Fucked up my first cycle and need help :D

[sharingan]

Bros, I ran a 18 week cycle of test e 500mg and deca 400mg pr week. I had a hard time studying and couldn't workout and diet properly so I quit mid cycle (I was actually planning to run for 6 months) I now that was pretty stupid, lol. Approximately 4-5 weeks after my last shot I started to get this super anxiety feeling. Like extreme scared for no reason and then I got super depressed. Like suicidal. (The scariest shit in my life!!). I do feel a bit better now. its been almost 2 months after my last shot. I still have anxiety and sometimes do feel depressed but not as much as before. I guess thats a good sign.

I was so depressed and scared that I had 0 sex drive. And obviously had no sex and didn't even talk to girls. My nuts are shrunken like prunes so I decided to masturbate just to see if anything comes out (lol) My volume is pretty low, I used to SHOOT huge loads but this time when I ejaculated it sort of leaked out like super slow motion and the volume was low and consistency was clumpy like boogers.

Bros don't go harsh on me, I know I fucked up but will I ever return to normal? I have done blodwoorks, all my hormones are at normal range except for pretty low test.

Also english is not my first language so, sorry

 

[dirtwarrior]

clumpy semen = prostate infection

 

[mmawarfare]

Did you even run a PCT

 

[raysd21]

Now you are SHOOTING blanks bro.

Get on the fucking HCG for 10 days then clomid for a couple months and do a proper PCT.

 

[SoCalSwole]

Now you are SHOOTING blanks bro.

Get on the fucking HCG for 10 days then clomid for a couple months and do a proper PCT.

Yep ^^^^ what Ray said.

 

[Ironman2001]

See.... this is the kinda shit that pisses me off! It's people like this that only add to the demonization of AAS use. They are so eager to jump on the "juice" and become an absolute freak of nature in 3 months that they neither research or prepare for a proper PCT. I betcha this guy doesn't even know what it is and if you do then shame on you for just simply ignoring it. However, if you were going to run a 24 wk 1st cycle i'm pretty sure i'm right on this one. Yes, you will return to normal but i hope you learn a lesson from all of the mis-preparation and honestly,blatant ignorance on your part. Lesson learned i hope, enuff said.

 

[SoCalSwole]

See.... this is the kinda shit that pisses me off! It's people like this that only add to the demonization of AAS use. They are so eager to jump on the "juice" and become an absolute freak of nature in 3 months that they neither research or prepare for a proper PCT. I betcha this guy doesn't even know what it is and if you do then shame on you for just simply ignoring it. However, if you were going to run a 24 wk 1st cycle i'm pretty sure i'm right on this one. Yes, you will return to normal but i hope you learn a lesson from all of the mis-preparation and honestly,blatant ignorance on your part. Lesson learned i hope, enuff said.

I see it all the time. Guys think they can go the gym 3 times a week for 45 min do 3 sets of 10 take some gear and in 3 months they should look like a freak right? What a huge wake up call it must be to realize that just like everything else in life you get what you give. Shitty effort and poor planning will get you shitty results and what this guys is dealing with. Its not a short cut its just an amplifier of your direct effort.

Like digging a ditch you could do it by hand with a shovel and get it done. But a back hoe gets it done faster bottom line you still have to dig the hole.

 

[Ironman2001]

I see it all the time. Guys think they can go the gym 3 times a week for 45 min do 3 sets of 10 take some gear and in 3 months they should look like a freak right? What a huge wake up call it must be to realize that just like everything else in life you get what you give. Shitty effort and poor planning will get you shitty results and what this guys is dealing with. Its not a short cut its just an amplifier of your direct effort.

Like digging a ditch you could do it by hand with a shovel and get it done. But a back hoe gets it done faster bottom line you still have to dig the hole.

Exactly SoCal, Some believe, especially the haters who are totally out of shape and wouldn't train if you held a gun to their head i might add, That you can pin gear,sit on the couch and eat bon bon's , watch re-runs of the golden girls all day long and get freaky huge! YUP, THATS HOW IT WORKS! I am so sick of the ignorant comments you hear when it comes to AAS. Dude.....your dick will shrink, he's on roids that's all fake and so on and so forth. Actually, my dick looks bigger due to my raisinesque balls(pre HCG). I guess all the hard work and sweat sacrificed at the gym, all the meal prep, all the social sacrifices made....I guess all that shit was fake too. People think gear is some magical potion and that's just not the case. I guess my main point before i leaped onto my soapbox is this. If you are not responsible enough to plan a proper PCT and ensure you have all needed items on hand BEFORE you start your cycle, then you ceratainly are not responsible enough to run AAS and should continue to shop at GNC. You will get considerably freakier going that route anyway with Muscletech supps and the like. That is all.