The hot water pools are steaming, Fagan and Monsanto and the others are all sitting peacefully up to their necks, they???re all naked, but there???s a gang of fairies also there naked all standing around in various bath house postures that make me hesitate to take my clothes off just on general principles ??? In fact Cody doesnt even bother to do anything but lie down with his clothes on in the sun, on the balcony table, and just smoke ??? But I borrow McLear???s yellow bathingsuit and get in ??? ???What ya wearing a bathingsuit in a hot springs pool for boy? ??? says Fagan chuckling ??? With horror I realize there???s spermatazoa floating in the hot water??? I look and I see the other men (the fairies) all taking good long looks at Ron Blake who stands there facing the sea with his arse for all to behold, not to mention McLear and Dave Wain too ??? But it???s very typical of me and Cody that we wont undress in this situation (we were both raised Catholics? ) ??? Supposedly the big sex heroes of our generation, in fact ??? You might think ??? But the combination of the strange silent watching fairy-men, and the dead otter out there, and the spermatazoa in the pools makes me sick, not to mention that when somebody informs me this bath house is owned by the young writer Kevin Cudahy whom I knew very well in New York and I ask one of the younger strangers where???s Kevin Cudahy he doesnt even deign to reply ??? Thinking he hasnt heard me I ask again, no reply, no notice, I ask a third time, this time he gets up and stalks out angrily to the locker rooms ??? It all adds up to the confusion that???s beginning to pile up in my battered drinking brain anyway, the constant reminders of death not the least of which was the death of my peaceful love of Raton Canyon now suddenly becoming a horror.
. .all this C and test, Im cracking wood all day at werk . . considered LHJO in the men's toilets, would have too if it wasnt for the George Michael connotations 
my god I quit fuck this
