I'll keep it brief guys:
I am currently 26 years old and trying to transform my body to a new me. I went through some hard times in my life the last few years and it took a lot out of me. When I was 19years old, I was addicted to gambling at the casino and I was scammed by a conartist at the casino promising to teach me how to play (which worked at first, but then i started losing). When I was 21 years old I was in brutally beaten and nearly stabbed to death with multiple wounds on my body, nearly a dozen. I went into post-traumatic stress and lost trust in everyone and hid in doors while discontinuing seeing friends. I went into a deep depression and as well lost the love of my life which we were together for a year. I broke up with her because my family hated her so much and said she set me up and it was hard for me to believe/not believe. I lost nearly 45,000 usd in 6 days due to a gambling addiction just 6 months prior to my stabbing. Then I had to break up with my girlfriend. I stopped working out and estrogen started building up while my cortisol was extremely high and I was getting panic attacks always at work at school. I continued on school and work after my stabbing and believed everything was okay, but it wasnt. I kept feeling depressed and felt very emotionally weak. I knew something was wrong and I thought I can have no cure and this was my "new" life that I must face.
Then I fell in love with another girl and she was the most important to me in the world out of everything. I gave her my all. She soon changed and played me like a fool, laughed at me while I was tearing up having a hard time calling me "weak and pathetic". Soon we broke up as well and I was devasted.
It was the hardest time of my life and I felt like I can do nothing about it. I sat quietly for hours thinking of when I was the strongest in my life and when I had the most "control". It was when I was 20years old, spending 1 solid year bodybuilding and trying to bulk up as much as possible with strict dedication. I had confidence, a good mood, and things were going my way. Soon I started putting "bodybuilding" as the importance of my life - and I started to change. I noticed my cortisol went down, and my confidence went up. I realized it was a necessity in my life and that it will always be a part of me till I die young or old. I learned to never lose faith, and I can use my "stressful emotions" towards a positive new me.
Now here I am, writing to all of you IM members just to share with you a part of my life and I hope you all can keep your heads up and keep doing whatever you do that makes you "strong", bodybuilding or not. No matter how many difficult struggles you face or times to come, remember you are strong and everything will be in your control again.
604guy