked inside. A few may know and most do not, but I came home on July 1 to find my wife and children gone. My wife had left over her adulterous affair and secreted the whereabouts of my children for a week. It was not until my attorney forced her attorney to do something, that we worked out a temporary custody order, sharing custody of my two children until we have a custody trial which it looks like may be next spring. She wants full custody, so it looks like I have no choice but to fight for full custody also. The biggest thing at this point is school starts next week(8-5) and my wife is wanting to put my children in a new school and uproot them even more than they already have been. I actually have them the first four days of school so things are on my side right now. She has done things I would never have expected and is using the kids to her advantage with no regard for the best interest of the children. I am so pissed right now that you can't imagine. But I have to remain calm. If I do anything stupid, it will hurt my chance at getting custody of the kids. I feel like I am starting life over at 20 years old. We would have been married 15 years this Nov. I worry about my children and where they are when they are not with me and if they are ok. I wonder how someone can change that much and go straight into hating you. Everything that is coming out of her right now is a lie. She keeps promising and then pulls something new. I don't know what to think anymore. I wonder what I will lose as far as my house and Marital property when we have to divide stuff. I will probably have to start over and have the kids in a new home. The one I have now is the only one they have ever known. It tears me up that this is happening to the kids. It would be much easier if it was just me. I also can't believe my wife has the gall to do this to the kids. This is what makes me the maddest. I will always resent her and never be able to forgive her for the things she has done to them. She had this planned for a while. The following days after she left, I find out that none of the bills had been paid in almost two months. So i was left with almost 2k in bills due and all my bills still to pay, like the house, my truck and insurance for the home and vehicles. She even closed the checking account, so I can't even write a check until I open a new one. I have plenty of money in my retirement and 401k, but I can't get to it unless I quit my job, and I can't do that right now and expect a chance of getting the kids. She had quit her job last year and rolled her 401k into a fund at a local bank and was able to get her money and that is how she got a new apartment and furniture. She has nothing out of my home at the current time except for the computer I had and she still refuses to give it to me. So I'm taking it day by day right now and things seem to change pretty quickly as far as new stuff popping up. If I can just get the kids in their old school and settled, I think everything will work until the trial date.