well, I didn't make it up, but I got it in an email.
>
> Guys' Rules
>
> At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down?
> Finally, the guys'side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
>
> We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are
> the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please
> note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
>
> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,
> put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
> complaining about you leaving it down
>
> 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
> tides. Let it be.
>
> 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think
> of it that way.
>
> 1. Crying is blackmail.
>
> 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle
> hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do
> not work! Just say it!
>
> 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
> question.
>
> 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
> That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>
> 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a
> doctor.
>
> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
> In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
>
> 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't
> expect us to act like soap opera guys.
>
> 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
>
> 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of
> the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
>
> 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you
> want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do
> it yourself.
>
> 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
> commercials.
>
> 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do
> we.
>
> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
> Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a
> fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
>
> 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
>
> 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act
> like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth
> the hassle.
>
> 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
> answer you don't want to hear.
>
> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
> fine...Really.
>
> 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
> prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or
> monster
> trucks.
>
> 1. You have enough clothes.
>
> 1. You have too many shoes.
>
> 1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
>
> 1. Thank you for reading this.
>
> Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you
> know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
>
> Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
>
> Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger
> laugh!!
>
>
> Guys' Rules
>
> At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down?
> Finally, the guys'side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
>
> We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are
> the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please
> note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
>
> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,
> put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
> complaining about you leaving it down
>
> 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
> tides. Let it be.
>
> 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think
> of it that way.
>
> 1. Crying is blackmail.
>
> 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle
> hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do
> not work! Just say it!
>
> 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
> question.
>
> 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
> That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>
> 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a
> doctor.
>
> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
> In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
>
> 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't
> expect us to act like soap opera guys.
>
> 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
>
> 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of
> the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
>
> 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you
> want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do
> it yourself.
>
> 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
> commercials.
>
> 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do
> we.
>
> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
> Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a
> fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
>
> 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
>
> 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act
> like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth
> the hassle.
>
> 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
> answer you don't want to hear.
>
> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
> fine...Really.
>
> 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
> prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or
> monster
> trucks.
>
> 1. You have enough clothes.
>
> 1. You have too many shoes.
>
> 1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
>
> 1. Thank you for reading this.
>
> Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you
> know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
>
> Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
>
> Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger
> laugh!!
>
I was wrong.
