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How to predict a tsa pat down

dogsoldier

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I always go to the bathroom and work up a little chubby before I step in the tsa line. I want it to be as uncomfortable as possible if I do get pulled
 
Wear sweat pants and pop a viagra a half hour before. Then tell the dude at the metal detector "You got a purty mouth."
 
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She gets pulled aside for "extra screening"
 
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