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12/1/03 chest/abs (5-8 reps)

this was such a shitty day. It was filled with nothing but deppresion and anger and I though the workout would help take my mind of things but I guess I wasn;t in it all the way so the workout suffered, I am not pleased with the weights I was using here for my heavy week. I have such a headache right now and my blood pressure is throught the roof........really stressed out. I am on the verge of either a heart attack or spontaneus hunam combustion, what ever comes first. Here is the crappy workout:

bench press
275x5 (really wanted 8 here)
275x4 (damn it that sucked)
245x5 (confirming the fact that I am a bitch)
drop set 225x5, 135x7, 45x14 (thank god that is over)

neutral grip 15 degree incline dumbell bench press
90x4 (holy shit what is wrong with me)
75x6
75x6

high cable crossover
plate#8x8
plate#9x7
plate#9x6
plate#7x9
plate#7x8

dumbell swiss ball flyes (pump exercsise....went for high reps)
45x15
45x12
45x11
45x10

pathetic!!
 
I am on the verge of either a heart attack or spontaneus hunam combustion, what ever comes first.
Why? :(
 
stressed out......trying to find an apartment (*side note....my roomate is moving out this week and taking his computer so if I dissapear for awhile don't worry, I shall return once I figure out were I am going), have very little money. Tired of scaping by in life.....no money, no life, no health insurance. Probably going to have to get a second job (really don;t want to do that). Can't stand society at the moment.....people treat me like shit..........just overall, pretty disgusted with my life and what I have made for myself this far........how are you??:)
 
First of all, if those poundages confirm that your a bitch- what the hell you calling me? :)

What's up man? Is it school, work, the girls or finding an apartment? I'm pretty stressed with school right now. Sometimes I lay on the couch with my feet up and put a hat or towel over my head so it's completely dark. Helps me think better and sometimes calm myself down to a more rational place. We are here if you want to talk!
 
Whoops, we posted at the same time.
 
actually, I am not in school right now. I am thinking about going back in the summer to begin work on my masters however I keep stressing myself out and I can;t bring myself to apply. I get really scared and end up calling my father and telling him that I can;t do it because I am afraid of failing all of my classes....I don;t think I am smart enough to get my masters in nutrition science and I am really afraid of being a failure. I am so upset because I feel like I have already been a failure up to this point and I don;t want him to help me pay for more school only to have him dissapoint me. The apartment is really stressing me out now also as well as the money needed to get an aparment. The girls are always stressing me out and I just walk around all day feeling like a loser.
 
Well you gotta take it one thing at a time. I think you should get your Masters, but wait until your a little more stable apartment wise IMO. I've read alot of your posts and half of them are over my head. I think your definately smart enough to get your Masters. Especially when I look at people around me and relatives who have their masters, I put you up above them! My wife is working on hers right now and it's not as bad as she thought it would be. Just gotta put in the time. I'm working on my associates right now, can't even imagine getting to my Masters. :)

Dude, your not a loser and you have got to stop thinking that your are! I bet you are very appealing to ladies, but that attitude is not appealing to anyone! You might be afraid of failing and other things, but that doesn't make you a loser and you know that! Being afraid of failing is normal with most people, certainly is with me. But you still have to take that leap and land wherever it throws you. That's part of what life is about.

I would really suggest that you get involved in a Church, or if that doesn't fit in your beliefs, then some charity or something that helps other people. You need to take the focus off of yourself a bit (I'm talking about the whole loser complex) and help some other people some. Will do loads for your confidence and how you percieve the world around you!
 
OMG Funky..........first BREATH.....In.........Out............In.............Out

How in the world could you consider yourself a failure? Everyday you help people and provide motivation to all your clients. Everyday you keep yourself in a healthy regimen by working out and eating right. You've told me yourself how great your parents are and I highly doubt that either of them consider you a failure. You packed up, moved a few states away into a big city, you got yourself a job and friends and your going to continue with school. No parent could ever look at you as a failure.

As far as failing out of school.............YAH RIGHT!!! You are by far the smartest members/moderators on this board. Your knowledge is impecible and people look up to you here and at your job.

We've all had financial troubles and yes, it sucks. Just do your best to get by and bigger and better things will come your way.

Don't be so down on yourself. Your doing great. :)
 
It is hard for me to see myself as anything but a failure, regadless of what others say about me. I have gone through darker times than this. When I was in college working on my BA of music performance at Berklee college of music in Boston, I put so much pressure on myself to be a great guitar player. I sat in my room for 8 hours a day and practiced. When you practice you literaly work on everything you are not good at. Imagine sitting in a room....alone.....for 8-10hrs at a time....focusing on everything you are bad at. I was an emotional wreck. I went through periods of not speaking at all.....I would sit there and cry.....I would tell myself how bad I was at everything. I hated Boston because of the fact that I had put so much pressureon myself to be a great musician. This had totally wrecked my life. I never see myself in a positive light anymore. All I do is criticize and focus on what I can;t do or what I do wrong. I have all this self inflicted pressure on myself and I don;t know how to get away form it. In college it was the worst....to the point were my father told me that my mom, all the way home in cleveland, would cry and get upset because she was afraid that I was going to kil myself. I am so unhappy with myself all the time that it brings me down. I usually can fake it through the day and pretend to be happy because I hate having people ask me what's wrong but the last couple weeks I have been really getting down.....I don;t think I can hide it anymore.

(hmm, maybe I should delet this.....I almost never talk about this stuff.)
 
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No, Don't delete this you need to talk about stuff like this. Trust me I know. If you don't then you blow up and cause more damage than if you just let it out as needed.

First you need to find what it is that is making you unhappy. I know the money and apartment issues don't help but it goes deeper than this.

I certainly know depression and what havoc it does to you. Finding the answer to all your problems is not the way to solve it. Work on one thing at a time. Dig deep, find the root and work your way up from there.

Think of the positive things in your life. Your accomplishments, your goals, your friends.
 
thanks, I guess I just have a lot of things I need to think about. I really don't know what it is that makes me unhappy.
 
It took me a while to find it too but when I did, I started changing things in my life. I still suffer from some of the depression but I get by and I try to work on those things.

Friends and family can listen, provide advice and support but only YOU can make the changes to make you happier.

I told you I'll listen anytime. You have my number, email and my aim. Anytime you need to talk just let me know. I know its hard but sometimes just talking and having someone listen can do wonders. :kiss:
 
Ditto that here P-funk! On a side note, one you may not want to hear. I work in an ER and see stuff like this all the time, especially being in DC. Depression can sometimes be more than self-inflicted. You really may want to talk to a professional about how you feel and how you've felt in the past. They may be able to do more for you than you think. Something to consider. I like you P-funk and don't want to see you hurting like this! :"
 
school can be a bitch...trust me i live in oakland and go to school in Walla Walla,WA. that is a fucking change...how can u call urself a loser? u one of the smartest guys on this forum..and no u won't flunk...it is not that easy..u are way underestimating urself bro...check my PM
 
Sorry to heat that life is treating you hard right now... I have a question to ask of you. Well, its more like asking you about "A Classic Time W. Co." :)
 
Originally posted by PreMier
Sorry to heat that life is treating you hard right now... I have a question to ask of you. Well, its more like asking you about "A Classic Time W. Co." :)

lol, how do you know that name?? Did you work there when I did, or are you a freind of Yanick's?? Or are you Yanick signed in under another name??
 
12/2 back (5-8 reps)

bent over rows
205x8
215x6
215x5
215x4

wide grip pull up
bwx8
bwx8
bwx8
bwx5

neutral grip machine row
190x8
190x7
190x6

reverse grip pull downs
plate#12x8
plate#13x8
plate#14x7

unilateral cable rows (seated woth elbow high in the transverse plane)
plate#5x8
plate#6x8

hypers (holding weight behind head)
bw + 10x10
bw + 25x8
bw + 25x8
bw + 25x8
 
Wish I could work back :(

How you feeling today Funky?
 
why can't you work back?? Already to huge!!

I feel the same today.....actaully I now feel a little bit worse because with all my stress and upset feelings I just was on the phone with my dad and I ended up yelling at him, which I feel really bad about.
 
Oh Funky............then you should call him back. It may make you feel better. You never want to hang up the phone with your loved ones angry.

I have a thoratic lumbar strain :grumble: Did it the other day doing Good Mornings :mad:
 
Originally posted by P-funk
lol, how do you know that name?? Did you work there when I did, or are you a freind of Yanick's?? Or are you Yanick signed in under another name??


No, I didnt work there, and no I am not Yanick nor am I Yanick sighned under a different name, nor am I a friend of Yanick. :p

I belong to another forum, and I had your quote in my sig there. The "If your mind can conceive it and your heart can believe it then you can achieve it." quote. A member on the forum by the name of X~Factor said he knew you. I dont know his real name, but he worked with you there I guess. Anyways he says "Hello!"
 
How weird man!
 
Originally posted by Jodi
Oh Funky............then you should call him back. It may make you feel better. You never want to hang up the phone with your loved ones angry.

I have a thoratic lumbar strain :grumble: Did it the other day doing Good Mornings :mad:

I am sorry to hear that. I try and stay away from goodmornings, they are kellier on the spine. Hope you get well soon.

Premier, which forum is this? I don't know anyone that would be signed in under the name x-factor. That is strange that they recognized the signature. I can;t think of who this could be since the place I worked at was small and Yanick and I were the only ones into bodybuilding and he is the only one that would know that I have a signature like that.
 
And the mystery continues...
 
LoL, I have a name for you :p Lets see... first he drives an explorer... know now? Its Ray! He is on Explorerforum.com :D
 
holy shit...........ray!!!!!! How did he know recognize that signature as mine?? Fuckin' ray.......lol, explorerforum.com....hahaha, that is so ray.....his damn explorer.
 
He knew it was you because I gave credit where credit is due :p

Example of my old sig: "If your mind can conceive it and your heart can believe it then you can achieve it." Posted by P-funk on IM forum.

Someone else on EF liked it too, so it is in their sig now, thats why I dont use it anymore :D
 
lol............man, I would always tell ray to join this forum and he never did. I would love to here form him again, I used to bust his chops about training all the time.
 
I gave him the link to this thread. I dont think he wants to join the forum, but ya never know... LoL

You could always jump on over to EF.com and say hi to him there :p Hit me up if ya do, my name is Premier over there as well.
 
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