heckler7
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WTF, heathen
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Anything Goes Religious Corner
- Thread starter theCaptn'
- Start date
mooch2321
Registered
Hey everyone AnythingGoeser, I can hardly contain my excitement considering what just happened today! My son, Brucie, who's just turned 6 years old has already punched his first homer! It was a complete bloodbath, Brucie had to punch him 11 times before the little rat got the message. Brucie's tiny hands are covered in bruises and cuts but as always... you should have seen the OTHER GUY! Praise GOD that he is big and strong for his age! The little homer kid, also 6, minced into my chosen CHRISTIAN private school sporting a yellow bag on his first day back from half term - yellow! probably a homer, I had to alert my brave little warrior. Just before I bid my little hero farewell for the day, I pulled him close to me and whispered in his ear "Brucie son, you see him, over there? He is an abomination like in Leviticus 18:22. Stay far away from him, but if he approaches you, then punch him for hating Jesus" "Okay Mommy, I love you, bye" he replied with a smile.
Let me tell you my eyes were filled with the tears of joy for Jesus when I picked him up from school and heard about what had happened - little Brucie attacked without mercy, Shout GLORY! The suspension Brucie received was a small price to pay (apparently whilst being pounded to the ground homerboy hit his head on the corner of a table and cracked it open, little sissy ). A teacher came in and under the schools rules and regulations was forced by law to punish my God fearing little soldier, ridiculous but there you go - that's what happens when liberal obama gets into the whitehouse.
So he's punched his first queer, but certainly not his last! Praise!
I thought the way I handled this and the way I talked my son into fighting for GOD really worked a treat, and would be an example to others who don't have the time to homeschool the children.
are you really a chick?
piss off Jehova Witness?..
mooch2321
Registered
I feel much moar jerked n tanneded when mooch is around
is that because you think my jerked and tannedness rubs off on you?? because let me tell you cap, it does, its scientific fact that it does!
mooch2321
Registered
Ahh... Bless your heart! Back in the day perhaps, but now yoar small n pale
oh god, give me moar gears!!! fuck these trt doses, i must get hyooge again!
GearsMcGilf
Registered
My woman is all religious and shit, so I have to be cautious with the religion jokes. But seriously, after our anal session t'other nite, it would have been fun to wiped my cawk off with a couple pages torn out of the bible. What would really have been hot is to use a crucifix to manually get her off. OMFG I hope she never finds this place like that EX did.
GearsMcGilf
Registered
Allah and hismessenger Muhammed would be so proud of you and the wrath that you wreak upon the non believers, even if you're an infidel christian.
longworthb
Banned Member
That's fine as long as she's only a devil in bed 
longworthb
Banned Member
I'm more of a holy shit type of guy
I worked as a TA in a history of religion class one year. True story. Atheist junkie teaching a bunch of 18-19 yr olds about religion. I liked to give the obviously christian slanted papers F's and mark them all to shit. Undergrad was such a wonderful time. Now I have no time to get high or think about Philosophy or why God doesn't exist. 
heckler7
Registered
Azza came out the devils butt, hope this helps
Is it just me, or does everyone else get tired of talking shit about religion when it seems like no one is getting offended any more? I miss all the uptight holy rollers getting steam collared by a smile cast stream of blasphemy. We need some more suit wearing fundamentalists to liven this place up.
True that. Welcome back man!
It's good to be back. I've missed this cesspool.
What's been happening up in Alaska?
I do nothing but work my ass off. Luckily there's a gym up north in the oil field. I get to destroy the earth by aiding in the production of oil and risk life and limb for better pay than what I could get in town. It's insanely brutal work and incredibly dangerous. They nearly blew us all up a couple of weeks ago when the central gas facility lost compression. So the whole field was lit up from the flame stacks burning off extra gases. I'm talking 7 or 8 story flames coming up off the torches. it was cool looking. 4 days before that, there was a malfunction in one of the halon systems in a mod building and they had a halon dump right next to where we were working. Halon is a pretty nasty fire retardant. It's been banned by the epa.
I've seen an increase in these types in recent years. Equally misguided, but generally harmless.
That's some good weed
