How do you guys deal with bullies?

[maniclion]

However, answer this truthfully. Was your not attending influenced at all by the people you had to avoid being there?

I had perfect attendance in my jr and senior year and graduated with honors, most of my bullies were jealous that I was headed in a better direction in life than them and they didn't know where they were headed...see I knew I was going into the navy my JR year and that scared a few guys in my class who knew that if they didn't do something as drastic they would end up right where they are now still living in the same sleepy little town on the plains of Texas...

 

[goandykid]

Yes, but it's alot harder to avoid them at a reunion.

Answer it honestly, deep down do you feel like they played any effect on your reunion attendance?

 

[min0 lee]

Why would you fight him in school?
I never understood that.


What you do is wait for him to be all alone.....

 

[goandykid]

He probably only sees him in school, and the guy only has the balls to bully when his buddies are around him. Plus a fight in school can go quickly.

We have 2500 students at my school and single digit security or out-of-the-office admins.

 

[LexusGS]

Mino, this fuck leaves school 2 hours earlier then I do, so the chance of me seeing him one to one is pretty slim.

 

[min0 lee]

Mino, this fuck leaves school 2 hours earlier then I do, so the chance of me seeing him one to one is pretty slim.

While I don't condone violence...but if you really wanted to take care of this you do it in private, chances are you won't get into a fight.
All you need is one idiot in the back instigating a fight.

 

[maniclion]

Yes, but it's alot harder to avoid them at a reunion.

Answer it honestly, deep down do you feel like they played any effect on your reunion attendance?

Nope, the fact that I live 1000's of miles in the middle of the ocean did though...I guess the fact that I could give a rats ass about most of them was a reason not to spend hundreds of my own dollars to see them again....but all is shaka for me brah

 

[goandykid]

Nope, the fact that I live 1000's of miles in the middle of the ocean did though...I guess the fact that I could give a rats ass about most of them was a reason not to spend hundreds of my own dollars to see them again....but all is shaka for me brah

I hear ya, just wondering whether or not they had a prolonged effect on you. Avoiding them in school is one thing, but if you had avoided your HS reunion just b/c of those guys I would deff chalk that up as a loss. Glad that's not the case, in fact I bet the majority of bullies probably regret their behavior by the time the reunions roll around.

 

[Flex]

I can hold my own very well when it comes to fights and conflicts, but this is a different situation.
In school, the're this one kid who pisses the shit out of me on a daily basis by saying smartass comments with the rest of his buddies(the kind that travel in packs).
I would love nothing more then to beat his brains in, but I dont want to risk getting suspended. It's my final year in high school, don't want a suspension to be the factor that makes a college turn me down, if you know what I mean. If anyone was in this situation, how did you deal with it? Thanks.

It's very interesting, b/c I work in a h.s. as a supervisory paraprofessional (one of my duties is handling security), and we just had a in-service day about bullying.

I hear where you're coming from, it's like Charlie Murphy said after Rick James whacked him...
"Eddie and everybody else thought that that was the funniest shit. And that threw me in a weird space cause I'm like, "Yo, this is Rick James and he's a star. Maybe I'm overreacting." I actually went there like, "Maybe I shouldn't do nothing." But my ghetto side was going, "Yo, stomp this motherfucker out right here. What the fuck is wrong with him?"

You want to beat the everloving shit out of him. That's a natural feeling.

But lemme tell you from experience of being a kid and now working at a h.s. and seeing the other side of it, it's not worth it.

If it's really bothering you, go to an administrator and make them aware of the problem. That should end it right there. (if you were in our school they'd then have me walk around with you to a few classes for a week or two, and that usually deterred anything else ever again........I murder for fun)

Understand, and this pertains to life in general, that you can't control what other people say or do, you can only control how you let it affect you.
So you can't control what that douchebag says or does, but you can be the bigger man and not let it bother you.

Hope that helps...

FLEX


p.s. I'll kill him for $50.

 

[LexusGS]

Lol, Thanks for the reply Flex, I admire your input.

 

[P-funk]

just forget about it. who cares what he says? Don't worry about him (unless he phyiscally attacks you)......I would just walk away and feel good knowing that I am the bigger man and he will one day end up like ForemanRules (a total loser).

 

[goandykid]

It's very interesting, b/c I work in a h.s. as a supervisory paraprofessional (one of my duties is handling security), and we just had a in-service day about bullying.

I hear where you're coming from, it's like Charlie Murphy said after Rick James whacked him...
"Eddie and everybody else thought that that was the funniest shit. And that threw me in a weird space cause I'm like, "Yo, this is Rick James and he's a star. Maybe I'm overreacting." I actually went there like, "Maybe I shouldn't do nothing." But my ghetto side was going, "Yo, stomp this motherfucker out right here. What the fuck is wrong with him?"

You want to beat the everloving shit out of him. That's a natural feeling.

But lemme tell you from experience of being a kid and now working at a h.s. and seeing the other side of it, it's not worth it.

If it's really bothering you, go to an administrator and make them aware of the problem. That should end it right there. (if you were in our school they'd then have me walk around with you to a few classes for a week or two, and that usually deterred anything else ever again........I murder for fun)

Understand, and this pertains to life in general, that you can't control what other people say or do, you can only control how you let it affect you.
So you can't control what that douchebag says or does, but you can be the bigger man and not let it bother you.

Hope that helps...

FLEX


p.s. I'll kill him for $50.

Getting an admin would worsen the problem IMO

 

[P-funk]

Getting an admin would worsen the problem IMO

yea, that would make the pick on you even more.

 

[P-funk]

another question I have......you are in your senior year and you haven't applied to, been accepted to, or decided on a college yet?

Maybe I am wrong here, but I could have sworen that when I was in high school, I was sending out applications towards the end of my junior year and then knew were I was going to go by the begining of my senior year (after the first quarter)......Like I said, my time line may be a little fucked up.

 

[fufu]

Piss in his hair.

 

[fUnc17]

another question I have......you are in your senior year and you haven't applied to, been accepted to, or decided on a college yet?

Maybe I am wrong here, but I could have sworen that when I was in high school, I was sending out applications towards the end of my junior year and then knew were I was going to go by the begining of my senior year (after the first quarter)......Like I said, my time line may be a little fucked up.

thats how it worked for me

 

[Flex]

Getting an admin would worsen the problem IMO

uh, not where i work.

in order for it to be classified as "bullying", person A has to "pick on" person B over time.
Once you let an admin. know, they will talk to person A.
Any b.s. after that is considered "bullying" and person A suffers the consequences.

I just don't understand why you give a fuck.

You know you can beat his ass. He knows you can beat his ass and he resorts to talking shit about you, which you should ignore (once again....you can't control what people say or do.....etc. etc.)

leave it go completely or do something about it.
end of story.


(or send me $50)

 

[BoneCrusher]

The only one who can really answer this question is you. A little problem solving 101 is in order.

How will you feel about yourself if you walk away from this guy after letting him win the social game in front of others. You could use this for what it is ??? a part of growing up. This is the age where you are learning how to deal with the assholes in life and bro they NEVER stop coming. That's really what this is and why you respond to him. It's a game played in the primal parts of your subconscious. EVERY man who says he walked away from a confrontation had to work this out somehow:

1. He accepts being a coward, and stays a coward.
2. He feels embarrassed for being a coward, and will sooner or later stand up for himself or develop some kind of a mental issue.
3. He knows he would have destroyed the guy and cares less about the social degradation.

If you???re a 1 or a 2 then deal with this now, don???t wait. If you are a 3 then ignore the rest of this post and go on with your bad self. If you're a 3 then you're the kinda guy that doesn???t sweat the petty stuff, you pet the sweaty stuff. If you are at risk of being either a 1 or a 2, then keep reading.

How can you beat this guy in the mental or physical arena? Everyone has their own way. What are your options? I know you came here for advice on that exact part of this so we???ll come back to it in a sec.

What are the various outcomes from all the options you have. If you throw him a real quick bitch slap in front of everyone can you handle the outcome? If you throw him a real quick bitch slap alone in the bathroom or in a quite corner somewhere can you handle the outcome? If you throw him a mental bitch slap in front of everyone can you handle that outcome?
Can you match wits with this kid and win? What will be the outcome?

Now when you bring all these little answers together you get the big answer you want ??? one that only you can figure out because it???s all relative to your personality.

Now is where I insert my own personality in the post. I am an alpha male and I could not do anything but trash this guy in front of all his friends so that he and everyone watching him will know what I???m about. If he came at me in public I???d tell him in front of anyone watching that the only reason he is not right now begging me to stop breaking his shit off is because he is such a scrawny little fuck I???d be embarrassed to be seen doin it. I???d go pro-active instead of being re-active to this little bully wannabe retard. People respect a guy that stands up to the bullies in life.

If you want the assholes in life to not pick you as their personal bitch then here is where you deal with that. It???s a pattern we develop in life that both follows us and precedes us. When you see someone that gives you a gut feeling that he's a very strong man inside you are responding to a series of actions he has taken in his life to develop that vibe you feel. Here is where you develop your own inner sense of self that you'll project later in life.

You will have more respect for yourself if you beat this guy either mentally, physically, or both ... maybe less respect for yourself if you don???t. I???m not saying to blow off your future, but your future is not going to hinge on one fight in high school. If your grades are good you???ll get where you wanna go. Besides, what good is having a degree if you don't develope a personality that people will have confidance in when the shit gets deep. Unless of course you're the young version of that guy from Office Space with the stapler issues ... he was a 2.

[FONT=&quot]LEGAL DISCLAIMER:

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]I AM IN NO WAY TELLING YOU TO GO POSTAL ON THE DUDE. As always in life you're supposed to use your brains 1st and your brawn 2nd. Leave the AK47 in the gun-case, don't order the succinylcholine, and stop figuring out how to create a random electrocution. If the voices in your head tell you to eat his hams, then seek medical help. If death is the needed result ... seek the help of Flex. His rate is only $50.
[/FONT]

 

[Sexybeast777]

I can hold my own very well when it comes to fights and conflicts, but this is a different situation.
In school, the're this one kid who pisses the shit out of me on a daily basis by saying smartass comments with the rest of his buddies(the kind that travel in packs).
I would love nothing more then to beat his brains in, but I dont want to risk getting suspended. It's my final year in high school, don't want a suspension to be the factor that makes a college turn me down, if you know what I mean. If anyone was in this situation, how did you deal with it? Thanks.

That's exactly how I thought when I was younger, I remember being bullied, but then thinking ''if I get into a fight, I will get suspended...It's not worth it''...Let me tell you something, if I could go back in time, I would do anything to stop the bullying, even if that meant stabbing someone with a pen! I mean it, don't fall into the ''It's not worth it'' mentality, if it's really bothering you that much, that's your mind telling you you got to do something about it!
No one ever said being a tough guy will be easy, you must be brave, and willing to fight many people at once, but the reward is great, your self-esteem is really high when you know you have balls and you have courage!

 

[maniclion]

I hear ya, just wondering whether or not they had a prolonged effect on you. Avoiding them in school is one thing, but if you had avoided your HS reunion just b/c of those guys I would deff chalk that up as a loss. Glad that's not the case, in fact I bet the majority of bullies probably regret their behavior by the time the reunions roll around.

Man, every time someone has said or did something negative to me I put it in a little folder in the back of my mind labeled "Rocket Fuel" and anytime I start to feel like quitting or giving up I pull one of those files and drop it in my mental incinerator...especially when I workout, but since my back has been out I use it to propel me into my writing.

 

[Soul of Sol]

Success is the best revenge.

 

[fletcher6490]

How come I never had a bully, I kinda feel left out. I'm a small guy too, which makes me wonder even more. I'd like to think it was because i'm just a cool dude, but it could of also been because my group of friends always had the best parties. Who knows...

 

[NeilPearson]

Yes, but it's alot harder to avoid them at a reunion.

Answer it honestly, deep down do you feel like they played any effect on your reunion attendance?

That is just silly. Nobody avoids reunions out of a fear of bullies. People grow up. There is no way that behavior would continue at a reunion. Besides, anyone that still has a bully mentality will never show their face at a reunion. They will either be in jail, dead, or too embarrassed of their loser life to show up

 

[NeilPearson]

Mino, this fuck leaves school 2 hours earlier then I do, so the chance of me seeing him one to one is pretty slim.

Just ignore the little punk. Fighting should be used for self defense only... not proving something. Grow up and quit caring what the losers say

 

[Dale Mabry]

kenwood always making you take the bottom?

 

[goandykid]

That is just silly. Nobody avoids reunions out of a fear of bullies. People grow up. There is no way that behavior would continue at a reunion. Besides, anyone that still has a bully mentality will never show their face at a reunion. They will either be in jail, dead, or too embarrassed of their loser life to show up

I don't see how any of what I said is silly. The only thing silly is your assumptions. I wasn't implying that the bullies would act the same, I was asking if the bully's previous actions resulted in him not showing up. Maybe he didn't want to relive the past, maybe the bully gave him an unfortunate perception of HS, w/e.

 

[DICE]

Man , call him out... I used to love knocking out bullies. Seriously, right in front of all his buddies just tell him what a bitch he is etc. Then make a meeting place for after school and tell everyone to show up so the fight is fair and then rock him old school. Thats how we ended all our beefs when I was in Highschool. You will get your satisfaction and its usually the final word so to speak if everyone witneses it.... Plus now he has to show up or look like the bitch he is. Then it will be done, he wont ever say shit again and you will have the respect you deserve.

 

[maniclion]

Put his head through the school trophy case, thats what my friend Travis did to this punk ass gangsta wannabe back in our sophomore year, it started a whole race riot between whites, blacks and mexicans. After school a huge brawl wound up in the shopping plaza across from the school and some black kid pulled out a shotgun and shot one of the Lil Mafia mexicans cars tires and everyone dispersed and at the same instant cops were coming from all directions, I just happened to be walking home and the crowd caught up to me and the cops stopped us all and they photographed me as a gang member, I was pissed...I wanted his badge number and shit I was going to make a complaint...like I was the one white guy in a mexican only gang.

 

[AKIRA]

That's exactly how I thought when I was younger, I remember being bullied, but then thinking ''if I get into a fight, I will get suspended...It's not worth it''...Let me tell you something, if I could go back in time, I would do anything to stop the bullying, even if that meant stabbing someone with a pen! I mean it, don't fall into the ''It's not worth it'' mentality, if it's really bothering you that much, that's your mind telling you you got to do something about it!
No one ever said being a tough guy will be easy, you must be brave, and willing to fight many people at once, but the reward is great, your self-esteem is really high when you know you have balls and you have courage!

This is totally true. I didnt back myself up in high school, actually middle school too and I fucking hated myself for it since. Standing up for yourself or putting someone in their place is far more rewarding. Getting into ONE tussle isnt going to destroy your future. Besides, if you know without a doubt that can pummel him, then I say slap him. Something condesending. Rob him of his masculinity. When I finally let loose here and there, I felt so good. But I am pretty angry that I didnt do it more often, and for that, Id love to go back in time and beat the shit out of myself.

Few questions though...

1. What does he exactly say that boils you? I want to hear actual statements. I want to know how cruel or annoying this kid is.
2. Do you ever see him out of school? If you do and you dont do anything, then no advice will help here.
3. How do you know you can win SO easily? If he knows it too, like you say, I find it hard to understand why he picks on you. This is why question number 1 is most important.

 

[AKIRA]

Man , call him out... I used to love knocking out bullies. Seriously, right in front of all his buddies just tell him what a bitch he is etc. Then make a meeting place for after school and tell everyone to show up so the fight is fair and then rock him old school. Thats how we ended all our beefs when I was in Highschool. You will get your satisfaction and its usually the final word so to speak if everyone witneses it.... Plus now he has to show up or look like the bitch he is. Then it will be done, he wont ever say shit again and you will have the respect you deserve.

Never do that. Someone can always use a weapon. And fuck that.