Duncan's Diary

[Duncan]

Dear Diary,

I saw the hottest chick in the world today, damn would I love to knock the bottom out of that a$$. On another note, I failed my homeroom midterm, I swear Mr. Smith is still mad at me for not giving him oral. On a side note, Timmy and Sara are now an item, but I think Timmy is using Sara to get to Tyra. Only time will tell, though. Also, mom is especially hard on me these past few days about picking up the dog's poop. I have a feeling the board of health has been hinting at an inspection since she has actually been flushing the toilet lately. I hope the state doesn't try to take me away again, this trailer is the only home I have ever known. Well, tomorrow is the sabbath, I hope I don't have to have another one-on-one with my priest, my ass couldn't handle the pounding this time. Well, it is time for bed, until tomorrow.

 

[Miss LeDix]

What is this all about?

 

[w8lifter]

ROTFLMAO....... Really, you're so fuking funny

 

[w8lifter]

It's his diary ....I hope it's updated daily, lol.

 

[Eggs]

I second that, Duncan, you going to update this biatch daily? *referring to the diary, not you w8 *

 

[w8lifter]

Originally posted by Eggs
I second that, Duncan, you going to update this biatch daily? *referring to the diary, not you w8 *

Hey! I'm not the biatch, mmafiter is!

 

[Duncan]

Dear Diary

I just got back from church and boy is my jaw tired. Today is Mother's Day and I got Mommy a card and flowers. Daddy told me he got her a pocket rocket. I don't know what that is, but I think it is like the toy rocket I got last christmas that you fill with water and then pump up until it has enough pressure to shoot into the air. Actually, mine broke last week so I think I am going to ask for a pocket rocket for my birthday. I got a new hair today and it is in the weirdest of places so I pulled it. All I know is that if I get another hair down there I will not be a happy camper. Well, the knew Sears catalog just got here so I am going to rip out the lingerie and bathing suit sections before Daddy gets to it. He told me to stop doing that or I will go blind, but I figure I can at least do it until i need glasses. Until next time...

 

[w8lifter]

OMG....I've got fuking tears rolling down my face I'm laughing so hard....LMAO!!!!!

 

[Fitgirl70]

OMG.....I'm rolling too!! Dunc~~100. Collective board~~ZERO
Can't wait to see what happens today

 

[Stacey]

Oh MY GOD...KEEP IT COMING..THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!!

 

[Duncan]

Dear Diary,

It hurts me to sit right now because Daddy spanked my bottom today. I was looking for the Sear's catalog and I found it where I usually find it, in the bathroom closet under all the towels. When I opened it up, all the pages were stiff and stuck together at the lingerie section. I asked Daddy how this happened and he got really mad and told me it must have been something I did. He spanked me again this morning when he found out I got a 96 on my spelling test. I don't know why he got mad, he got an 85 which isn't bad either. I think he is just worried that I may reach high school before him.

On another note, we ran out of toilet paper again so i had to use the neighbors newspaper again. Last week I had to erase Beetle Bailey from my butt because it must have transferreed onto my butt like it does with silly putty. I caught Daddy using his sock this morning and he acted like it never happened. Well, I have to go hose down the dog, he rolled in his poop again and smells like daddy's sock. Speaking of smells, I found Mommy's pocket rocket and it was different than the water rocket I got and it smelled like fish, go figure.

 

[w8lifter]

 

[esmerelda]

Ouch ouch ouuuuuuccccchhhhh!!!!! My sides are splitting!!! Thank you....thank you.... thank you for making my stressful morning more enjoyable!!!! Duncan....I think I need medical help after the pocket rocket!!!!!!

 

[Duncan]

Dear Diary,

It has been a long time since I have been able to write. I got in trouble on Tuesday and Daddy had my sit in a corner all day yesterday. It all started when I walked by my parents bedroom door. I heard Daddy screaming, "Oh my God!" over and over. I thought that he must be praying so I went in to join him for a quick prayer and when I walked in, Mommy was on her knees not Daddy, and I don't think what they were doing was praying. It was definitely a very familiar church activity, though, one that Reverend Mulholland calls polishing the pew.

Anyway, Daddy was pretty mad and sent me to my room all day so I tried to pry the pages of the Sears catalog apart. I managed to get 1 page where I could see part of the bra and a little panty so I did what I do best and I did it alot. I am starting to think that Daddy was lying about me doing that too much may cause me to go blind. If I didn't go blind from all the times I did it yesterday, I will never go blind.

 

[kuso]

 

[maniclion]

We need updates, 2 years worth.