Nuke - I can completely understand why you would push your family away before deployment, it is a self preservation technique that many have to use inorder to deal with the upcoming seperation. Don't beat yourself up over it. I'm sure your wife will realize that's how you deal with the stress of deploying and will forgive you.
As for your shoulder workout..nice
I feel the same way about shoulders being worked again on chest and back days and I don't do as much volume on shoulder days. As to suggestons for shoulder workout, I will defer to others on here for suggestions.
By the way, are you getting to watch the Army/Navy game?
I just have to say...GO ARMY!! 
As for your shoulder workout..nice

By the way, are you getting to watch the Army/Navy game?

